Is This "normal"

[qbee817]

I haven't visited this site for awhile. I thought I had a handle on my grief but I was so wrong. It's been 15 months since I lost companion/best friend. It's been a struggle with all these stages I go thru. Struggle, struggle, struggle. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of feeling like this, sick of missing him, sick of trying to get thru this, sick of it all. All day I've been fighting tears or giving in to them. I went back to grief counseling last week. I was starting a new chapter in my life after a divorce after 25 years of marriage. It took me over 3 years after the divorce to even be interested in companionship again. I met the most wonderful person of my entire life, who brought out the love in me that had been buried over the years. We were together only 6 months and he died suddenly in our living room. I am lost and I don't even want to have a heart anymore. I know there a so many people who have been thru worse than me, but all I wanted to be was happy. I had been unhappy for so many years and I found happiness and love. Then in a matter of minutes he was ripped away. I don't understand and know there is no way to understand. Thanks for listening and I just hope someone can relate to these crazy thoughts.

[STARKISS]

HI THERE, I DO BELIEVE THAT WHAT YOUR FEELING IS NORMAL BECAUSE I FEEL THE SAME WAY. MY MOM DIED APRIL 2005 AND MY DAD DIED AUGUST 2005 AND I WANT TO SO BADLY TO FEEL THE WAY I USED TO FEEL BEFORE EVERYTHING HAPPENED BUT I CAN NOT ALL I FEEL IS DEPRESSED AND EMPTY INSIDE AND WHEN I AM NOT FEELING THIS I FEEL VERY TORN APART INSIDE AS WELL I KNOW THEY SAY IT TAKES TIME AND MAYBE IF WE KEEP TALKING ABOUT HOW WE FEEL TRUTHFULLY THAN MAYBE THE PAIN WILL SLOWLY DISAPPEAR. I HOPE I HELPED YOU AND GOD BLESS AND HOPE YOU FIND PEACE