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Looking For The Positives

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I was out on errands today and got to wondering why people get all weird sometimes when you want to share with them.  I bought a stapler and it came with a staple remover a woman next to me was looking for but they were sold out.  I said she could have the one with mine.  Ii practically had to talk her into it.  I’ve had it happen with coupons for money off large grocery bills as I never spend the $50 minimum.  Not everyone, some are delighted.  But more turn it down.  I’ve had people give me coupons and I think it’s nice.  Just babbling as I don’t get it.  Someone turns down a $5 off coupon when they have a cart of groceries that will be well over $100.  Are so many distrustful of others?  Nothing comes without a price?  I’m some weird food store stalker?  

On time, Year’s ago, I was behind a guy at a store and he didn’t have their discount card so I said use mine.  To my surprise,m in the Sunday paper under Rants and Raves he had called it in.  I thought he was buying flowers for his girlfriend and it turned out is was for his mothers grave.  It wasn’t the money, it was that he thought someone helping someone was cool.  

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I love your Winnie the Pooh ponderance.  I've found the same to be true with regards to how people respond to my Arlie's cancer, I really can't handle their judgment or suggestions, I'm still processing it all.  What is it about people that they always want to fix things they can't fix?!

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If you shared it here about Arlie, I must have missed it Kay.  I’m so sorry to hear the news.  I dont know what else to say having been thru it before many times.  My heart is with you.  💖

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Kay, I'm not well up on things, but I didn't know either.  I'm so sorry.  💗

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In my humble opinion, I think people try to “fix” because it scares them, makes them feel uncomfortable or forces them to think about things they don’t want to, or haven’t yet had to face.  Mortality, death, loss.

They want to “fix” so THEY can feel better.

Im not saying this is true in all cases, but I do think it’s true a good deal of the time.

Just my 2 cents.

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Well I wrote off a "friend" over it...he was full of judgment, cold, crossed my boundaries, I'm done.  Not easy when you've known someone 44 years but maybe way past time.  I'm too emotionally fragile right now to deal with his arrogance and judgment.

I'm taking a day at a time with Arlie, it remains to be seen how long we have but every day he's with me and feeling well is a good day.

Brief mention here:
 https://www.griefhealingdiscussiongroups.com/topic/11786-financial-things-that-had-been-getting-better-since-she-died/?tab=comments#comment-146908
 

Posted thread here:

 

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I'm sorry Kay, and you know that is all we can say.  My coworker had no children, was not married, and she was so cute with her "Mopsy" and I would send toys.  Mopsy passed away and my friend was so grieving and came into work.  Our boss, a heartless doctor, told her in so many words to "buck up, it's just  a dog."  Not the least of things I heard him say and I got out of that office as soon as I could.  So did she, very soon afterward.  She told me that her new fur baby loved the last toy I had given Mopsy most of all.  We run into these people often and it makes us think of that old saying "only the good die young."  I have found it best to ignore some people into oblivion as friends, and I don't miss them at all.  Never were really "friends."  My heart to you.  💗

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Kayc,

You did what you had to do.  Arlie is your baby and only you knows what’s best. My prayers that you two have many more good days together.

I completely wrote off my 2 self-absorbed sisters (half sisters actually) after my husband died because of their callous, hurtful and outright cruel judgmental bull crap. I’ll never have anything to do with them again, and I am OK with that. It’s actually one of the few things in my life now that I am OK with.

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I think it must be like getting rid of a drug addiction sometimes when you rid your life of things/people that aggravate you.  If they bother you, if they are not empathetic at all, then they are not needed.  I hate to be cynical............no, actually I don't.  Sometimes that is something about old age I like best.

 

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Marg, you always have a way of making us smile!

Thank you ladies.  I won't miss ex-friend any more than any other baggage we can do without!

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Marg is right.  One good thing about getting older is not caring about being popular anymore.  People either fit with us or they don’t.  Although I am mostly alone, I have given people the boot because I don’t want 'friends' out of desperation.  Creates more voids, but they were voids to begin with.  When I don’t walk away feeling some kind of fulfillment, I just feel pathetic. Tough calls at this age when we aren’t flourishing in the world anymore.

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KayC,

Beautiful boy and a wonderful name Arlie.

I lost my precious Stretch to stage IV Mast Cell cancer. He was a son to me. I can still see him the way he was when I went to the shelter where I adopted him as a puppy. He was in a small pen all by himself. The lady who worked there told me he was the only one left out of a litter of nine. As soon as she told me this I had to have him. There was no way I could leave him there for one more second knowing that he was alone and his mother and all his brothers and sisters had been taken from him.

He was my heart.

He was a beautiful black Lab weighing 110 lbs by the age of four and strong as an Ox.

I loved him so much and I understand how hard it is. My thoughts are with you.

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Johnny, 

That's how it was for us too...Arlie was a rescue and when I saw his picture in the paper, I had to have him!  I called and told them I'd come get him after work.  They gave him to someone else and didn't even call and let me know.  I got over there and the other people never showed up or called.  His smile was infectious!  I wanted him so bad!  They called the other people and they'd changed their mind.  I wasn't taking any chances on them doing that again, so I took him home with me right then.  I later found out they were wrong about his age, weight, health, and he wasn't housebroken.  Never mind, I had my baby.  He's the smartest dog I've ever had and utterly delightful!  My son is right, God had to give him an extra large body to fit all his personality into.  It's been a beautiful journey and I've received more from him than I could ever pay back.  He is my heartsong, my little boy.

He got up to 140 but is at 106 right now.  I don't want him to lose any more weight but alas with his condition, he's likely to do just that.

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I also have a positive.  This weekend I went to my son's and got to see my son and daughter and grandkids (DIL was gone for the weekend so I was able to look after the kids while my son worked on my daughter's car.)  Have to brag on  my son, he's the best brother to his sister! Her car was broken into and her cleaning supplies for her business stolen...He cleaned all the glass out, replaced her window, rotated her tires, replaced her brakes, checked her rotors and calipers, AND installed a stereo and backup camera as a surprise for her! He restores her belief that there really are good people in this world.

My grandson calls me Bocka and even said "I love you" to me, as plain as can be!  He just started talking recently and he is saying everything!  I had the best interaction with him I've ever had.  And of course my granddaughter keeps me hopping, she loves drama, singing, dancing.  I can see her in theater when she's older!

Arlie ate well the three mornings this week, which is a positive.  I've managed to coax him to eat all his food but there will come a day that won't work.  Every day with him is a good day.

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22 hours ago, kayc said:

God had to give him an extra large body to fit all his personality into.

This makes me smile.  Describes Mark to a T. 

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How has everyone been.......sorry to hear about your Dog KayC........Got some surprising news on the home front from my oldest Grandson(military).....I'm going to be a Great Grand Father sometime in the spring.....Otherwise things are going good but the unseasonal rains....feels like West Coast years ago.....Caught granddaughters Rugby match and helped other one move two weeks ago(my sons did the heavy lifting)...it was family get together...rugby pics

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Kevin, love these pictures.  Hope the world is treating you right.  Hope your enjoying your new home.  Hope springs eternal.  (Those children, those eyes, beautiful).

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Great looking family, Kevin and congrats on being a 4th generationar, if there is such a word.

I just watched a movie called ALPHA.  It’s about tribes about 2000 years ago.  A mans son is presumed dead during a hunt and has to make his way home.  He connects with a wolf and it was so fascinating watching them establish trust.  It also led me to see how we now have domesticated dogs.  I highly recommend it for it’s uniqueness.  I liked they did it in the tribes language to fully experience both to not understand each other via words so you could see how the wolf came to know words and the son to read body language.  Won’t be for everyone, just passing it along.

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I saw it too Gwen.  We usually watch good ones twice (sometimes the 2nd time comes kinda new).  Goes along with the age I guess.  

 

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I'd love to see that, Gwen, alas I don't have Netflix as there's no streaming here.  Sounds like my kind of movie, I'd love it.

Kevin, it's clear to see you're cut out to be a grandpa (or great grandpa)!  Being with your grands brings a smile to your face!

I'm enjoying each day I have left with my dog...

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