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Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy

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On July 19th my whole world crashed. I lost my 23 yr. old son Dairik to Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy ( enlarged heart ) We never knew of his condition because there were never any symptoms.I told him I loved his as he walked into work that morning and 1 hr. later my baby boy was gone. The only saving grace that is keeping me sane is knowing he felt absolutely no pain when he passed. Having to call his 25 yr. old brother Damien was heartbreaking. I cry everyday especially at lunch time because we ate together everyday for 2 yrs. He was my baby boy and my best friend. I laughed everyday when I was around him and when he and his brother got going it at night i would be in tears from laughing so hard.Now there is silence and I seldom laugh. My son Damien feels like he shouldn't be laughing or having any type of fun because his brother/best friend isn't here to share it with him.I try not to let him see me cry so as not to bring him down anymore than he already is..I haven't been to a grief counselor because I am an extremely shy and emotional person. I would have an anxiety attack and would be unable to speak. I guess I just need to deal with this on my own. Just wondering how many other parents have lost their child to this horrible condition..

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My dear friend, I see that your post has been viewed by several people since it first appeared on August 11, but it has gone unanswered for several days. I want you to know that your voice has been heard, and as a grief counselor, I want to share some of my own thoughts with you.

I am so very sorry to learn of the sudden, unexpected death of your precious son Dairik from HCM. As gratified as I am that you've found your way to this warm and caring place, I am concerned that you think you can carry this terrible burden all by yourself, without any outside support. It also sounds as if you're struggling to protect your son Damien so as not to burden him with your grief. Quite frankly, my dear, I worry that you will collapse under this enormous strain ~ and it is so unnecessary! There is so much support "out there" and available to you, and my prayer for you is that you will find the strength and the courage to reach out for it. You say that you're an extremely shy and emotional person, but that is not reason enough to reject the idea of seeking bereavement support. After all, your precious son died barely a month ago ~ and frankly, I would be even more concerned about you if you WEREN'T "extremely emotional" about that! Is there anything worse that could happen to you than to lose your baby boy to death?

For now, in the privacy of your own home, I want to connect you to some articles and other resources (including another bereaved mom's story) which I hope will give you some options to consider and, at the very least, help you to feel less alone:

Desperately Miss My Son

When An Adult Child Dies: Resources for Bereaved Parents

Blogs (and Books) for Bereaved Parents

Two Deposits in Heaven: Making Sense of Child Loss

Finding Grief Support That Is Right For You

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