To My Darling

[ustwo]

I can't hide the tears. I can't hide the pain. Friday will be 5 months. I can't believe you're not here with me still. My head knows but my broken heart aches for you so much that at times I think you're just taking a nap.....just for a moment. I thought I caught a glimpse of you smiling at me in your special way with that twinkle in those beautiful green eyes.

I had to go through some papers this week and found a copy of your Living Will...the one you asked me to turn over to the hospital the morning after you coded. Right now I don't even know how I came home and found the paper and returned to the hospital with it. Until then I thought we still had a chance to beat this one more time like we did last year. You fought for so long to stay. I run through my mind all the things you had to fight: CHF, liver damage, kidney damage, pancreatitis, gall baldder, bone spurs on both shoulders, phnemonia, hienial hernia, and those restless legs that would not give you a moments peace. We fought hard together and beat all of it last year. You were just too tired to fight any more. And I know you suffered until you closed your eyes for the last time....you tried to stay with me. I love you. Thank you for every precious moment of majic for 28 years. It's not over.....you and I are never over. Always is forever my love. If I can not be with you now surely God lets my love wrap around you.

Feel my love darling!

Always Gene!

Always!

[Dusky]

You wrote a lovely message - I feel your pain - and can understand the difficult time you have each day. please know that there are others (on here) who know the agony of losing one so dear.

Here is a quote for you that I found recently - and I love it - for me it says it all:

"Because he has been here, I will be different than I would have been. I will have to become his legacy. he travels with me into tomorrow. He may have died, but love never ends"

Love,

John - Dusky on here

[ustwo]

Thank you Dusky. I am sorry for your loss. I have not been a good responder for several weeks but have read your posts. You honor Jack so tenderly, so honestly. I am still at the beginning of this "evolution" I do not want.

I pray for all of us the strength to take on one more day, carrying with us all this love. I know that when I feel I've taken one step forward that somewhere ahead of me are the "steps backwards".

When I think about how many people are here on this Earth, we all were truely blessed to have found our soul mates, our one true love. The pain would not be so great if the love was not so true. And just as we can feel the wind but not see it so is the love that goes beyond the veil

Feel my love Gene!

Always Gene!

Always!

[kayc]

You write

Can you still feel my love?

Yes, he can...they know we love them, it was never questioned when they were alive, and it wouldn't be any different just because we can no longer reach them. Our love didn't last "until the last breath", it continues on forever. Our lives have changed and we've had to learn things we never wanted to know and be strong whether we wanted to or not, but our love...it never wavers.