kayc Posted September 25, 2005 Report Share Posted September 25, 2005 Today I finally got around to putting together a package for each of George's kids...a favorite sweater, his Bible, his Baptismal and Membership certificates, some jewelry that had very strong sentimental value to him/us...it was hard to part with anything, but I have put it off too long, they need something to hold of him too. A young man we had written to for five years in prison got out this week...I picked him up from Boot Camp...I knew he wouldn't have anything but the clothes on his back so I packed up most of George's clothes and travel kit, wallet, and took it with me so he can use what he can and share the rest with others like him who are in need. I knew it's what George would want. I kept my very favorite items...his fishing vest and hat, the shirt he wore when we were married, the sweater he liked to wear to church, favorite shirts...and I'll never part with his robe. It's funny how these "things", these inanimate objects so signify the person who wore them...they feel a comfort to me when I go about my life...alone. Someone mentioned smelling their loved one on their clothes...I used to but it long since went away...but in my mind I will never forget his scent. How very lucky we were to have someone that we have loved like we do! There are many who have never had this. I feel very blessed, even in my alone-ness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trisha Posted September 25, 2005 Report Share Posted September 25, 2005 KayCI slept with Steve's shirt that he was wearing on the day he died. I could smell him on that shirt and felt very close to him. You are right, even in our pain, we are blessed to have loved so well. I wear his shirts as nightshirts and they help me to feel close to him. I even use his cologne. There are things that I could not stand to see anymore, like the chair that he died in. I had my boys remove that chair the same day. That chair reminded me of Steve's suffering and how he couldn't do the things he loved any longer. He was a great athlete, loved fishing, hunting and family. He loved football and would have loved to see the Redskins-Dallas game. Living in Maryland, he was a Redskin fan and long ago a Baltimore Colts fan. In the last days, he had a hard time just getting to the bathroom without being worn out. My heart broke for this independent man who had lost so much. He was on oxygen and the only time he got out was for hospital trips or doctor's appointments. We always held hands on these trips. He would say, "I'm so glad you're with me" and I would tell him, "I wouldn't be anywhere else." We have been together since we were just kids, 13 and 14. We made our 40th wedding anniversary on June 4th of this year and had hoped to celebrate his 60th birthday on September 29th. I am going to counseling tomorrow to try to get some focus in my "new" horrible life. As you see, I ramble on in every direction. I lost the thread of this discussion somewhere in the beginning. I just know that all of us had a very special love and are truly heartbroken. I hope we all eventually find some peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 26, 2005 Author Report Share Posted September 26, 2005 Trisha,Don't worry about "losing the thread of the conversation"...we all do...if you notice, we post a topic and it starts out about that and then we end up replying to each other and we end up in a different direction. That's okay. We are getting out of this forum what we need to. I understand about your wanting to be rid of his chair...the first thing I did was throw away all of George's welding clothes...I didn't want to see them again. I felt the job he had greatly contributed to his hastened death...they used him up until the day he died, cracking the whip and they never even paid their respects or said thank you for what a wonderful man he was, what terrific work ethics he had, what a great job he did. I like to sleep in his robe, and even though it's lost his smell by now, I can still imagine it for it lingers on in my memory. As long as we are here and our kids, their memory will be kept alive...and by the time we get to join them, the most important thing will be our joyous reunion!Good luck with the counseling, and we will all remember you in our prayers on Thursday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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