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I spent this day at work, doing what I have to, went about my day planning in my head what I need to, to take care of some personal business that has come about , that was not in my plans......got home to clean the house, chores etc....while sweeping the floor, it dawned on me...it was 11 months ago that life, was ruined......as , I knew it. I had simply forgot!!! And I am not upset with myself for forgetting, the one thing I have learned and continue to learn.....is to just accept and forgive myself (yeah I know a continued work in progress), but look what I have done in less than 1 yr.....I have simplified my life in some ways redecorated, set limits on family, friends, work and myself.....I have allowed myself to develop a new and wonderfull relationship with Ed...allowed myself to dream and plan for a future, that includes a new career and a new place to live, have allowed myself to get rid of some of the old baggage, that included Mike....friends, or so I thought...and material things.....And this experience has allowed me to gain some new and wonderfull friendships, and experiences, that most importantly has revolved around Ed.....an incredible soul, that has been so nice and caring, for me when i couldnt care for myself....

I really dont recommend others to go out and find a new realtionship so soon after such a loss, but in my situation, this has saved me! There is not a day I dont think about Mike in some way.....but for now.....I feel that I am one of he lucky ones, to know what it feels like to have lost..the one thing my life revolved around....and to have survived..............so far.....to live to try it again.........

Best Wishes! Dave

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I'm happy for you, hope it all works out. For me it didn't and I wish I hadn't gone there, but I know it's different for everyone. I think, honestly, it was too soon for me to think clearly. But Gail found someone and they're happy, so I know it happens to some.

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Hi Dave,

I'm happy to hear you are healing and moving forward...I also have been going forward and healing as I found someone

early only 7 months for me but we both had lost spouses and I think that was big factor...

Brenda lost her husband in 8/2009 and Ruth passed in 02/2010...I don't post much anymore but monitor the site via email notifications

so I can see new posts...we are blessed to have found another special companion and love as not everyone does or wants to, and I have found this relationship is like none other...a bond that's built on total unconditional acceptance of each other and what we have endured...so keep moving ahead my friend in grief yet still allow yourself the space to miss your loved one, as I still have many days of grief waves and longing to hold my Ruth....life is complicated indeed but we try not to analyze everything to much just enjoy each other and our new found love....

NATS

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Dave thanks for reminding me that it is possible. I worked for two and a half years untill I felt capable of taking that step. In my case it is pure joy to know that because I took the time to go through all the emotions alone, very alone, I was able to realize that it was time to put the loss in a safe place and begin to nurture the idea of restructuring a new life. I truly believe it's about finishing the job of grieving loss and then taking that leap of faith that there is someone else to love in the world. I have a feeling that my new life will bring me more joy than my old life because I have gathered so much strength and insight on what is important in life. That is not to say that I will love one man more than another. No one could replace my Mark. But that I am a better person because of my suffering, which will enable me to be a better wife to someone else. So glad you are in a good place.

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