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Grandma's Birthday - And The Holidays

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I can't believe we are coming on to the 8 month anniversary of her death on the 11th. I can't believe she will have been gone that long. I can still feel her hand in mine. I can still feel her soft beautiful hair on my lips when I kiss her head.

Thanksgiving has come and one. This is the first Thanksgiving since 1949 that a massive meal wasn't created in her kitchen. Instead the house sat alone and empty. Closed up for the winter. Things still sitting in places she put them because none of us have the heart to truly start clearing her house out. Her home in Michigan - our family in our "new" life in Florida. Thanksgiving was a mixture of emotions. I missed my Grandma so much. My in laws were supposed to come to my home for Thanksgiving - driving the 16 hour drive from their home. Well - the first day of their drive my father - in -law felt ill. He had a heart attack two days before thanksgiving - while driving his car. Thankfully he will be OK. He pulled the car off the road before it happened and they were near a great hospital. So thanksgiving day was sad and happy - for I am so thankful we didn't lose my father in law on that day - but we spent our first Thanksgiving ever without any family. Just us.

Now comes the date of December 6th. I have been dreading that day. On December 6th my Grandma would have turned 91 years old. My Grandma's birthday was always a special day to me. It is the day this world was given the beautiful gift of my Grandma - along with her twin sister! My entire life I have felt like this day was only second to the birth of Jesus Christ. My amazing, wonderful, loving, giving , joyful Grandma came to life on that day! I think I felt more joy on her birthday then I ever felt on mine! Now that day is coming. I knew I wanted to do something for her on that day. I was thinking of baking a carrot cake for her. Maybe take the kids out for Chinese dinner (her favorite!) But none of those things seemed right. Well today I was informed of an ministry tree at our grocery store. These tree has local people in need - most of them elderly people living alone. Grandma was made a widow while she was still in her 40's. She was very poor and spend her life loving us and giving us what we needed - going without for herself many times. On that giving tree there is an elderly lady - Miss. Betty - who's husband just died and what she is asking for most of all is a food basket for Christmas (and every year the gift we got my Grandma was a food basket - things she needed and food she would never buy for herself that she wanted) So for Grandma on her birthday my family will do what we can for a different widow - a lonely and poor elderly lady. This feels right - and sad at the same time. All season I have been walking by all those foods we normally got my Grandma and been sad because there was no one to buy them for. Christmas shopping for Grandma was so much fun! No one else was as fun to get things for as my Grandma (not even my own children were as fun to buy for) I just feel like this is Grandma telling me to help this lady - Grandma always felt so bad for other elderly people and always felt so lucky to have her family around her at the holidays. I only wish I could invite Miss Betty to have Christmas dinner with us.

So that is my rambling sadness note. The last few days have been hard - and I think I have cried more today than I have in a long time. Miss her so much right now. Christmas was her favorite time of the year!


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It was pretty uneventful. I had a sick child but I did run to the store and fill a box with food and a gift card. The kids and I wished her happy birthday. Just a sad day. It feels like she is 91 now. That probably sounds nuts! Actually I had the thought that she will spending her birthday with my Grandpa and Aunt Mary- and that someone made it seem better. Like they are taking care of her now.

Thank you though for checking in - I really appreciate it

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