Should I Love Again?

[MartyT]

From Grief Digest Magazine, March 14, 2012, by Gabriel Constans:

Should I Love Again?

"My friends keep telling me I have to 'get out more' and 'meet somebody new.'" Jan stated. "Don't they realize that's the last thing on my mind?" Jan's husband of thirty years died two months ago.

"My mother says I should stop thinking about Kathy and live in the present." Jamal said tearfully. "But I can't just turn her off." Jamal's girlfriend, Kathy, died in a car accident on Thanksgiving Day, twelve months earlier.

Steve says, "I'm not sure if this is right or not, but I met this lady and there might be something going on." Steve's partner of fifteen years died after a long illness three months prior to his meeting this woman."When is the right time?" Victoria asks. "How do I let myself get involved with anyone else without comparing him to Frank?" Victoria's husband, Frank, died at age thirty-five, leaving her alone with two small children.

"I haven't gone out on a date in thirty years." Sally proclaimed. "I have no idea where to begin. The thought of it terrifies me." Sally's husband of thirty years died the previous year.

"This woman I've known for a long time asked me out," Paula says. "I'm afraid to get involved again. I'm afraid I'll forget Candace." Paula's longtime friend and mate, Candace, died in her forties after years of battling cancer.

"This may sound strange," Roberta explained. "But whenever I'm making love with Cliff, I wonder if Mark is watching us from somewhere, and I feel guilty." Mark died from a heart attack just two weeks before he and Roberta would have celebrated their thirty-ninth year of marriage.

"I've never loved anyone as much as I did Sylvia." Dale said. "I'll never find that kind of love again." Sylvia and Dale had met when they were in high school. She died in his arms after struggling with lung disease for six years.

When is the right time? How do you know when or if you should get involved with someone again? Is it disrespectful or unacceptable to date, "go out with," "be involved" or "have a thing" for someone else after your loved one has died? What if you never want to be with anyone else again? Read on ...