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Fallin' Can There Be A Blessing In This Whole Mess?

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If this short story helps you or can help others, please pass the link on below.


Fallin’ is a many splendored thing.

I still remember the first time I saw Teri. She was in a room that spanned the mens/women’s dorms. She was sitting on the window sill with her feet on the heat register. In what is an impossible coincidence, the picture that Debbie sent with me jumping? I believe the window to the left of me in the pic was exactly where she was sitting at that first encounter.

As soon as I saw her, I said to myself, I’m going to get to know her.

Fallin’ in Love at First Sight?

I don’t remember ever feeling that way before or after, well except for Charlize Theron as Keanu Reaves wife in “The Devils Advocate”, that could’ve been Love at First Sight too, but good thing I didn’t start dating Charlize because later she did Monster, where she played a serial killer (Shudder) and I became a nobody. Those Hollywood marriages never pan out anyway.

There was no way to know that our next chance meeting would happen because someone pulled the fire alarm, and everybody went to the student community center or some other room that sounds like a communist utopia, where JoAnne and Teri saw me eating Peanut M and M’s and drinking grape pop and thought it looked like a great combination. I was thinking Teri and I looked like a great combination. The only other combination that was better? That was when somebody stuck their chocolate bar in somebody’s peanut butter or the other way around, the debate rages on.

The odds were against us from the beginning. I hated school, was terrible at studying and moved back to the cities. Teri stayed in Duluth, but we hung in there. Fall in love we did. Fell head over heels.

Then we just got through the 3 stages of marital bliss.

Teri did wonderful things for me every day for years, but there are three things I did for her that equaled everything she did.(yeah, right)

The first stage, 15 years ago, where I got the guys operation You know, the one where you find a new purpose for 13 bags of frozen peas? I could always crack Teri up with this one, because as I was laying there, I smelled something burning, then looked up and realized it was me!

Then the next stage of marital bliss, the 10 years since I’ve had to go to the store to buy anything labeled “Supers” or “For Heavy Days”.

Finally, the last stage, the last two years where I didn’t have to go to the store to figure out what saline solution to buy or other gross eyeball things that I don’t want to think about.

And by the way, what’s up with cotton balls anyway? I can’t remember ever using cotton balls. They’ve always been here, there’s still a bag, but unless I feel like coloring the Easter Bunny for my grocery stores contest and need a puffy ball for a tail, I think they may go bad.

Then about the same time, 2 years ago, came an all new meaning for the phrase “terrorist cells”. You might be thinking of 9/11, but these terrorist cancer cells went rogue on Teri’s leg. They decided to wear masks, make videos, run through obstacle courses and make a weapon of mass destruction. Then exploding said weapon, with the blast radius of about 1600 miles, hurting all kinds of innocent people.

I wish I could have negotiated with these terrorist cells of cancer. I would say, C’mon guys, you realize if you succeed, you’ll just kill yourself? But NOOOOO, they had to do it their way.

It looks like a very long 20 years ahead for me. But there are a couple of bright spots.

They say that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Hmmmmmm that means the other 50% end in death!

Why is that a bright spot? Well when it comes to Fallin’ I got the chance to Fall in Love, and a blessing in the wake of tragedy, an amazing twist, I never had to fall out of love.


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I was reading your blog, have never thought of it.... I never had to fall out of love......shouldnt be reading this at work, for now thw waterworks are flowing......Thanks so much for putting this in a different perspective! Dave

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This is completely beautiful.

I think Deric & I fell in love at first sight.

I was 15 and he was 17. I was the hostess with a flirty personality and he was the new guy. A rookie teenage busboy like the others. But the first time we glanced over at each other just was something else. Either way, he broke my heart, shred it to pieces, but the love is always there.

Like I told him at his casket, "You stole my heart & I never want it back."

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With George and I it was instant connection...little did I know I would marry him someday, I'd written a letter to the editor and he'd responded...I felt his heart and we could relate/communicate with each other. I was going through a messy separation and the year following, a divorce. We became best friends, I don't think there was a moment where I suddenly knew, this has turned to love, it just evolved naturally.

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I felt compelled to write after I spent yesterday afternoon reading your blog about the days and struggles of your wife's cancer. I enjoyed your writings and you have a gift. I am so sorry for your loss for you and your family. I also noticed that you had a Caring Bridge site. I had not been back to my husband's site since his death in April. I made my way back to it yesterday and I had a tearful afternoon reading the struggles and small triumphs to the end. What amazed me the most, we always tried to find some positives to report if only a minute particle. My husband died April 12, 2011. There are some similiarities in our stories. We thought we had the throat cancer beat only to find out 3 months later it was back in his sinuses. He fought long and hard because that was our pact, never to give up. He was in hospice for 4 days and also left this earthly place when only our son and his girlfriend were in the room. All family memebers were here but only our son and daughter in law were in the room with him. They had just flew in and I believe he was holding on until they arrived. Our son also had a wedding date planned in July. The doctors talked to my husband and me about moving up the date but we did not feel like it was ours to move so we did not mention it to our son. In retrospect, I wished we would have had that conversation with my son. They were married in July with my husband there in spirit only. It was one of the hardest things I had to do... sit in that church pew alone without my husband beside me, trying to be so happy and full of life for our son and the beginning of their new life together yet where was my other half to celebrate this event.

One of many times in the last nine months that I have learned to go through the motions.

Steve, thank you for your blogs and your writings, you are an exceptional story teller and let it be your passion and healing during the months to come. Blessings to you and your family.


Edited by MartyT
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