Heartbroken

[Korki]

I dont know how anyone moves forward from the loss of a loved one. I know they do it everyday but we've been fortunate until now to never be faced with such a tragic loss. My heart is broken for myself and all those that loved him. I feel like I may never stop crying.

[enna]

Korki,

I am so sorry for your loss. You are at the right place for there are people here who can relate. Each one of us walk this path in their own way. I have found poetry to be a comfort to me. It will get better only different. You are in my thoughts and prayers. enna

[Guest babylady]

i know how you feel. i've been crying for the last 45 minutes and my husband passed 3 months ago. i cry every day.

sending you a hug.

[Kira]

Hi Korki,

I am new here, but I am not new to loss- there is nothing quite as gut-punching as a sudden death. One has to wonder why some are destined to leave this world before us. I hope that like me, you are reading some of the threads here, feeling your way, and able to find the strength that these next few days and weeks will take to get through.

Hold on to those that you love, those that loved him and embrace your memories- they must be held dear- and your tributes to him will ease the passage of time.

Every tear you cry is therapeutic and important right now. Don't be afraid to tell your loved ones how you feel, and in turn you will be able to grieve his passing together. Hold on, and be well.

Kira.

[AnnC]

I dont know how anyone moves forward from the loss of a loved one. I know they do it everyday but we've been fortunate until now to never be faced with such a tragic loss. My heart is broken for myself and all those that loved him. I feel like I may never stop crying.

I am so sorry, it's so shocking a sudden loss to a car accident. I lost my brother that way Aug. 24th. They're just gone and we expect them to call or come over any day, and then the awful realization that they never will again. My heart goes out to you. Cry as much and as long as you need to -- I have had other losses, and although this one feels like it will never feel better, I know from experience that eventually, the pain will soften, though you never forget. I don't know about you but I have a motion picture of the crash running over and over in my head. It's my brain trying to process the information. It hurts so much. But crying is how we process the pain. Don't be afraid to cry.

[MartyT]

Korki, my dear, please forgive me for not seeing your post until just now.

Let me add my voice to the others in expressing my deepest sympathy for the loss of your precious nephew.

I hope you will find your way to AnnC's thread, My Brother. If you scroll down a bit, in one of my posts you'll find links to some resources I listed for Ann that you may find helpful, too.

I don't know how old your nephew was, but HEARTS is a site for "individuals and families whose lives have been forever changed by motor vehicle crashes involving teen drivers."

See also Grief Arising From Sudden and Traumatic Loss

[hockeymom]

I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your nephew. There is no easy way to heal from the grief and it simply will take time. Hold tight to the memories you have of him and give yourself time. Embrace family and try not to make unnecessary demands on yourself. Wishing you some comfort and sending many hugs!

[kayc]

Korki,

I am sorry you find yourself deep in the throes of grief, it is the club noone wanted to join. I have lost so many people, a nephew,dad, niece, MIL, husband, and countless pets. The hardest was my husband, it impacted every aspect of my everyday life.

*The only way I know to get through it is to let yourself grieve.

*Be easy on yourself, you are going through quite a trauma and it can affect you physically, mentally, and in every way.

*Take good care of yourself physically, you need it more than ever...daily walks, stress relievers, eat healthy, drink a lot of water, etc.

*Don't be afraid to get help. Visit your doctor, discuss how you're doing with it, you may need on anti-depressants or sleeping pills for a time, discuss your concerns about those with him/her too. *State your needs to people. Often they aren't very good at figuring out how to respond, it's important to let them know exactly what you need from them (I need to be able to talk to you about him. I don't expect you to "fix it", there is no "fixing it", but it's important for me to be heard.)

*Take a day at a time. The rest of your life is too much to take on right now, it'll keep. You have your hands full just getting through today, so for now, stick to the present time.

*Recognize that your grief journey is yours, it is unique, you'll have your own time table. There isn't a "right way" or a "wrong way" to grieve, only YOUR way. Don't let people tell you "you should be over it by now" or "move on". Get assertive with them and let them know you will proceed at the best pace for you.

*Realize that people may mean well but quite frankly, they can say stupid things. Forgive them. It's okay to vent here, we understand, we get it, but if they haven't been through it, chances are they may not respond in the best way for you.

*You will get through this. There are days we don't think we will, days we don't want to, quite frankly, but we get through it one day at a time, one foot in front of another.

[kayc]

How are you doing?