I Keep Messing Up

[STARKISS]

Hi All,

I have the worst time when a person becomes my friend, I keep messing up and the person unfriends me all the time... I say or do something to chase the person off... am I that unloving or friendship material... I had a really nice lady as a friend and I told her I hated the meet up group she ran and i also said some other things that were not nice and now this lady and i am not friends anymore... I am heart broken and do not know how to stop myself from doing this ... I know that grief is when you lose someone but I really feel like I am grieving over the friendship we had... Shelley

[MartyT]

Shelley, dear, good for you for having the insight to recognize the part you played in this situation. That is the first step in solving the problem. If preserving this relationship really matters to you, I wonder what would happen if you sent this woman a sincere apology, asking her forgiveness, and saying pretty much what you've said here in your post? If she accepts your apology, then you can go on from there ~ and if she does not accept it, then maybe you can consider the entire experience as something that has taught you a very valuable lesson.

As for understanding why you do this, and developing ways you can stop yourself from doing it again ~ those are things that your therapist definitely can help you with, and I encourage you to bring these questions into your session, next time you have an appointment with someone.