When The Unexpected Happens

[KAH]

I lost my father three years ago and I didn't have any friends to relate to about it. Now that years have passed there have only been a few people who have experienced the same thing but no one really close to me. This past October my boyfriends father and his girlfriend passed away suddenly to a freak accident. They still have not found his fathers body. He has no closure and sometimes opens up to me but mostly keeps it inside. I can relate in some aspects but our grieving is different. Can anyone else relate to what my boyfriend is going through?

[MartyT]

Dear one, I'm so sorry for all the losses you've endured, and I appreciate your concern for your boyfriend as well. His is yet another example of the sort of complicated grief I mentioned in an earlier post known as Ambiguous Loss, because his dad's death is so uncertain: he is physically absent and presumed dead, but still psychologically present since his body has not yet been found and there is no tangible proof of his death.

You might find the posts in this thread helpful, as well, and I hope you'll follow some of the links you'll find there: Help My Boyfriend Deal with the Loss of His Son