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The Back And Forth Of It All

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I want to thank everyone for their words and advice. I am not going crazy, and I can see that now. It is the grief that has me feeling like I am. As far as Cindy, I have tried to repeatedly to be there as a comfort, but she sent me yet another email where she blamed me again for being insensative and actually quoted something Dragon had told me. Well that was the end of my patience. I let her know she had no right, no was I in any way inclined to here her paraphrase Dragons words. They were from him, not her. I also let her know I was not her personal whipping post, as well as asking her how the hell she could judge someones grief? She complains she has no friends, no one in her life..I let her know there may be a correlation when she acts in such a hatred manner. As far as returning itmes that I had there and I had given Dragon, I told her to keep them, dispose of them, or whatever she wanted to do. I have no need for them. As harsh as I was with her, I still left the door open for her to contact me in the end if she needed anything, even if I were the last person on earth she would ask. She replied by blocking me, and her last words were no one could love you..not even your parents. So is life...I feel sorry for her. I only told her the truth she needed to know. Her continually guilt trip about my lack of being present in the relationship just kills me...It was her doing that kept me from Dragon and a sucessful relationship in the first place. My only regret is that we could not be there for one another in the end. But you cannot force people to do what they do not want to do. I have this loss now to deal with...sigh....I hope it gets better some time soon. Thank you everyone for your support. It has gotten me through my darkest hours....


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You've certainly tried to leave the doors open for her and reach out to her, but it's not surprising that she resists...even in family it's common. As people grieve, they all do so in their own way and it's not uncommon for perspective to be clouded and murky when it's so fresh...often people strike out at those closest in their pain. All you can do is leave her to find her own way.

As for her saying hateful things to you and blocking you, just don't accept it (in your mind), let go of it and continue on your way. It's amazing how strong we can be when we have to...even when we don't feel like it.

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Dear Kim.

You are a much better person than she will ever be. I think she knows that, and that is why she has this big guilt trip over you. But it is not you, it is all her. Please do not worry yourself over her, take care of yourself, WE are all HERE for anytime you need to talk about anything.

Take Care,

God Bless


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