I'm Back

[abergsma]

I haven't been on this site for quite awhile. I really missed the conversations.

It's been 13 mths since my Cecil passed away. I am still not back at work but have a goal of Dec 1 to change that. It is scary thinking about it but must do it and try to get on with my life. I am still going to therapy weekly and that is helping.

Just sold my house and moving to an apartment at the end of the month. Have very mixed feelings but for financial reasons have no choice. My sister passed away in June which hasn't helped. I feel overwhelmed again....and am hybernating again. Need to pack but no motivation.

I need to take back my life...any suggestions??

Thanks so much

Allana

[mfh]

Hi Allana, I think I am new since you were here. My Bill died 18 months ago and energy and motivation still alludes me most of the time. Luckily I work at home part time and most of it is computer work. Bill and I moved about 8 months before he died so he could be able to walk around town etc. That lasted a short time but still glad we made the move for lots of reasons. I was exhausted when we moved from 4 years of care giving alone. He had Alzheimer's. I asked some friends to come in and help pack. In the end I counted 22 some of whom I did not know well but friends got them to help...no one put in more than a couple of days perhaps 4 hours at a time. I had movers and then had a couple close friends help me unpack essentials. Non essentials are still in boxes in the basement.

So all that to say, do you have anyone who could help you pack. Somehow having help made it easier for me to do some of it. Then that person or two or three could each invite someone perhaps. Just a thought that might assist you in the move. Moving is hard enough without grieving two losses. I am so sorry for your losses.

Glad you are on the forum as the support here is great and helpful because people get it. At 18 months out, not many even think about someone's grief.

Peace,

Mary

[Dwaynecg]

Dear Allana,

I am new at this site myself. I am so sorry to hear about your sister, passing away. That was the last thing you needed in you life now.

I lost my true love of my life in February. Pauline had MS for many years, like Mary, I was her soul caregiver for many years. After she passed I had a lot of health problems all summer long. I have a goal, I told Pauline 7 months before she passed, that if I was still young enough I wanted to become a nurse. It shocked her that I wanted to do that. I should start my schooling in early November, if they get the funding at the Career Center on the 20, as they have been told. I for one think, it is a good idea for you to try to get back to work again, and join the world of the living.

I wish you the best, and that you can find some peace and comfort in your new life again.

God Bless

Dwayne

[kayc]

Allana,

I agree, it would make all the difference in the world to have someone help you. Relatives, friends, neighbors, someone from church or his job, or anyone else you could think of. Maybe start by getting rid of whatever you don't want to take with you? Even just a box per day of "get rid of" and a box of stuff to take, label "kitchen" or wherever it's going to help you when you move.

It's good to have you back here. Sometimes we don't feel very motivated but have to do things anyway, so doing a bit each day is easier than saving it all for at once. Congratulations on selling your house, that is a huge feat...here they are not selling at all.

[abergsma]

Thanks so much for all your advice, it really helped.

Allana