Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

What Is Weight Of Pain?


Recommended Posts

Maybe I'm just angry as I post this, maybe I'm just legitimately distraught. But It doesn't really matter either way.

Grief is measured shallowly on so many levels. On the order of things. On popularity.

And It's disgusting.

Pain is measured by weight the of ignorance. By how you express yourself. By how many people like you.

By how much attention you are able to gather with your sob story.

We all have them, these sob stories. We all feel the pain, whether it be the loss of a child, the loss of a sibling, the loss of a parent or grandparent, even the loss of a friend both human and pet. But they're just sob stories until we are noticed. And not everyone can be noticed with the same equivalence. It's like being the wealthy kid in school with the brand-name clothing. It's a popularity contest.

And it's pathetic.

Pain has no weight. It has no priority. It just is. So why do some people get to express themselves and get so much encouraging feedback, while some do the same and get next to no feedback at all? Because it's all about the weight of pain. How we are able to express ourselves. Good for all of you extroverts! Your pain is validated and you win this invisible contest of popularity, while those of us that have experienced rejection our entire lives get to experience this thing called grief - the exact same way our lives have been.


The Weight of Pain

What is grief if I may, and just what does it weigh?

I feel pain everyday - should grow easy, they say.

Yet I face it alone, with no one to hold me.

It scars to the bone - no one to console me.

I am strong this is true, but so far from okay.

What is grief may I ask, and how long should it last?

I drink from this flask, and reflect on my past...

I am weak, I admit and I'm so full of sh!t

My life is a skit, it's not real - not one bit

I am wrong, I am blue. Just what DOES my pain weigh?


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Novi,

I like your poetry. I like how you can express yourself so openly. Some people read and don't know how to reply. Some people are perhaps shy and can't find the words. I can assure you all are tuned into pain who come here. One reason I come here is because I know I can say whatever is on my mind. If I feel like crying out I do so. If I want to share something I do. It helps me to be able to do that as I go through my journey of grief.

We all come with our own pain. It is like no one elses. It is unique to each of us. This is a safe place to let those feelings out Novi.

Please know you are being heard. Stay here and move along with us as we all journey together in this place of caring and compassion. Anne

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pain never weighs to another what it does to one's self. Our own pain is the greatest because we feel it, we live it, it is ours. I feel I am always alone. It doesn't matter how well I can express myself, I am still alone. This is the one place I can express myself and feel heard, and that is because there are others that get it, others that live it, and thus share it.

Tell me, did you write that yourself? It is an amazing piece.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Novi, my dear, I'm not sure of the source of the anger you felt (or continue to feel) when you posted this message today, but I'd like to think that this is one place where you do not feel measured by the weight of your pain, by how well you express yourself, by how many people like you, by how much attention you gather, or by how popular you are.

Judgments and comparisons and measurements have no place here, and I hope you feel respected and noticed and attended to here.

Every person here has first-hand experience with the grief that follows loss, and we are here solely to accompany and support one another on our individual grief journeys, precisely so that we don't have to bear the weight of our pain alone.

If something has happened that is troubling you, please know that we are here, willing to listen to the details of your story ~ and we will do so without judgment and without reproach. You are not alone.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...