dave s Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 Not even 5 months out from the death of Mike, my father has contracted a horrible infection.......gallbladder? or from the site of the incision in his groin from the recent procedure......doesnt matter he is septic the same thing that killed Mike, and prognosis poor........at 1 sec I am numb, the other hysterical.........not sure I have the strength to deal with this......Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 Oh Dave, I'm so very sorry to learn this horrible news. Know that you and your father are being held in gentle thought and prayer by all of us . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave s Posted October 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 oh thks Marty, left the hospital to come and check on my gma, only 15 min away from the hospital hope after a shower and a cry can at least sleep for an hr, of course exhaustion makes a horrible situation worse.....Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave s Posted October 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 Marty is there anyway you can get ahold of Maryjo M, my grief counselor through hov, in Phoenix and have her call me, dont have her number handy and is would be great to hear from her, feel like I have just stepped back 6 months in 1 day in my work to rebuild...she should have my number thks!!Dave Smith Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terp8r Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 Oh Dave, I'm so sorry to hear that. Sending love and hugs your way. Love, Pam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 Dave, my thoughts are with you and will pray for your dad too. I'm so sorry, I don't know why things happen one on top of another, you've had enough to deal with. Let's hope the doctors can get this turned around...try really hrd not to project what happened to Mike to happen to your dad, it might have a different outcome, let's hope. Kay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 Dave, dear, I'm not sure if the Bereavement office is open yet, but I will do my best to make sure your bereavement counselor is notified of your request. Again, I am so sorry ~ but please know that we all are walking beside you, every step of the way, wherever this road may lead . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 Glad we chatted on the phone. Please feel free to call as you wish or need to. We are all with you and your Mom. I am so sorry this is happening. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 I just got another call from David. Things are turning around for his Dad and he is feeling much more positive about his recovery. A nurse friend of his is on duty with his Dad for the next three days. David sounded good. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 Dear Dave, Hang in there. Our thoughts are with you. Consider yourself hugged as needed. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 Dave, I'm so pleased to learn that your dad is feeling a little better ~ I understand that you've been in touch with your counselor at HOV, so unless you tell me otherwise, I will assume that all is well in that regard. Meanwhile, my thanks to all our members for caring for and so beautifully looking after one another. You are just the BEST Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave s Posted October 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 What a wide range of emotions today, am drained but so far gratefull that are status has not improved any further as of yet but has not declined either. Last night brought me back to 6 months ago, when I learned of Mikes terminal status, and the horror of what I knew was to come for him, little did I fully understand the horror for me that was to unfold. Last night reminded of all that, then on top of that I was then "Davey", what dad always called me, when I was a little boy...........then I was Dave, the man that had to be my parents caretaker, in a time like this.........and the caretaker for my siblings, for they were distraught, of course....In fact I was a hr from booking plane tickets, and arranging for then to be picked up from the airport when he turned around! We are not out of the woods by any means, before anything can be done we have to clear up a massive infection that was caused by a gallbladder problem, or infection contracted from the recent procedure he had, we also have to wait to have his blood work clear up, was placed on an experimental blood thinner that we are unaware of the halflife in his body is,and probable gallbladder surgery, which by itself can be no big deal, but with everything else!.......after all that then we will need to have a pacemaker implanted...which is the least of our worries......but for now to see him turn from the brink last night to actually smiling by this am.......to have people that I worked with, yrs ago to think so highly of me...that they all surrounded me with a whole lot of love for me and my family, and assure me that they will take care of everything, as I would do for their family.......is priceless, for now I can be Dave the son, not Dave RN son, the weight of the world is off my shoulders in a sense...........I felt that Mike was with me taking care of everything!!! Thanks for the good thoughts and prayers..... Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 Oh Dave, I can so relate to what you're saying. When you're in the mood to do so, you may want to read this: When the Griever Is a Health Care Professional Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted October 4, 2011 Report Share Posted October 4, 2011 Dave, I am so relieved that things are better for your dad and that you can be Dave, the son, instead of Dave the nurse for a while. I understand your need to do that perfectly. I am sorry I missed your call tonight. I was at my watercolor class and had my phone off because there is no signal where the instructor lives...we are pretty rural here. I have your number and can touch base tomorrow. I hope you get a good night's sleep and that your dad continues to improve though I understand a long road lies in front of all of you. My best to your mom also..I am sure she got the scare of her life and is probably still scared. Take care and don't forget to breathe. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwaynecg Posted October 4, 2011 Report Share Posted October 4, 2011 Dear Dave, I am so sorry to hear about your father. It is a little good news that he did have a little turn around. I will be saying a pray for both you and your father. Glad to here you are being the son, and letting the other nurses, be the nurse. I know it is very taxing, and trying on you. Being so close to the loss of your love, Mike. Hang in there. One day at a time. The best news is that he has not declined, and is fighting and holding his own. Be sure to get some rest, eat well, and keep hydrated, for your own self being, because the last thing you need is for you to get drained and then get sick yourself. Please keep us updated. God Bless Dwayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave s Posted October 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 Well I am drained emotionally and physically, Dad REMARKABLY is doing well!!!!! Goes in for a Lap. Choley today to take out his Gallbladder, am so very relieved, but now have returned to some dark areas of my life that I have......left behind, or thought so.........But despite my exhaustion, know that after I get some rest i need to do somemore Mike homework, and deal with the emotions, or the emotions will deal with me later on! Came to work today, needing to get n some hrs and only 20 minutes from the hospital, found out that one of my nurses aides, mom just died.....feel bad for him, for they want him to come back to work the day aftr the funeral.....alot to expect from anyone! I dont figure that the higher ups are aware of this, will need to intervene on his behalf......poor kid... Anyhow hanging in there.....Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 Oh Dave, this is WONDERFUL news! I am so glad to hear it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 Dear Dave, Good news on parental health is always an up. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 What a relief for you and your family...especially your Mom. Hope you can get some rest now in between hospital trips and job. Take care, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave s Posted October 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 Two days ago we were advised to prepre for the worse.....today dad sailed through surgery with an expectant release date of this fri!!!!!!! Thanks for the wonderfull support!!!!!! Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 Dave, dear, I'm so relieved to learn this news about your father ~ and I think your willingness to advocate on behalf of your recently bereaved co-worker is admirable. When time, if you think it would help, and if you have the energy (!), you might take a look at some of the resources listed on this webpage: Grief at Work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 Fantastic, Dave. What a great turn around. We are all with you. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terp8r Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 So happy that your dad is doing better! Hope his surgery is uneventful! Love, Pam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terp8r Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 Well, oops, I see where your dad did have an uneventful surgery, that's wonderful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave s Posted October 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 6, 2011 Well a long day but good, 12 hrs at work, 2 hrs driving......Nursing aint an easy racket! Spent some time with dad this eve on the way home....he continues to do well! and is moved out of icu to a step down unit...... Great!!!! What a week! It has just about done me in, time for some down time, but alas not in the cards.......yet. Tomorrow have a class for 2 hrs, 2 hrs drive time to and fro, and then home to my counselor, I really do think she is cool, and look froward to her advice and reassurance!!! Then off to take care of business, pick up some more paint for the fence, then to see dad again, off to Sharons house for a quick dinner ( Mikes sis) and to Healing rainbows a gay grief support group, the first one that is closer to my home...........then home and back to work fri! Man I need some time off.......again!!! Just so you know, I was able to intervene for the young man at work who just lost his mom, and his supervisor who wouldnt give time off, expected him to return to work the day after the funeral, this sat..being me and knowing how to play on people, hope I only use this for good purposes! I didnt want to cause any "drama" for this young man.....he is a good kid, maybe 23-26 didnt ask...I went into the Nurses station and announced, to others around me, his supervisor was there.....explained how much this job meant to me and how everyone here was so great about protecting my back during this very trying time, how people stepped up and allowed me to take as much time off as I have needed.....and announced that his mom had died just recently and I hoped that we would provide the same love and support to him as they had for me......1/2 hr later he was in the kitchen with his supervisor, later he announced that the time off was granted, without issue......the gratitude on his face was incredible!!! Actually made me feel really good, like he was really looking up to me! Interesting feeling to me!!! Well.....need to dust the house, have to do all my ritual everyday, control issues....I guess.....By the way hated to hear of the loss of Steve Jobs, made me realize again that I never watch the news anymore......I use to be a "news junkie" especially with MSNBC, not to start a controversial subject...Please! Just cant stand the drama of the world, at least not yet!!! Take care!! Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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