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Grief: Defragmenting And Making Room For Something Wonderful

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Dear Marty,

I found that very interesting, on how longs it took them to come back to the land of the living again. I suffered a tremendous loss, with Pauline. I thought I would never be the same. I am not the same, just a better person to have that one of a kind true love in my life. Maybe because we saw how it would end for her so many years ago, that we prepared well. We left nothing unspoken about, no matter how hard it was and how many tears we shed over the years. I know have a new, and positive look on my life, and what I want to do with myself. Today was the first day of school, and we went through 50 medical terminology today, and will be tested in the morning. I was a great feeling to be able to move forwards in my life, but I will never forget, even the last weeks, the final day, her last breath is etched in my mind forever, but I do not think about the ending. I focus on all the 31+ years of all the wonderful memories we made together. That is what, keeps me going, and seeing Pauline's face when they were waking me up in recovery, seeing her Happy, and Healthy, even the same hair color, I had dyed it for her 5 weeks before she passed. That lit a burning blaze inside me, to do what she want for me, grieve, and still move forwards in my life, but never ever forgetting a great love lost.

God Bless


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