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If Halloween's This Hard, Christmas Will Be Hell

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The 'My First Halloween' onesie hanging in Hudson's closet, unworn, is killing me.

I don't even like Halloween. But today was supposed to be different. He'd wear his little outfit, we would take all sorts of pictures. Instead we are sitting here, tortured by the fact he isn't here with us. Another reminder of how much he has to miss out on. God, I miss my baby.

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4 hours from now marks exactly 2 years since my Mom passed away (Nov. 1st., 2 AM). The way I get through it? I am working with my Mother's photos. I start with old scratched dusty photos. Then I clean up everything with Photoshop. Picking off a thousand bits of debris. And in an hour I have a clean photo of my Mother, a snapshot of her life from 60 years ago. I email these photos to my siblings and to my Mother's brother. Going strong on this for 4 days now, to mark the occasion of my Mother's passing. Preserving her legacy is the only way I know to cope.

Somehow you will find ways to dignify your life and your son's life.

Ron B.

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  • 2 months later...

I have same feeling as you.. I gave my daughter birth on October 26, 2011. She wanted come out. so She was 26 weeks and 5 days. Only weight 1 lbs and 15 oz. She survived has good lungs but smallest baby. She survived for 16 days. She passed away on Nov 11, 2011. I have hard hard time with Christmas. I have to though through this because i have oldest son who is 4 years old. But Christmas 2011 is not my favorite year because my baby girl departed before thanksgiving and Christmas. I bought many girls clothes for Callie and girl room now. I have to put up. Put up and funreal home is not very easy for me to accept. I have hard time decide what do with my daughter after she passed away. She supposed born January 2011. I have hard time face to hospital where she born etc... she died by Necotizing Entercositis.

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