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Only Sister Died Suddenly


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My only sister died in her sleep on Monday 1/16 of an unexpected heart attack. My best friend came over to tell me. I just stared at her because I didn't understand what she was saying. OMG, how am I going to live without my sister? I have had to plan the funeral, write the obituary, talk to the soloist, pick out her casket without any help and I have never even BEEN to a damn funeral. Oh God I can't stand it. Her 3 children come in tonight and our brother comes in this afternoon. I don't even think I can get thru the funeral which is this coming Monday. I don't even want to see her kids much less talk to them because they are all grown-up little shits. The coroner told me that my sister died of something they call a "widow maker" because there are no symptoms and, thank God, no pain. She just took a shower, got into bed, went to sleep and woke up in Heaven. I want to go to her now and I am counting the days until I can. I can't live without her, I can't. I'm so tired, I wish I could just go to bed, go to sleep and wake up in Heaven. How do I live without her, how???????????

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I just read your post. I am so sorry you lost your only sister. I understand how hard it is. Believe me! I lost my big Brother in 2010. There is a shock on you now, naturally. You are just going through normal human emotions of losing a close member of your family. But there is goodness in this, you just have to be open to it. She passed peacefully and in the most beautiful way. (We should all be so lucky!!)You are a strong woman and will get through this. I don't know how old you are or who you have in your life to lean on, but in my experience, God is the BEST place to start!! He never puts more on us than we can handle. Please believe that! Press through this and stay above water. The shock of losing her will eventually lessen with time and you will start to recover and heal. We all go through this. At one time or another, we all do. You are not alone. MAke a list of the things you need to do. MAke your sister proud of you and handle everything with dignity and grace. Peace be with you honey. xo

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  • 11 months later...

I lost my only sister on Oct. 24, 2012. She suffered greatly due to lung cancer and other disturbing events that led to her passing. I was not able to say goodbye and other things things that I needed to tell her. I can't delete her phone number from my cell phone yet, but I can say that it has gotten easier. I was crying every day for a month and then I stopped. Now, I cry on and off, but I can focus on other things in my life. I have turned to the Church to find answers to troubling questions and thoughts and it was helpful. I continue to turn to the Church now since this painful event and do find solace in having an organization to turn to.

Although, I yet have to find an answer to the question, How do I live my life without her in it? I know that I just don't want to exist, My life is not my own now, I live for her and I and I carry her heart and memory with me wherever I go. As I go forward living for her and I now, I have to make sure I'm present-minded to truly experience life. I also have to approach others with kindness the way she did when she was alive. That's the purpose of my life.

To those that have lost the only sibling, I feel your pain - you are not alone. Know that this painful event will become part of your larger past and it will get easier. I am sorry for your loss.

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I haven't been in this section because this just scares me to death. I have four sisters and a brother and we are a very cohesive unit. We had an alcoholic dad and a mentally ill mom that abused us, so we were all each other had and very close. Now that we're older, it is hard to watch them aging. 2 1/2 years ago I came very close to losing two of them, but they pulled through. This week my sister Peggy suffered a fall and broke her arm in three places. She can't get out of a chair or off the toilet by herself. I thank God she has a husband to help her.

I can only imagine the pain and the loss you must be feeling. I used to joke "husbands may come and go but sisters are forever" because I didn't have very good luck in that department. The one husband that treated me well and loved me, died unexpectedly. My sisters have always been there, no matter what came along in life. Here you are facing loss of a sister, and I can't imagine the hole that leaves. I am so sorry and I am glad you have some faith to get you through. My one consolation with losing my husband is that we will be together again. That sustains me and without it the loss would seem unbearable. We can't change what comes our way, only how we choose to handle it. God be with you this day as you're missing her...

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I lost my brother suddenly in a horrific car crash on August 24, 2012. It 's been a nightmare. My sisters are grieving, he was our baby brother. My 84 year old widowed mother is stunned and angry. When my father died, it was sad, but you know you are likely to survive your parents. You expect that your siblings will always be in your life. I just can't believe I'll never see him again.

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