Loss Of My Dad

[mikey.d]

I lost my dad on march 16th of this year and its been a very difficult or should I say a very troublesome time for me. I not only put a very big strain on my marriage and my family I have lost the will to want work, sleep or eat. If there is anyone out there that has gone through or is going through the same thing and might have some advice for me I would love to hear it.

[Ron B.]

Mikey,

Well, I first wrote a long reply, but then thought it better to be brief. Welcome to our forums! Most of us here know all about the ordeal and pain of grief. What helped me most through my grief was daily exercise, seeing a mental health professional, and working with my family's legacy. The exercise was almost weird in how much it helped. I biked and swam. It got me outside around other people and somehow refreshened my thinking. For a few months I saw a psychologist, and that helped me deal with fractious siblings in the process of settling our mother's estate. About legacy, I ended up with the family photos, and now I scan, restore, and distribute them to other family members. These things I did may or may not help you, but if you read and interact with people here you will find out about a variety of good coping strategies. I will say one thing a bit out of the norm, and that is that grief is not only about pain and confusion. I have conviction that we also grow through grief. My parents' passing left me to carry on their legacy, and I derive strength from that. Probably your own healing is underway too, as that is a natural process. Glad you found us!

Ron B.

[Princesspeanut]

Hey Mikey,

I lost mine almost 2 years ago and its still really hard...I had a VERY difficult time in the beginning and I lost my own will to live. What helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel is that you have to know, this is not what your Dad wants for you. Im sure he wishes he could take away the pain but he can't. He wants you to be happy and live your life in a confident, healthy way. The situation will never "Get better", nothing can make it okay but you will learn to live your life differently and incorporate your Dad into everyday life even if you can't see or hear him. I think of my Dad often and I speak to him in my head, tell him I love him. Ask him to help me be the person he knows I am capable of being and I ask for the strength to do that. I never thought I would say "it gets better" or "easier" but trust me, eventually time does make it easier. Sounds like you have a wife, family, job and most importantly, yourself to focus on. Get your life back for your Dad and talking to a professional could be REALLY helpful. You can do it!