ustwo Posted October 13, 2005 Report Share Posted October 13, 2005 Tears, pictures, memories, and the love in my heart....that's all that left. Why are some days so cruel? It's like a sick joke. Days that are a little peaceful followed by the DARK days...the days I just don't feel like breathing. I attended a monthly church "generic" birthday party yesterday. Forced myself to get out only to feel like turning around and running once I got there. Here are 25 widows. All quite a bit further along in age than I am. I watched them smile and laugh enjoying their time together and all I could do is wonder how...how have they survived for years without their husbands..how have they been able to reach a place of peace where they can smile and laugh. All I could think is I hope I don't have that many years ahead to be apart from Gene. I watch the world from inside where the pain is...and I don't really want any part of it now. My world is gone. So sorry everyone...it's a day of silent screams. I know we all are hurting. A friend of mine who introduced Gene and I years ago and also lost her husband 14 years ago was honest with me yesterday. I told her I don't know what happy is anymore and she said I'll never be happy but I would learn to enjoy things around me again. And she reminded me Gene and I have children and grandchildren. Maybe I'm left behind to make sure these little grandchildren know how wonderful a man Gene was..how much he loved them.I miss you Gene!Always!Always Gene! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 13, 2005 Report Share Posted October 13, 2005 I am sorry, I know it's hard. I try so hard, I made the decision to choose to live, and I try to, but there are always reminders that send me reeling in pain. It doesn't stop. I've accepted that. I try to find good where there is and accept the pain and the loss, it's all I can do. I love you and care about you and wish there was something I could say to take away the hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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