Never Ask Why

[Novi]

Because that is the question that will 'get' you in the end.

If I stopped to ask why I found my dad dead in the garage when I was seventeen, it would drive me mad.

If I stopped to ask why my dad had chosen to take his own life, it would make me want to take mine.

Through experience I've learned that life is full of disappointments, and because of it have also learned that it's sometimes best to never ask why.

Just leave it at unfair.

It is unfair that my mom died less than three weeks ago.

It is unfair that she suffered so much in the last three months of her life.

It is unfair that the time we should have had together was cruelly taken from us.

It is unfair that at thirty-one I no longer have parents to turn to for advice, or for a hug...

I am grateful that my dad no longer suffers from this terrible disease called depression that plagued him for so long.

I am grateful that my mom no longer suffers from this terrible disease called cancer that plagued her so suddenly.

She was a fighter but was never given a fair chance.

I hope that I am coping well, because I can't say that I am not afraid right now.

~ Novi

[terp8r]

Novi, once again I find myself so touched by your words. I was 52 when my dad passed this June and I know how my heart broke, so I can't fathom how much pain you have experienced during your life. I send hugs to you. Love, Pam