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“In the mornings I awoke with a salty crust of tears around my eyes--my grief struggling to surface when I was in my weakest, lost in sleep. But by day I would not allow myself to feel. My misery was muted; it had to be. If I faced it in earnest, I would truly drown.” 
~ Chandra Prasad

salty crust of tears.jpg

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Plant a Tree

July 13, 2016 By Annette Childs, Ph.D. 

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‘The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. the second best time is now.’ Chinese Proverb

These are wonderful words that remind us to not let regret over what we have failed to do in the past, stop us from doing what we are still able to do today.

 
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The Other Side of Complicated Grief's photo.
The Other Side of Complicated Grief

"Grief Storms"

Just as you can't control the weather, you cannot control the moments that the emotions of grief will overtake you.

One moment the sky is clear and blue and all seems fine; the next moment you're in the middle of a storm that you can't seem to escape.

Grief storms are a normal part of grief.

Allow yourself to feel all of the emotions that the storm brings. The storm has purpose...to bring the painful emotions that need to be brought up to the surface of your heart, in order for your heart to heal.

Eventually, the frequency and intensity of the storms will decrease.

Storms are not setbacks, they come to help you heal your grief.

Honor and work through your storms.

Honor your pain. Honor your loss.

You can make it through this.

-Rhonda

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On 4/20/2016 at 8:24 PM, enna said:

"After you died
all things changed.

 

Dust collected around the house
payments went unpaid
and calls unreturned.
Casseroles went uneaten
teeth unbrushed.
plants unwatered
'thank you' cards, unmailed.

 

After you died
the smell of rain disappeared
birds lost their melody
stones turned to ash
and clouds to concrete
the sky surrendered its blue
grasses withered and trees fell.

 

After you died
a part of me did, too
and what remained
collapsed under the weight
of your constant absence
and all things changed.

 

And, I realized that all things had to change
because my world could not remain
the same without you.
Sameness would not sufficiently honor
the holiness of your mark upon my heart
the longing for every part of you
even parts I would never know.

 

After you died
all things changed.
All things changed
except my love for you."

 

- Dr. Joanne Cacciatore
**

I so love this.

And I found this. How the two speak to my journey.

TALK TO THE MOON.jpg

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
Speaking Words of Love
September 6 
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Photo courtesy of SDGimagery.com
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Often we remain silent when we need to speak. Without words, it is hard to love well. When we say to our parents, children, lovers, or friends: "I love you very much" or "I care for you" or "I think of you often" or "You are my greatest gift," we choose to give life.

It is not always easy to express our love directly in words. But whenever we do, we discover we have offered a blessing that will be long remembered. When a son can say to his father, "Dad, I love you," and when a mother can say to her daughter, "Child, I love you," a whole new blessed place can be opened up, a space where it is good to dwell. Indeed, words have the power to create life.
Henri Nouwen
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  • 3 weeks later...

Because it's the first day of fall...

 
Fall Day
 
Lord, it is time. This was a very big summer.
Lay your shadows over the sundial,
and let the winds loose on the fields.

Command the last fruits to be full;
give them two more sunny days,
urge them on to fulfillment and throw
the last sweetness into the heavy wine.

Who has no house now, will never build one.
Whoever is alone now, will long remain so,
Will watch, read, write long letters
and will wander in the streets, here and there
restlessly, when the leaves blow.

~ Ranier Maria Rilke ~ 

(translated by Barbara Abbott and Larry Hauser)

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I wanted to double like this!  Poor Arlie, I drug him out in this misery (he has a coat but it doesn't cover the top of his head and tail) and we got soaked to the gills!  Won't be walking any more today.

I've been trying to practice only concerning myself with what I CAN do something about and letting go of the rest, but sometimes that's a real challenge.

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