kayc Posted April 20, 2012 Report Share Posted April 20, 2012 Mary (Queeniemary), Congratulations on stopping smoking! You should feel so proud of yourself! As I posted in "Loss of Love Relationship" (update on XH John) he now has throat cancer, he refused to quit smoking when he developed a cough years ago, now is paying for it...the time to quit is before getting symptoms! You say you've outlived many loved ones, yet you are still so young, and great grandchildren too! I turn 60 this year and don't even have grandchildren yet! I'm sure your choc. creations will turn out just fine, and I hope your fundraiser is explosive in results! Let us know... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted April 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 21, 2012 Dear friends, I got the letter today officially appointing me to the Visiting Committee for the Gastrointestinal Cancer Center at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute for a three year term. I hope they know what they are doing. Yesterday I built the flower baskets for the deck. Today, I mowed and pruned and deadheaded flowers. I also put out the hummingbird feeders. That may be jumping the gun by a few days, but if someone flies through early they'll need a boost. Today was also transplant day for the tomatoes, eggplant and peppers. They are in the portable greenhouse for their first night outdoors. I guess I had better get the beds prepared soon. Congrats to Mary on her non-smoking campaign and the great grandchild on the way. And Kay, I love the deer. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwaynecg Posted April 21, 2012 Report Share Posted April 21, 2012 Hi Everyone, I have had positives all week long. On Monday, I was up at 3:30, drove to Harwich on the Cape to meet with my supervisor about my performance report on my Internship. I took her, ( Laura, the supervisor ), a real nice Jade plant that I had started years ago, from Pauline's Bosnia Jade tree. I trim it every year to keep the nice shape. I had rooted 3 cuttings about 7 years ago or more and now they are all over 12" tall and around 10" to 12" in diameter. She loved it. It brought tears to her eyes. She told me all the blood specimens that I had drawn, every tube of blood, passed the QA test, which means not only was the blood drawn right and not to fast or to slow, but every tube was also inverted correctly to mix the additive in each tube. She told me it was very rare that an intern would have a 100% success rate right from the start. On Monday after I got home from the Cape, a friend of Pauline's, who's husband passed away about 4 month ago, asked if I could help her clean her kitchen cabinets, so I did that for her. On Tuesday and Wednesday I went up to Greg and Donna's and help Greg, do a lot of planting in the yard, flowers, bushes and blueberry bushes. Thursday and Friday for about 4 hours each day I went up to Pauline's Dad's house and painted his garage door, and the east gable end of the his house. I will help him stain his deck next Friday or Saturday if the weather is good. I have all my home work all done for school, I will have 2 test on Monday when I return, back to school. Mary Congratulations on quitting smoking. God Bless Dwayne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted April 21, 2012 Report Share Posted April 21, 2012 Kay, I also loved the deer picture. Harry, congratulations on the appointment, and I think they know exactly what they are doing! Dewayne, you are such a good neighbor and friend, you help so many people, they are so lucky to have you. Congratulations on the remarkable score! Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 21, 2012 Report Share Posted April 21, 2012 Harry, What an accomplishment! And you've gotten so much done at home too! I wasn't feeling well yesterday, just no energy, so I rested, but today I'd like to get out in the yard and pick up limbs, there's enough there it ought to wear me out! Dwayne, Congratulations on your blood draws, it seems you were cut out for this! And all of the work you've been doing for everyone else, gosh, I wish you lived here! LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted April 21, 2012 Report Share Posted April 21, 2012 Mary....congratulations on the smoking. You will feel so much better without them. I quit years ago....difficult...and never looked back...you will do the same. Harry...congratulations on your appointment. They made a wise choice!!!! The mountains are out my window....they are lovely. At first they made me weep as our CO home had a mountain view right in our faces...so now it is bittersweet. It is also HOT here....it did not cool off last night as I thought it would. Today I meet a friend I have been emailing with for a long time and have never met. The friend I am with and this new friend are all women who have lost their husbands in the last 4 years...I am in understanding company as are they. Peace, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne E Posted April 21, 2012 Report Share Posted April 21, 2012 Mary (Queeniemary), CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! Could not be prouder of you and your huge effort. I imagine that stopping smoking is such a hard thing to do! You certainly want to be able to enjoy all those Grands! You Lucky Duck!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 21, 2012 Report Share Posted April 21, 2012 Mary, I am glad you are enjoying your trip, and getting to meet someone you feel you've already come to know. Enjoy yourself! My positive today: It is beautiful weather...I got up early and spent the morning picking up branches in the yard from the winter's storms, with my dog playing beside me. I got my hanging flowers all put in their pots (I have a 30 1/2' patio that I love) and hummingbird feeder out. Now I'm going to enjoy the fruits of my labor and maybe take Arlie to the park this afternoon for a walk on the trails. Enjoy the sunshine! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted April 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 25, 2012 Dear Friends, The Program in Neuroendocrine and Carcinoid Tumors at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute is up and running, as is their new website at http://carcinoid.dfci.harvard.edu/. Go check it out. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne E Posted April 25, 2012 Report Share Posted April 25, 2012 Here's my positive today. I was driving the scenic route to Florence, CO to go to Bible Study this morning. About half way there, you can look down into the valley and see a beautiful green field full of white goats. The babies are no long babies but rather unruly young ones. I slowed down to have a look at them, looked at the place on the car where the speed indicator is located just in time to see the blue gas pump light flash on. My first though was...On, my gosh, Dick will kill me!!!!! He never approved of me leaving town without a full tank of gas, no matter how short the trip was. Then I thought, you know what, this would be a lovely place to have to sit and wait for Richard to come and bring me gas. Just imagine taking the time to sit and watch the goats on a lovely Spring morning! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 25, 2012 Report Share Posted April 25, 2012 Last night I drove home in a huge storm, thunder and lightening and hail and rain...we got 1 inch in 15 minutes! Hail reached golf-tennis ball size but fortunately melted on the way down. The hail that did reach my car was pea sized. I reached home and my dog gave me a sob story about being gone when he was so scared. I've never witness so much thunder and lightening nor seen it rain so hard. Today, on the other hand, the weather was beautiful, absolutely perfect. Arlie and I walked the trails at the park and thoroughly enjoyed the afternoon. What beauty! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosel Posted April 27, 2012 Report Share Posted April 27, 2012 I went to a grief support group on Wednesday afternoon. Quite a few people there. Seemed as though most of them had belonged quite awhile. Was a very tight-knit group. Felt like an outsider. One positive I took away from the meeting was someone mentioned "a to do list." One lady who had been there awhile said she did not have "a to do list" but an accomplishment list. Whenever she finished something she would write it down with a smiley face beside it. That seemed to be a more positive way to do things; you do not feel defeated by not getting projects done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 27, 2012 Report Share Posted April 27, 2012 To me the purpose behind a "to do" list (which I have always lived by since I was born highly organized) is so you don't forget to do something...also, there is a sense of accomplishment as you cross them off. And yes, I'll admit it, I've added things after I did them, just for the satisfaction of crossing them off. And yes I know that's anal! An accomplishment list is a great idea! Probably with time you will feel more like you belong. When anyone has been in a group for a while, esp. one where you go through so much together, you get close. It's hard to break through that the first time, but I hope they were welcoming to you. If you don't feel welcome, I'd keep looking for another group and let them know why you aren't coming back...it could be they just aren't aware of how they're coming across. But I would still go a couple more times to make sure it wasn't just me or an "off night"...we aren't all at our best at all times. I'm sorry you were disappointed, you are always welcome here, and you're ALREADY "one of us!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted April 29, 2012 Report Share Posted April 29, 2012 Cosel, I understand your feeling like an "outsider" at your first meeting of the grief group. That always happens to me in a new situation, as I am not a person that is very outgoing. When I joined the "Silver Sneakers Seated Aerobics" in January, the first time I went, I was not sure I would go back...everyone knew each other, they knew which tools (weights, a ball and tubes) they needed for the class. I felt awkward. But strangely enough (or not) in a couple of more classes, I was very comfortable, and I knew what to do, and did not feel like an outsider anymore. I LOVE the classes and the Tai Chi classes also. My big positive for the weekend is I am still NOT smoking, and honestly not missing it much. Last night was my friend Dana's birthday party, we held it at Tom weekend cabin on the mountain. Tom and I and our young friend Jamie, put most of the food together, and several of the musicians amoung the group brought guitars, we had a lot of music and fun.(and a little wine and beer) Several in the group smoke, and although I enjoyed the smell of the smoke on the deck, I was not tempted to smoke....so that was a big test for me!! I am going into my 3rd week (Thursday will be 3 weeks). Yay for me..... The bittersweet part of the night is that Mike would have loved the evening.....all three of us that have lost spouses in our group were there, Dana, Tom and me......all the people in the group knew our spouses, and so it was bittersweet for us all, we missed the missing. (not sure that last made sense, hope so) Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted April 29, 2012 Report Share Posted April 29, 2012 Mary, dear, Is there anything more powerful than the presence of an absence, when the ones who are missing are so dearly loved? Your last statement makes perfect sense to all of us, I'm sure ♥ ~ and as you near your third week of not smoking (an important milestone!) you deserve a standing ovation! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted April 29, 2012 Report Share Posted April 29, 2012 Mary, I totally understand missing the missing...totally. I want to congratulate you on the cigarettes...you are amazing...to be in a group who are smoking and not be tempted. I quit about 35 years ago and have never been tempted but it still seems like a challenge. Congratulations!! Mary mfh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 29, 2012 Report Share Posted April 29, 2012 Mary (QueenMary), I applaud your not smoking, it is a huge feat! I understand your "missing the missing", they will always be missed...in our hearts and minds forever! Several have asked me if I miss/still love my XH John. No, I cannot, for he wasn't real, so neither are our memories. I do miss my kids' dad though, we were married 23 years though and he's a good man, we were a family, so it is different. And I will always miss George, the love of my life, for he and I had a true connection and really "got each other", in a way no one else ever has. I envy some of you who got to spend 40 years with your soulmate, for I was only married to mine for 3 years 8 months. But we made up for in quality what we lacked in time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted May 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 2, 2012 Dear friends, It's been busy--and getting busier. But most of the work has been good. Relay has the second highest percentage growth to this point in New England. We have raised about $50K, have over 900 signed up online, and have 97 teams--five more than we had at the end of last year. And we still have almost two months to go before the event. I went to a leadership conference for Dana-Farber Cancer Institute last weekend, Forty years one child in six who showed up with the most common form of childhood leukemia survived the experience. Now, 90 percent do. My niece starts rotations for third year medical school next week. She'll have Jane's car to get her back and forth to the hospital she will work in. I discovered I can still actively help move a couch down four flights of stairs and then up three flights of stairs at he other end. May 11 I visit Dana-Farber to visit the new NET/CS lab that is doing research on the cancer that killed my wife. We are putting up posters tomorrow we designed for the Pasta Supper and the Yard Sale we are doing for our Walking with Jane Relay for Life team. And our website crossed 9000 views over the weekend. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
widower Posted May 2, 2012 Report Share Posted May 2, 2012 Congrats all around Harry! Today I'm just settling for nice weather. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 Beautiful weather here today although a bit cool. Went to lunch with a friend, then I came down sick this afternoon, hoping it doesn't last... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted May 4, 2012 Report Share Posted May 4, 2012 Days are really warming up here in Arkansas. Yesterday was three weeks since I stopped smoking....amazingly, I am not even craving one. This is my big positive. Also, our theatre group opens tomorrow night with "Midsummer Night's Dream", it is such a funny Shakespeare play, and our Puck is an 11 year old boy, who is amazing. I am pulling the curtain for this one. Normally I am not a big Shakespeare fan, but this is so funny, and I think it is going to be really good. Harry, you have so many great things going...congrats on the over 9000 views on the website. Hope you are all right Kay. Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne E Posted May 4, 2012 Report Share Posted May 4, 2012 CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! Three weeks! That's a HUGE Deal! Very proud of you! Your theatre group production sounds like lots of fun! Good Luck with your curtain pulling! What an important job! Just think, the play can't go on if you don't pay attention! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted May 5, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 5, 2012 Dear Mary and friends, I love MSND. It is my all-time favorite Shakespeare comedy--in fact my all time favorite comedy, period. Wish I could be there for yours. And congrats on the smoking cessation success. I presented two sessions at a scholastic journalism conference today. Afterwards a kid came up to me and told me journalism had not really been her thing--but my passion for it had changed her mind--and now she wants to pursue it as a career. You just never know. I had a planning meeting tonight for our drawings for our Relay team. It went very well as we hashed out a couple other issues as well. Twenty miles to walk on Sunday for the Walk for Hunger. They say the weather will be good. We'll see. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne E Posted May 10, 2012 Report Share Posted May 10, 2012 Wish you all were here in my living room, sharing a cup of coffee/tea, watching the beautiful bright yellow Lesser Goldfinches and fiery red House Finches on the bird feeders. There are several beautiful Robins hopping around on the ground, but you have to give up out of the chair to look at them. All of this is framed against a lovely blue sky with a few puffy white clouds floating by. Spring in South Central Colorado is beautiful this morning. Have put the grape jelly in the Oriole feeder and am waiting to see if they show up and chase the finches away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 10, 2012 Report Share Posted May 10, 2012 It is a beautiful day here. I got faster internet installed yesterday, am enjoying that. Tonight I take my mom out to dinner...it'll be hard, her mind is gone, yet still the courts don't give us any jurisdiction. She makes no sense and can't pay her bills and won't let us help her. It should prove challenging tonight but I'll get through it. I think this is harder than losing one to death, to watch their mind go. Not that hers was ever good, she's always been mentally ill, she just refuses medical evaluations so no one can put their prognosis on her, but now with dementia and escalating paranoia, it's really bad. Ahh well, I'll get to come home to my dog and beautiful nature... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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