Turquoisepony Posted October 18, 2005 Report Share Posted October 18, 2005 June 20, 2005, my heart, soul & being was shattered into millions of fragments. Michael's death was a giant cannonball that slammed into my brain and stomach. I frantically swept up crumbled bits & pieces of what was left of me. Tried to put me back together EXACTLY as I was before Michael died. Nothing fit quite right. As I reassemble me, it becomes apparent some pieces will never fit so I am learning to create new pieces to fill the voids. Piece by piece, I will reenter the world. The very same world I have quarantined myself from. Rather than stay in my limbo of chronic mourning, it became necessary for me to face the choices in my new existence: to die because Michael died, to live crippled because I no longer have my other half to complete me, or to forge, out of pain and memory, new adaptations for the life that will be created as I move forward in my quest to become whole. Through mourning, I let Michael go from this earthly plane and have taken him into my inner world. Through mourning, I will come to accept the difficult changes this life altering loss has commanded. I am so filled with humble gratitude for all of the spiritual growth and the emerging of my own identity. I would forego it all to have my darling Michael at my side again. Alas, that I cannot choose!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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