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One Year

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Hi everyone. Today is the one year mark of when my mom collapsed and had to be rushed to the ER for the last time. We found out later it was a pulmonary embolism.

I got a call from my dad around noon, and I thought that he was probably calling to remind me to pick up the laundry I left at the house the night before. Instead, he told me that my mom had been on the phone with the neighbor and had started coughing pretty bad. She hung up, but called the neighbor back and managed to get out the words "come over" so the neighbor rushed over and found my mom collapsed on the living room floor by the front door, with blood on the carpet and her clothes. Anyway, my dad just told me that she was "throwing up blood" and asked if I could go over to the house since I could get there faster than him. He even laughed and said that the neighbor is probably overreacting and that the "blood" was probably just all the red Jello my mom had been eating lately (the only thing she could manage to get down without excruciating pain).

I hung up with him, told my boss I had to leave, and was home in about 5 minutes. I walked in the front door and found my mom lying on the floor unconscious, surrounded by blood, and with a big pot of blood sitting next to her. I will never forget that image. The EMT was working with her, the neighbor was standing in the dining room, and another EMT was sitting at the dining room table doing paperwork. I immediately went to help with the paperwork because I didn't know what else to do. Looking back, I don't know why I didn't kneel down and tell my mom I was there or even ask if she was okay. Shock, I guess.

They got her in the ambulance and I climbed in the front seat just as my dad got there. I let him ride with her and I took my car. My husband met us at the ER. It was awful. I still remember the pathetic look the one EMT gave me as she was leaving and it was then that I knew that my mom was not going to make it. The ER doctor was a jerk, the nurse didn't know how to suction and I thought my mom was going to choke to death on her own blood. It was the scariest thing I've ever witnessed. Her pulmonologist got there and wanted to do a test, so we had to leave the room. I grabbed her hand, gave her a kiss on the forehead, and told her I loved her. She looked at me and mouthed back that she loved me, too (she couldn't speak because of the ventilator). I guess I should be glad we got to have that last exchange because a lot of people don't.

Anyway, I won't ramble on about it. I just miss her so much and needed to share with people who would understand.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Your story is so close to mine. 6 yrs ago my grandmother went 2 the E.R. on a Friday morning for back pain. She had arthritis & osteoporosis and dealt with pains daily. This a.m. she couldnt take it & had Grandpa take her. She sent him home & would call when ready. I called about 6 p.m. & they said they were admitting her. At 1 a.m. my cousin who lived with them called my mom to tell her grandpa ran out of the house to go to the hosp. I live closest so she called me. My husband & I arrived to find her in ICU. She had a thoracic aortic aneurysm that was leaking. We said our goodbyes before they removed the life support. She died @ 6:07 a.m. I lost my grandmother, mother & best friend and even now, 6 yrs later, I cry every day.

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