Idea On How To Battle Depression

[widower]

It's so easy to all but drown yourself in this and for me even feels "right" for lack of a better way to put it, given the circumstances. But as much as I caution against worrying about "should's" (what we "should" do), I do think we should sooner or later, and granted it takes a lot of time, try to work our way out or through this, gradually feeling less of it and ultimately, hopefully, getting to a point where we feel life is worth living again - perhaps even to some measure finding some happiness on the whole. Again I realize this may sound impossible or absurd (it does to me now) but on paper at least it makes sense. After all, that's what our loved ones we lost would want.

And that's my lead-in to my idea. I'm trying to focus on how any time I feel sad, esp when it all hits me like a wave knocking me over, how that makes my loved one out there sad as well, and the last thing I want to do is cause them MORE sadness or suffering, after all they endured. Similarly, if I smile or feel any genuine "good" feelings, it makes them happy as well, and wow that's one thing I would love to give them in any way I can. So, ironically, helping myself and trying to fight this depression, if even if brief battles or spurts, is for them as much as me.

My .02

[Steven]

Yikes! I completely forgot to leave the URL of the site I mentioned below with the applications. Here's the link.

Good and helpful post, widower.

There's an application (available for win/mac/iphone and in browser) that might be of use to you. On the right side of the page, there's a section that reads "WHY WOULD I USE A MOOD CHART?"

While we're all quite sure of why we are feeling sad, grief, depressed, this app might help some. Their description:

"...designed to help you increase your understanding of all the things that affect your mental health.

The apps act as a springboard to detect patterns in your health and develop strategies to proactively

manage depression, bipolar disorder, and other mental health conditions."

I do hope this helps someone. ~ S

[Anne E]

Good thoughts Widower and Steven. It has been almost 4 years since my husbands death and I can assure you that it does indeed take work to begin to feel somewhat "normal" again. I know that at some point, I had to make the decision to fight my way out of depression and to try to live a life with some degree of happiness and contentment.

I have posted here before that I had to make a conscious effort to look for joy every single day. I made a promise to myself and Dick that I would look for joy and begin to climb my way out of depression,, one baby step at a time. It is not easy and I honestly will say that every single day is not one of joy and happiness. However, my days of despair are fewer. I do not expect to never suffer bouts of terrible tidal waves of pain and sadness, but they are becoming fewer and do not seem to last as long.

Time and patience have been healers for me.

[widower]

Thx to you both. Yes Anne I don't doubt that it remains hard, but hopefully gets easier with time. My concern though has been even wanting to feel better. I don't feel like I deserve it for a variety of reasons. So that's why I'm hoping what I said below helps (me at least!).