Significant Quotes

[kayc]

Need a "like" button!

[mfh]

Center for Mindfulness & Justice at UW Madison, WI “Everything is held together with stories. That is all that is holding us together, stories and compassion.” ~ Barry Lopez

It sounds like Barry Lopez knows about us.

[enna]

Thank you for the link above, Mary. I think there must be many Barry Lopez' who know our stories.

My positive thought before my morning meditation. As a matter of fact - I think I'll just focus on this quote while listening to some meditation music... Anne

"Your light is seen, your heart is known, your soul is cherished by more people than you might imagine. If you knew how many others have been touched in wonderful ways by you, you would be astonished. If you knew how many people feel so much for you, you would be shocked. You are far more wonderful than you think you are. Rest easy with that. Breathe again. You are doing fine, more than fine. Better than fine. You are doing great and don't let anything or anyone steal your rights to feel good about yourself."

Neale Donald Walsch

[mfh]

I think we all need that one...every person here and everywhere. Good quote, Anne...and you do know it is true of you.

My cleaning lady came this morning. I had warned her that she could not do much so she and I went to the basement and got order down there. I have been unpacking boxes from when we moved and am saving boxes to put out in the yard to kill grass where I plan to plant. So we flattened those, put Christmas stuff in one corner; etc. Now the purging begins down there....time to shed. I got my boxes and my trusty rototiller and am becoming a gardener...again. So grateful for my gardener friends who will share their seeds and plants. It will be a memorial garden with plants from all those who loved Bill and me...and next year a labyrinth with a maple tree (this year) in the center and white pines (3 of them elsewhere, from a friend's woods) and a bench we carted around with us...from our first home, to the first one in the woods, to the mountains... in the center (HUGE job). The last time I gardened was the first year of our marriage...after that we were in the woods where we kept things wild for the most part...I did not want to turn the wild into a suburb..besides the deer and rabbits and who knows who else just ate it all anyway...they liked our yards because we did not allow hunting and they knew it. First day of rifle season...we had lots and lots of deer in the yard eating corn and salt licks and anything I planted. I remember attempting bulbs and I put bonemeal in each hole. Buffy, our first dog, dug them all up to get to the bonemeal. I surrendered. I need to create a place outside for me here and am grateful I have the place to do it but it is a many year project....to begin whenever (IF ever) the rain stops. Flood warnings out today...we are a state of lakes and rivers. The Baraboo will pass flood stage tonight but it won't affect us here. The Wisconsin could flood depending on what happens up north. But it will affect those just north of us.

So, Anne, yes...make that quote a part of the cells of your body and soul....it is about YOU!! Off to Costco. Painters are not here yet but I leave the door open for them. It is pouring rain again. AWGH! I am pretty sick of it but the farmers are quite happy except it is now at a place where they can not get their crops in. Have a peaceful, calm day. I see your light. Time to stop rambling.

Mary

[mfh]

Transcending Loss: Understanding the lifelong impact of grief You are not alone in your grief. Know that there are millions of people around the globe who understand your pain. Every country, every city, every town, every village has people in it who have loved and lost people dear to them. Grieving is part of the human condition and has been throughout all of history. Though you may feel alone, stop to remember that you are part of a vast network of people who are learning to live with loss and hold love ever tight in their hearts.

From Facebook

[kayc]

Wow, Mary, you are so ambitious! The rest of you make me feel lazy! Thank you for sharing the roses, very beautiful!

[mfh]

Kay, the roses were with this quote. I love both.

Anne, I just saw this on FB and thought of your quote this morning.

[feralfae]

Ah, Dear Mary, on the poster:

Amen.

For so many here.

Thank you all for being lights who help light the way on this journey.

fae

[Wifflesnook]

“Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken"

Terry Pratchett

[mfh]

Kay, I forgot to remind you that this yard is a "many year project"...many. I just hope to get the trees in this summer and some flowers.

[mfh]

“Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken"

Terry Pratchett

I really like this quote.

[kayc]

I like that quote too.

[MartyT]

From an article I just read, an insightful quotation from Dr. Jack Jordan, coeditor of the book Grief After Suicide (Routledge, 2011) and the Clinical Consultant for Grief Support Services of the Samaritans of Boston, where he is helping to develop innovative outreach and support programs for suicide survivors:

Grief does not have an expiration date, and Dr. Jordan says a common misconception is that the feeling of grieving completely disappears one day. "Somebody in a support group that I was running once said, Doctor Jordan, people think that grieving is like having this heavy boulder put on your shoulders. What happens is you just put it down and go on down the road. He said, that's not what's happening to me, what's happening to me is my back is getting stronger. So that's a much better metaphor about what grieving is about: It's learning to carry the loss so that it doesn't feel so heavy."

[mfh]

I really like this quote. Really like it.

Transcending Loss: Understanding the lifelong impact of grief

Do not expect to be your old self one day. Grief has changed you irrevocably. You are growing into a new self, day by day. This new self may be fearful, bitter, and shut down . . . or this new self may be full of increased compassion, heightened understanding, and deep love. Be open to such a transformation. Be open to letting grief break open your heart so that light comes through the cracks.

[feralfae]

Dear Mary,

I know this is your vocation and avocation, but I am continually delighted with the wonderful quotes, meditations, and images you share with us here. Thank you.

I only hope you are not giving up sleep to search out all these comforting and inspiring gifts you bring to us.

Thank you.

*<twinkles>*

fae

[mfh]

Thanks, fae. They come to me. I don't go looking I am glad you like them....little positive thoughts help us heal.

Mary

[mfh]

http://withsympathygifts.com/blog/griefsupport/grief-relief-101-how-to-cope-when-grieving/?goback=%2Egde_2193485_member_233690998

This is a very short 1-2-3 piece for those new to grief...some basic things to do.

[kayc]

Mary, it is so true. I mentioned that in the "Loss of Love" section (someone once again lost her BF when his mom died)...one thing I have learned is that grief changes us forever and we will not be our old self again.

[kayc]

And the four tips are good too.

[mfh]

I like this first quote because it acknowledges how huge the loss of a spouse is but urges us to keep loving and enjoying other relationships. The second one is just so valid to me.

Grief Speaks “The great love is gone. There are still little loves - friend to friend, brother to sister, student to teacher. Will you deny yourself comfort at the hearth fire of a cottage because you may no longer sit by the fireplace of a palace? Will you deny yourself to those who reach out to you in hopes of warming themselves at your hearth fire?”
― Mercedes Lackey

“We all want to do something to mitigate the pain of loss or to turn grief into something positive, to find a silver lining in the clouds. But I believe there is real value in just standing there, being still, being sad.”
― John Green

[kayc]

Being sad...There are some things that are still hard for me to do...to pour over my drawer full of pictures, cards, mementos, and to listen to "our music". My son made us a wedding CD full of "our songs", it is hard for me to hear them. Our love was so great...the pain seems equally great.

[mfh]

I'm with you, Kay. I do pour over pictures, cards, poems now and then but it is painful/wonderful. Music is coming along but some music is just off limits...Mahler tops the list. Jane Olivor is difficult for me. Some religious music is tough..hymns from my mom and dad's funerals, Bill's funeral, music we loved...polyphonic even the Gregorian chant I sang daily in my convent days...all tough.

Mary

[enna]

“Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report written on birds that he'd had three months to write, which was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books about birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him put his arm around my brother's shoulder, and said, "Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.”

Anne Lamott

Reminds me of our grief - minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.... Anne

[mfh]

I really like that quote and now I know where Anne Lamott got the title for her book: Bird by Bird. Thank you, Anne. I know you are sitting with your friend at the hospital today and hope the day goes well and is not too tiring for you. Mary

[mfh]

Parker Palmer, author and educator, lives in Madison, WI (near me) and is well known in these parts and highly respected. He posted this today on Facebook:

Here's a mysterious little poem by William Stafford. I can't tell you exactly why it has such a grip on me, but it does...Maybe it's because we're in a time of great sorrow when accepting what Stafford calls "the way of being lost" seems important—even necessary—if we are to "cut loose" from business as usual and reach for a better world. Then there's Stafford's vital reminder that "a steady center is holding all else"—and if you know where it is, "you can slide your way past trouble." The poet also names the "twisted monsters" that always bar our path—suggesting that they need not defeat us but can prod us to "get going" amid the complex mix of horror and heroics of which reality is made. In the final stanza, Stafford suggests that, as we "get going", our acceptance of being lost can turn to gratitude for being lost—for if we didn't feel lost, we wouldn't look for a better way. Having said all that, I still don't know exactly why this poem grabs me as it does. But I feel certain it contains a truth that I need to understand to live in a way that's responsive to our troubled time…