kayc Posted June 25, 2012 Report Share Posted June 25, 2012 Yes this is how it is...crying over the sights we wish we could share with them, unexpected Tsunamis, but having to accept that this is our life now and making the best we can of it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missing him Posted June 26, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 26, 2012 DeAnne, I hope you had a better day today. I was able to make some jokes at work but still managed to cry at work and on the ride home. Mary - You explained it perfectly. I hope you are feeling better and getting over your sickness. Missing Him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missing him Posted June 26, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 26, 2012 Mary, I appreciate what you said and I'm sorry about your husband Mike. Is sure feels like I will feel like this forever. Such heartache. Missing Hime Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted July 1, 2012 Report Share Posted July 1, 2012 Missing Him Hope you are doing well today. I did some sorting yesterday, of items that had been packed away since shortly after Mike died. Lots of tears and sadness going through the boxes, those waves of grief, but I found that I was ready to release some of the items on to people that could use them. I took 4 boxes of items to the local shelter, where they will be sold and proceeds used to help people in need. Thinking of you. It is a great heartache, and I know that sometimes you will feel you will never be better, but you will be better someday. Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missing him Posted July 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 1, 2012 I am hanging in there. Still struggling, feeling sick to my stomach and no energy to do things. I did manage to do some house cleaning. I have to go to the grocery store and I just don't want to. I wait to the very last minute (Until I run out of items) then I go. It is so hard going on w/o him and I will never understand why he was taken from me so sudden and too young. A day doesn't go by that I don't cry - and it isn't just one time - it is through out the day. I think what you acomplished is a huge step forward in your healing process. I haven't replied/posted anything in awhile because I get in that mode where I shut off, depressed and tell people I'm okay when I know that I'm not so I can just be alone in my sorrow...Probably not the best thing to be doing. I think of everyone here who have reached out to me. Missing Him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 3, 2012 Report Share Posted July 3, 2012 I feel overwhelmed sometimes, even after all these years...not sure it gets any easier. I have an appraiser coming out on the 11th and I wanted to get some weedwhacking done beforehand but alas my neck/upper back hurts from moving everything back into my office a week ago (carpetlayers came) so I think I'd better hold off on that kind of activity until after it's healed. I guess we have to just realize we can't do everything the both of us did and have to do what we can and be satisfied with that. Esp. if we can't afford to hire things done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted July 3, 2012 Report Share Posted July 3, 2012 It's two months since Pete died and I feel worse rather than better. It's my birthday on Friday and my Pete would have made such a fuss of me. The cards he made with poems and photos for previous birthdays are on the walls of our little computer room. Signed off with All my love forever. I have to believe in the Forever don't I? I am in tears more often now than in the early weeks. I think it's sinking in that he has gone but I can't hardly bring myself to write that as writing it makes me feel I should confront it and I don't want to. My life is meaningless right now and I can't see how it will ever be otherwise. My deepest sympathies to you all as we are in the same bad place. Jan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 3, 2012 Report Share Posted July 3, 2012 Jan, I also got your email and responded to it so I won't repeat here but know that all of us here do understand your pain and tears. I certainly do. It does sink it, the fog begins to lift a bit and the tears come. They heal as difficult as this is. Just take a day at a time. It does change in time but you are in the core of this journey right now. Just remain open. You do not have to confront...just stay open to the pain and grief. I understand how meaningless life feels, believe me. It gets better after it gets worse as it is right now. Peace, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 3, 2012 Report Share Posted July 3, 2012 Kay, first of all the photo from the wedding is awesome. So lovely. I am so happy for all of you. I am also sorry about the situation with your mom. So difficult. I agree that I feel overwhelmed many times after 2+ years and anticipate that this will happen off and on at 6 years or 10 years also or during times of transition as I am now dealing with. Right now I am feeling overwhelmed with two weeks of a schedule that is way way too busy and at the same time feeling very raw and fragile and anxious as I face the ending of my publication and another void. I also look forward to it. Mixed. I agree that we need help from neighbors or handy men sometimes and it frustrates me as Bill could do anything and did it before I knew it was broken. I sometimes wait for responses and wish I could do some of these tasks myself but some are beyond me...like your ceiling light would be...hiring gets pricey. I hope your back/neck gets better quickly. Peace, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 5, 2012 Report Share Posted July 5, 2012 Thanks, Mary. I was in too much pain to be on line yesterday. I took a four year old Darvocet a couple of days ago, it helped. Yesterday I took one...nothing. Took another four hours later, and it finally helped some. Came down w/Edema & other symptoms, went on line and discovered Darvocet was removed from the market in 2010 for causing Edema, hence heart attacks. At this point I would have welcomed dying because the pain is constant, but it wasn't to be. It shows my desperation, taking something that old. This morning doing better, although I don't know for how long. I want to say, the feeling overwhelmed isn't constant, but it seems to come when something new hits...a new situation or problem, in which we once would have turned to our mates. With time we learn that we pretty much have ourselves to rely on and we get a little better with it, but the anxiety can still hit now and then. I guess we have to call on someone for help if we can, do without, or tackle things ourselves, that really is our only choices. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 5, 2012 Report Share Posted July 5, 2012 Kay, it seems that you had a bit of a close call with the Darvocet. I hope you are feeling a bit better today. What a way to bring a lovely wedding weekend to an end. Glad you are ok. Peace, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now