The Loss Of 3 And More

[credu2007]

Im hurting so much right now that I feel like I cant breathe. The last seven months have been so hard and Im trying to figure out when things are going to get better. A week ago I had to put my sons kitten (Hercules) to sleep because he had an internal diease and there was nothing the vet or I could do for him. The week before that, I had to put my cat, Otis, to sleep because he was 12 to 13 years old and wasnt able to control his bowel movements any more. Also back in May 2011 I had to put my best friend and companion, Mugsy, to sleep. She was also old and was starting to deteriate. It was sad watching each pet suffer but I knew they would be better off and happy if I just let them go. The topping to this was losing my mom at the end of May. I sit here and hurt so much that at times it feels hard to breathe. I try to keep myself busy so I don't think of the past 7 months but at night I cant avoid it. I am a very happy, careing, considerate, honest, friendly person. Tonight I realized that I am drowning in depression. I am trying so hard to stay afloat. I don't understand why I have to hurt so much. Losing Mugsy wasn't easy but knowing she was old and her health was failing, I knew what had to be done. Than losing my mom.....that hurt the most but I was coping. But with the last two weeks, having to put my cat to sleep and my sons kitten to sleep.....that just went over the top. Im the one with the big heart, the one who always wants to be there for everyone. Friends and family want to help me but I don't know how they can help me. They are being there for me when I need someone to talk to. They are being there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on. They are being there for me when I just need to sit in silence. Time is what I need. It is overwhelming to deal with so many losses but there is nothing more anyone can do. I wish someone could just take the hurt away and make me happy again. All i want right now is to find happiness is something.....

[kayc]

It's no wonder you're hurting so much! I'm so sorry about your mom and your pets...you've just had way too many losses in such a short time. I think you hit the nail on the head though when you said you just want to find happiness in something.

Have you considered getting another pet? You've already used up your bad luck, you're surely do for a long and happy life with one now! I know one doesn't replace another, but they do manage to worm their way into your heart and form their own spot in your life. Give it some thought...someone with your heart has a lot to give and Lord knows there's enough animals out there waiting for a home.

My Lucky died the same week my husband left in Nov. '08...that was a very bleak time for me. Finally, in Feb. '09 I adopted Arlie, a happy energetic puppy that now weighs over 100 lbs. He has been my life ever since. His smile and interaction captured my heart! Right now I'm out of work and going to lose my home, I'm too young to retire but too old for most people to want to hire...if it weren't for my furry companion, I'd probably lose it.

I hope you find what brings you true happiness, we all need some measure of it.

[Miss Ngu]

Hi creedu2007 - you have been through so much! I don't know the right words to console you, but, please know my heart goes out to you. I am happy to see that you have people in your life that love and support you. You are luckier than you realize in this area, as some of us don't have many people like that in our lives, and some of the ones we had seem to have changed or disappeared throughout this process. I agree, no one can really help, and what would we ask them to do for us to take this pain away anyway? It seems grieving is a painful and lonely process, as I've learned from others' responses on this website --it also is like a roller-coaster ride. This uncomfortableness is a nasty normal right now. I hope that you don't let your thoughts get too negative -- and mostly, that you are as gentle with yourself as possible during such a difficult time. Wishing you some peace and happiness.