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New Meaning Of Christmas

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To all the Loved Ones on HOV,

The Meaning of Christmas! I know to a lot of people it can mean a lot of different things, maybe just another holiday to be alone in sorrow. It will be for many of us I know that. For other people outside looking in, it is a day for families to come together and celebrate, exchange gifts, eat to much, drink eggnog, kiss under the missal toe. A lot of people, go to church, one day out of the year. A lot of people are alone and depressed, this time of year, maybe they have no one. The homeless just try to survive one more day, one more night. For each and everyone of us Christmas can and does have a different meaning, even before, the passing of our loved ones.

Now, Christmas, has the same meaning for me. What Pauline and I always celebrated was the Birth of Christ. This year it brings me a new and different meaning that I will never escape from, I knew that the morning I woke up, well really did not sleep much at all, but that morning I knew in my heart and mind and soul, Dwayne, this is the day, February, 25, 2011. I knew Pauline would pass some time before that day was over. Her best friend Donna, stopped in for a couple minutes on her way to work, her father dropped by for about 1/2 hour, it was hard for him, it was to close to Pauline's mother, who had passed 16 years before, her brother came by, the Hospice nurse, she said 3-4 days, and last was Pauline only other friend, that did not drop her. I hate to say but yes, at 2:30 PM she passed.

Now I do not write this out of sadness, but I knew what I know. When no one else did.

This year I will celebrate the birth of Christ, and the Life of my wife Pauline. Not her death, I know where she is at now.

And no this is not a sermon, it is how the passing of my loved one has changed my life, and my meaning of Christmas forever.

God Bless, I wish you all a MERRY CHRISTMAS


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Dwayne, at a time when so many are hurting because they have no one or because they lost their loved one, it is good that you can attribute a positive slant to Christmas Day. It takes a lot of focus and positive determination to do that.

There are many that don't feel like putting up a Christmas tree, listening to Christmas music, or going shopping...or even attending a church service as they have to do so without their loved one. I know I have felt like that many a time, since this will be my seventh Christmas without George, but I have pushed through and forced myself to because of my kids, even though they're grown. But I had my melt down come Easter that first year, it'd been 9 1/2 months, close to your timeline right now, and I'd made it through all of the holidays and felt I just couldn't do another one, so I didn't. That's okay too.

I've always felt the meaning of Christmas was Christ's birth. I know some here don't believe the same way, and that's their choice too, but I think whether we ascribe certain spiritual belief to the day or not, it's still tough because in our culture we've come to celebrate it with family, and no matter how we slice it, that family member is gone from us. I've gotten through it the same way you talk about, by trying to remember his life rather than his death, and what we had rather than what I lost. I think it helps to try something new to get through the day...for me that has been the simple act of hanging his stocking, even with him gone, and writing something to him and putting in it...other family members are free to do likewise. We will each find our own way to get through this day.

It might be good for others to share how they have gotten through it, those who have already been through this. Any suggestions, anyone?

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Dear Kay,

Thank you for your kind words. That is what I was thing to do is the date for me has a new meaning, and I choose to celebrate Pauline's life, not her passing. I know how hard it is to move forwards in life, but forwards we must move. This life we have is a gift, as well as our loved one was to us, was a gift. What a better day to remember the best gift of our life than on Christmas Day.

God Bless


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