My Maple Tree

[mfh]

Jan, I am sorry your dog classes are not good. I too had to travel an hour but at least when I got there the teacher was outstanding. She has become a friend and has since sold the school but helps me with Bentley when we get together. I am so glad you have a trainer. It is helpful at times like this. Yes, Bentley challenged me after Bill died. It was all so much change...even over 4 years with caregivers (the last 6 months) coming and going and then his funeral and so many people in the house that week. Training him can be as simple as "sit", "down", "stay", wait and he has to do it for a treat. All the places I have trained use chicken or pork..tiny pieces. When I am training a lot, as now with the Good Citizen class, I also use clicker and wear a food pouch. Bentley has to learn to heel without the gentle lead I started using when he pulled me off my feet a couple of hears ago. It was my fault. I let him out of the car at a friend's house so he could see her llamas. He saw them and tore over dragging me behind him until I realized I had to let go of the leash. It took me by surprise and would not have happened if I had thought ahead. It was right after Bill died. Now he stands and waits for me to put his leash on. But you can do tiny trainings like sit, wait. Just enough to show him you are the boss. then he feels safe as he knows who is in charge and it "ain't" him. Do little trainings like that several times a day...just a few minutes as the attention span is small. Have him wait at the door so you go through first. Oh, BTW, I read Anne's post about Dog Whisperer...I have to contradict her (sorry, Anne) on the Dog Whisperer. He has a terrible reputation here and is fear/control based as opposed to relationship/love based. He has been highly criticized in the dog training world and rightly so. Does Kelbi fetch and retrieve. You can do that in your house with tennis balls. Bentley loves to do that and again, it is training.

do you have a box at the bottom of the space where you type on this forum that says "Click to attach files"? Do you use Windows over the pond?

time to meditate, journal, etc. Later,

Mary

[enna]

Dear Mary,

No offense taken about your thoughts on the Dog Whisperer. I really had no opinion about him other than sometimes it is the trainers who need to learn how to train.. I love animals. I am trying to take baby steps through this time in my life - I suck at it - I have been running for so many years that my body needs to learn how to slow down. I am off to my first massage. I've had neck and shoulder ones but not the rocks on the back! Today is the day. Anne

[mfh]

Anne, a lot of folks have not heard about the Dog Whisperer reputation. I believe he was taken off the air and might be back now with a new regime but I personally would ignore him. Just MHO. You are doing just fine taking baby steps....that is all we can do. You do not suck at it, at all. You are sharing when that is difficult for you and even getting your first massage. Good for you. Peace, Mary

[mfh]

Anne, I thought you were coming over to rake up all the leaves. Seriously, I have a guy who comes with a vacuum that minces them up and takes them away. The maple is about 35% bare now and the leaves are ankle deep so far. Usually takes two trips. No trees in the back yard this fall thanks to lightning and wind...so it will be cheaper to get my leaves out this fall. Hope to plant two trees in the spring...one in the center of what will be my labyrinth/memorial garden and a white pine elsewhere because they grow so fast and I like them. As for my addiction to Pinterest...you are right. I do find it relaxing especially/mostly in the evenings. I started on Easter (a tough day for me as Bill's funeral and burial was the day before Easter-Holy Saturday-and my 70th birthday was on that same Easter Sunday). Easter has always been a more important day to me than Christmas. Makes sense theologically. Now it is a reminder of Bill's funeral. But, I do believe in life after life...for all of us. I paid bills today, finally had time to get to them, and did sneak over to Facebook and Pinterest for a break a couple of times. Make bill paying and updating Quicken so much easier when I can plop a few pins on my boards ....what would we do without the Internet as we walk this journey. Now to take Bentley for his training session.

Peace,

Mary

[missing him]

You are probably right. It's difficult for me to do things for me. I'm not used to living that way being the only one to rely on during my husband's illness.

This is just my opinion but I think your dogs would be just fine anf that attending a support group is really important for you. I hope you seriously consider getting something for you. In the end, your dogs will also benefit. Mary

[enna]

Anne, I thought you were coming over to rake up all the leaves. Seriously, I have a guy who comes with a vacuum that minces them up and takes them away. The maple is about 35% bare now and the leaves are ankle deep so far. Usually takes two trips. No trees in the back yard this fall thanks to lightning and wind...so it will be cheaper to get my leaves out this fall. Hope to plant two trees in the spring...one in the center of what will be my labyrinth/memorial garden and a white pine elsewhere because they grow so fast and I like them. As for my addiction to Pinterest...you are right. I do find it relaxing especially/mostly in the evenings. I started on Easter (a tough day for me as Bill's funeral and burial was the day before Easter-Holy Saturday-and my 70th birthday was on that same Easter Sunday). Easter has always been a more important day to me than Christmas. Makes sense theologically. Now it is a reminder of Bill's funeral. But, I do believe in life after life...for all of us. I paid bills today, finally had time to get to them, and did sneak over to Facebook and Pinterest for a break a couple of times. Make bill paying and updating Quicken so much easier when I can plop a few pins on my boards ....what would we do without the Internet as we walk this journey. Now to take Bentley for his training session.

Peace,

Mary

Hi Mary,

I thought I answered this but I don't see my response. If I came over, I'd be jumping in those leaves not raking them. I know you have a hard time around Easter - so many memories. Here's a hug. And you know you can always cry with me for more than 10 seconds. I am so thankful for this grief support site. Rest and take care. We will never be finished with this until we are with our loves again. I do believe this. anne

[Wifflesnook]

How true Enna when you say we will never be finished with this until we are with our loves. How much there is to learn about grief! And most of it is bad, but I suppose there is some good there somehow even though its hard to see it. One good thing is finding people who share it with us though none of us would wish to be here in the first place. Like Mary I have ordered a book by Dr Eben Alexander who survived a near death experience. His story is amazing. It gives me hope that this life is not all there is. I listened to him and when he was asked about what religion he now espoused he said None really because all of them are different ways of interpreting the after lfe. This seemed right to me though I lean towards the Buddhist view myself. But whAever path I know I can't live in this world without hope and that hope is that somehow Pete and I will be reunited in some way. Jan

[kayc]

Mary, how do I find you on Pinterest? I started my page, but I am not sure I understand the purpose. Do people just collect pictures on there and share them? I agree about Easter, it has been that way for me ever since I was in a choir that performed a cantata "The Last Sacrifice"...it was kind of a combination play/cantata performance. The men even grew beards for it, dressed the part, we practiced for months. It had some places in there that were discordant and when we performed we could see how it all fit, the discord went with what was being sung about in that place. It brought it all home to me, what Jesus did, how important it was, and Easter has always remained my most important holiday since, because as you say, it makes more sense theologically...although Christmas was the beginning, and He had to be willing to leave the comfort of heaven to traverse here for what He knew would not be an easy job. I wish I had a video of our performance, but alas that was before people were doing that.

[mfh]

Kay, good for you. If you go to the search box on the top left and put my name in (Mary Friedel-Hunt) my page should pop up. Yes, people collect. Sharing is done mostly by repinning. When you open Pinterest, the NEW pins of those who you follow are on the page that opens. You can repin any of those or enter a topic or name in the search box. Enter 'trees' e.g. and you can choose pins, boards, or people from the list. If you choose pins, individual trees show up--thousands of them. If you choose boards, boards full of trees from various people show up. There is very little sharing in the sense of talking to people...sometimes a comment is made here or there but usually people just share and collect pins. A lot of people repin my grief pins and on occasion I will check their board to see who they lost or whatever and might reach out with a comment. They might comment back. It is not like Facebook where people talk a lot to each other. I guess they can but no one seems to do that very often. In November, I am taking a facilitator training weekend for Soul Collage (based on Jungian theory) and Pinterest has a bit of overlap with the process in that one chooses graphics that they resonate with. Soul Collage goes deep unlike the vast majority of the boards but for me, some of the pins I choose come from a deeper place within me.

Your cantata sounds great. A friend of mine (who died in 2001) was a musician (Julliard graduate) and choir director. Her choir did contatas at Easter and Christmas. Sometimes, if she was desperate, I would turn pages. I am not great at reading music but we made it work.

Time to train Bentley. Let me know if you can't figure out Pinterest or can't find my boards.

Mary

[kayc]

Thanks, I found it! You have put a lot of effort into this, I love what you've done. I know what I'd like to do but am not sure how to accomplish it...

This may take some playing around with...or beating my head against the wall, whichever works best, ha ha!

[mfh]

Thanks, I found it! You have put a lot of effort into this, I love what you've done. I know what I'd like to do but am not sure how to accomplish it...

This may take some playing around with...or beating my head against the wall, whichever works best, ha ha!

What is it you want to do? What is your board name? I checked Kay and Kay C and did not get it.

Mary

[MartyT]

Yes, Kay, by all means, do let us know how to find you! As I mentioned in another thread (don't know if you saw my post) I "do" Pinterest also. You'll find my boards here: http://pinterest.com/griefhealing/

[kayc]

Well, as many of you know, I make cards...that is what I often do to relax and get the creative juices flowing, and I want to connect with others that do the same, but I don't see a section/category for that, which I find odd...normally you find a crafting section in places like this. I'd like to add my favorite suppliers and ideas as well.

I also enjoy nature, so I want to have a section with trees, waterfalls, sunsets, etc. Anyplace I might want to be.

And I love what you've done on grief...it is a place you can go and be in touch with your soul and your feelings. But then, I guess I can always go to your spot for that, you've already put in all of the work, ha!

And I want a section for animals...I haven't figured out if I want one section for dogs and another for wild animals or if I should just lump them all together. I like horses too and wolves, but then I also love bears, elk, deer...and cats.

I think it's just under my name, like in FB, which any of you with emails from me already have. It will take me a while to create it, and I haven't had time to devote to it yet, I've just barely gotten started. This is all new to me! I've heard the word Pinterest floating around and never knew what anyone was talking about!

I signed up for Twitter once but never saw the point. FB I see the need for, but it's diverse and you can use it for so many purposes...I just don't get writing every little thought that enters your brain whether it has any interest or not. Twitter is too much like a reality show...more for people with no life. Not that I have a life! Ha ha. But I know if I wrote a bunch of stuff on Twitter no one would follow it or respond. Is it supposed to be an inane diary of sorts?

[mfh]

Kay, if you want to put your boards in a category that does not exist, there is one called Other. The title of your board is more important than the category, I think.

Here is the card making section of Pinterest. http://pinterest.com/search/?q=card+making

Do you have a specific question about Pinterest?

Mary

[kayc]

Thanks, that will get me started. I need to make pictures of mine before I send them on, to remember for ideas and share with others. I have hundreds of cards I have made and have been listing them for sale since our local art gallery closed.

[mfh]

You are welcome. You can set up a link to a site where you sell your cards. There is a program I keep getting emails about where you can easily (so it says) set up a free website or you said you have listed them for sale. I think you can link Pinterest to wherever you are doing that. I remember your cards...they are lovely.

I just took Bentley for a long walk. I have used a gentle leader with him and now it has to be abandoned as they are not allowed to use them for Good Citizen. They CAN use them for therapy dog. So down the street we go, me with a pocket full of hot dog pieces (yuck..but they work) and he did very well even going into my friend's store. She loves to pet him and treat him and today she had to totally ignore him so he would just stand or sit at my side. Everyone passed. He froze at one point, on the sidewalk, as he hates going over a steel piece that covers a small culvert on the sidewalk. Out comes the hotdog and over he goes.

Peace

Mary

[missing him]

Mary - I saw you Pinterest. You did so much work. I haven't gone through it all but I did go to the "In Memory of Bill" and it was amazing. Brought me to tears. You had a great love as well.

Missing Him

[kayc]

I don't know that I could have the discipline you do with Bentley...but then it shows. My Arlie would never be considered for therapy or anything else. Lucky would have been. But Arlie has a different temperament, more high strung and anxiety and high energy. But I love him.

[ANC1117]

Mary,

The tree is so colorful. Thank you for sharing it. I am looking forward to my trip up north so I can take in all the beautiful colors fall offers us. Visual and Beauty

Anthony

[mfh]

Anthony, I do not know when you are heading north or where exactly you are going but here in SW Wisconsin the trees are pretty bare. The wind took them. there is still color but we are pretty much past peak. This weekend is the Fall Art Tour...about 5,000 tourists hit the area to visit artists' studios and usually we are at peak that weekend. But alas...it is over. I am sorry if you are traveling this far north.

Peace,

Mary

[ANC1117]

Mary,

I live in The Phoenix, Arizona area. We are mainly desert here. About two hours north of us is Sedona, that has many trees that change color in the fall. This is an area Celene and I loved to get away to in the fall. I only hope the leaves haven't fallen off yet.

Anthony

[mfh]

I have been in Phoenix (spent a summer there waiting for our RV delivery...way too hot. Been to Sedona many times and Oak Creek Canyon should be ok as it is quite a bit further south than we are. I hope you find it colorful.

Mary

[kayc]

I lived in Phoenix for a few months when I was young, it was too hot for me, that's why I moved back to Oregon. I remember the beautiful sunsets in AZ...

Here in Oregon we have a bit of everything except I can't think of anyplace with Palm trees. We have desert, mountains, ocean, hills, valleys, you name it. Something for everyone! You all can move here!