Near Death Experiences And Grief

[kayc]

Thank you for sharing this. The part that really struck me was "Nothing is past ; nothing is lost
One brief moment and all will be as it was before"

[Suitearia]

I highly recommend the book by Eben Alexander Proof of Heaven. Eben is a neurosurgeoon who was comatose with a very rare form of meningitis for 7 days and had a NDE. I read the book before my husband died then I read it again after he died.

[kevin]

Has anyone here read about near death experiences - or "life beyond life"? Anyone believe in this?

I've been completely immersed in any and all literature that has to do with this kind of thing. Of course it's because it's comforting - since I hope to be with my husband again someday. But also because it lends a sense of meaning and purpose to this life. I've been devouring books on this subject. Two of my closest friends believe that when we die, we die. We just cease to exist - like not being born. I can't discuss this philosophy with them, because it inevitably brings me down. But I know my grandmother had a near death experience - with all the basic elements. It makes me hopeful.

 

Anyone else here (besides Mary (mfh) - I know you're as interested as I am) into this area of science/philosophy?

 

Melinahttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcpxEwHI0ME&feature=youtu.be         This is really good//

[kayc]

I have had near death experiences, one where my heart stopped completely and I had to be brought back, another where they couldn't get a reading on my blood pressure when I donated blood, they "lost me".  I don't really have a preoccupation with afterlife, I believe in it, I believe I'll be with my husband again, and I believe he continues to exist, just in different form than he did here with me.  I believe our love continues, we just have a veil between us, for lack of other ways to put it, but it's there.  I walk in faith, knowing we will have a future together.

[debi.williams]

Hi Kevin, I certainly am. I have bought many books on the subject. I bought a lot after my mum died last year and now I have lost my beloved husband so suddenly, you could say I have a preoccupation with the afterlife. I have had a fair number of experiences, particularly after my mum died, but nothings since my husband died 6 weeks ago which I find distressing, as we both believed in it. I was given a book recently with a non too promising title called '10 things the dead want to tell you' it is surprisingly interesting as it includes some science. I have only just started reading it, but I am hoping for an explanation as to 'how' the author knows all this.

Suitearia, I also read the Alexander book and found it fascinating.I know journalists etc have tried to pick fault with him but I personally found it credible. Healthy skepticism is fine if you are at least able to keep an open mind, but many skeptics just dismiss other's beliefs and experiences. Has anyone else read anything they can recommend?

KayC I am very interested in your experiences and would love to know more. Like you I believe I will see my husband again. If not, what has all that love been for?

[MartyT]

Debi, you asked if anyone else has read anything they can recommend. You might find this article helpful: After-Death Communication: A List of Resources

[kayc]

Debi,

There isn't a lot to tell.  In my first experience (when I donated blood and they "lost me") my kids were there.  They were working frantically on my body.  I was out of my body and could see what they were doing.  I also saw how scared my kids were.  I had a choice. I could go, which was very alluring, or I could stay.  I thought about my husband having to raise our kids by himself and them needing me and I chose to stay.  It was then that I reentered my body and they got a reading on my blood pressure once again.  In the time I was out of body, I'd entered a tunnel with light, I don't know how else to describe it, but I also saw my kids.  It was all so fast, it was like a lot of thoughts were entering my brain all at once.  This was maybe 25 years ago.

 

There was another time when I had a dream and in my dream I died (vehicle accident).  This was as real to me as any experience.  Again, I had a choice and I chose to live.  This was probably about seven or eight years ago.

 

The last time was eight and a half months ago during/following surgery.  I was over anesthetized and my heart stopped during and following surgery, many many times.  The first time, during surgery, they have to give chest compressions to get it going again.  I do remember one of the subsequent time when I felt I had a choice.  It was much like the first time, a tunnel with light, and in my mind I saw my dog and one of my cats and I knew they needed me and would miss me and I couldn't bear the thought of them being without me, and I chose to stay.  It was then that I came back.

 

There is a book written years ago by someone who went through it, "My Glimpse of Eternity" by Betty Maltz http://www.amazon.com/My-Glimpse-Eternity-Betty-Malz/dp/B007CV6A40/ref=sr_1_8?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1442241577&sr=1-8&keywords=a+glimpse+of+eternity

[debi.williams]

Dear Marty, thank you so much for the link to more info. Brilliant as always. I have actually ordered a couple of books

Wow Kayc these are unexplainable - in the 'ordinary' sense - experiences, unless we have spiritual beliefs. I firmly believe that we have an allotted time, probably because it makes sense of why some die so young and others old and when it isn't your time you do have a choice, simple as that. It would certainly explains to me why some really wicked people live until they are old and some of the best don't. Have these experiences given you any comfort in your grief KayC? I ask because, I did get comfort from an event that happened shortly after my mom died, but as yet I cannot say I have had anything really tangible from my husband. 

Connecting your experiences to your husband saying 'no' when you asked him to hang on also makes sense because he knew he had no choice. What do you think?

[kayc]

I hadn't thought about it that way before (his knowing he had no choice), perhaps.  It was puzzling because I knew he'd walk around the world on broken glass to be with me, yet his response felt like he wasn't going to fight to stay with me...yet I also knew that it was so painful, and knowing what I know about after death experiences, I know when you're at that point, it's very alluring.  He wasn't quite there yet or he couldn't have responded, but I think he was extremely close, perhaps even getting death's call.

Unlike some of the others, I don't recall being greeted by a loved one, although in my earliest experience, there were people there, perhaps I hadn't stayed long enough.  (My dad was dead at that point).  In "My Glimpse of Eternity", she was "out" much longer than I believe I was, although I was never told how long the time was.

[debi.williams]

Maybe your loved ones didn't appear Kayc as they knew it wasn't your time and they also knew that for example if your dad appeared it would have been very hard for you not to go to him and therefore it would make your transition back all the harder.

For what it's worth, I have a strong feeling it wasn't the pain that made him 'decide' to leave, although we can't imagine how bad it was. In his last conscious moments on the floor my husband's eyes snapped opened suddenly and he was focused on something on the ceiling, it only last a few seconds but he looked as though he was looking at something and was slightly puzzled but not distressed, then his eyes closed for the last time. Like your beloved  he would have fought tooth ad nail to stay with Max and I.

Maybe your husband 'heard' something. Something that told him to come. When you think about it Kayc (and let's face it I think of nothing else these days) birth is instinctive. A baby (spirit) will come when it is the time to enter the world so maybe death is the same. Your spirit knows when it is time to leave. As I am typing this I feel it strongly about your husband that he wouldn't ever lie to you and he knew through forces unseen that he had to leave.It was his time and he wasn't alone. Phew! I don't want to distress you but I can't tell you how strong the wave is that just came over me as I was writing that.

I have read somewhere that when your spiritual mission on earth is complete then it is your time to leave, your work is done. The spiritual mission is achieving unconditional love. I don't know if this is true but I think we can safely say your husband achieved it.

[kayc]

You're very intuitive, Debi.  I've analyzed this for over ten years and never thought of it quite like that, thanks!

[debi.williams]

I just had a wave Kayc That's all. I hope it helped. 

[Harleyquinn]

Debi- that was an awesome perspective

[debi.williams]

Thank you Harleyquinn I appreciate that. Who knows if it is true, we will when its our turn. I just had a tremendous sense of what to say to KayC like it wasn't really me typing. 

[kayc]

Maybe you have a gift. You'll want to listen and respond to cultivate it. ?

[debi.williams]

It would be wonderful if that was the case Kayc or maybe we are just extra sensitive because of our grief. On the other hand it could have been George trying to reach you. 

[Jonathon]

Love the question melina. Have you listened to the TED podcast? They go in depth on this topic. If you are interested I can send you the link.

 

[debi.williams]

I would love the link Jonathon.

[cami]

A few days after my husband was murdered I heard him yell my name I woke up it was all of a sudden I was asleep at the time it's weird my daughter was leaving for work at the same time .I thought he was trying to tell me something.That has happened at least 3 times it scares me I just want him safe .once I woke up with his blanket covering me the strange thing was I washed it earlier and folded it and placed it on his side at the end of the bed.I believe he's still watching over me.

[debi.williams]

He most certainly is Cami and in the most loving way possible. Don't be scared please. He is simply trying to let you know that his soul has continued and that you will see each other again. I have had some extraordinary experiences, most particularly when mom died, but our son heard his dad say his name when he was fully awake and about to clean his teeth! My husband was big on keeping teeth clean!! 

[kayc]

Sometimes we're scared of what we don't understand...but this is your husband and I think he's trying to comfort you and be there for you, I hope you can let yourself feel cherished.

[cami]

Yes I believe he is watching out for me God also right now at the place I am I pray alot , but I mostly talk to my husband sometimes I wonder if God wants me to depend on him and not on my husband so totally.It's hard my husband has always been their for me. God he has also ,but my father died when I was 4 and now my husband it's not easy to not think he's still their for me and kids.He was a total family man the only man for me that I trust.  

[kayc]

Cami,

God is the one who created the institution of marriage, so I think He understands our interdependence, it was made to be that way.  He also surely understands that when our spouse is ripped from us, it creates so much within us for which there is no name.

[debi.williams]

So true Kay. Only death can part us but that is physical. Nothing severs the silken thread of love xx

[cami]

Do you kayc or debi think God is a jealous  God and may be he only lets us be with the perfect mate for only so long and then he wants us to work on our selves? spiritually , I"ve always thought of my husband first before everyone including God .I'm sorry about that I should have had a balance . I know God is suppose to be first,but  your husband is like part of you the best part that is precious.