mfh Posted January 16, 2013 Report Share Posted January 16, 2013 I woke up after a very restless night and tears were running down my face and falling to my pillow....lots of tears. I had put my iPod in my ear at 4am to help me get to sleep and when I awoke the person being interviewed on the NPR show on my iPod was reading Psalm 23 (The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.... Bill's favorite psalm) which I read to Bill an hour before he died and many other times. I woke up just sobbing and reliving his final days and hour and missing him more than words can begin to say. I do not know how long I had been sobbing. The tears 3 hours later are still falling even after feeding Bentley and making tea. These times happen but I have not sobbed this profusely in a long time. Except for the pain of missing my luv, the release feels needed and good. I know that my long conversation with my friend yesterday opened this floodgate. I saw Bill and felt him and just want him to wrap his arms around me and comfort me as he did so tenderly and to return from that other world which I can not fully share. I have 9 or so women coming this afternoon for book club and I know I will pull myself together long before that but I also know how much I hurt this morning. I know these times will come forever and it is ok but never feels good as I go through them. The picture is with Cathy and Bill in happier days. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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