feralfae Posted February 14, 2013 Report Share Posted February 14, 2013 Dear Mary, Thank you for sharing so much about the conversation and shared love with Cathy. You two have a special and cherished bond for sure. As I was reading your post, I had tears in my eyes, because, yes, it is very rare to find another couple where everyone "sees" each other and can share from their hearts. What wonderful memories you two share! Like Kay, I have found that the married couple with whom we shared the most have also pulled back. He is grieving the loss of Doug, and I think his wife is as well. We were actually much closer to him than her. Kay, I am sorry this has happened to you as well. I know how hard it is to lose your husband, and also lose married friends. Mary, how wonderful that there were the four of you who could all meet each other on such a loving level of knowing! Your post is beautiful, and thank you for taking the time to share. Happy Valentine's Day to you. I am glad you are finding comfort and love in the day. *<twinkles>* fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted February 14, 2013 Report Share Posted February 14, 2013 For those who may be interested, this is an interview with Tara Brach, the author of the wonderful piece (Meeting Our Edge and Softening) that Mary posted yesterday: Where Do We Find Peace and Freedom? An Interview with Tara Brach, PhD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted February 14, 2013 Report Share Posted February 14, 2013 To Lighten this Day of Celebrating Loving: This was sent by our friends who are both dentists. Valentine's Day Valentine's Day probably has its origins in the Roman feast of Lupercalia, which was held on February 15. One of the traditions associated with this feast was young men drawing the names of young women whom they would court during the following year--a custom that may have grown into the giving of valentine's cards. Another legend associated with Valentine's Day was the martyrdom of the Christian priest St. Valentine on February 14. The Roman emperor believed that men would remain soldiers longer if they were not married, but Valentine earned the wrath of the emperor by secretly marrying young couples. The first American publisher of valentines was printer and artist Esther Howland, who sold elaborate handmade cards for as much as $35 at the end of the 19th century. Complex and beautiful machine-made cards brought the custom of valentine exchanging within the reach of many Americans. ******************************************************************************** HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY February 14, 2007 Have A Happy Valentine's Day On Valentine's Day, we think of people who have cheered and encouraged us, who go out of their way to be kind and caring, who have enriched our lives just by being themselves. You are such a person. The History of St. Valentine's Day Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured. According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France. While some believe that Valentine's Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial -- which probably occurred around 270 A.D -- others claim that the Christian church may have decided to celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. In ancient Rome, February was the official beginning of spring and was considered a time for purification. Houses were ritually cleansed by sweeping them out and then sprinkling salt and a type of wheat called spelt throughout their interiors. Lupercalia, which began at the ides of February, February 15, was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus. To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification. The boys then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed being touched with the hides because it was believed the strips would make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would then each choose a name out of the urn and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage. Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D. The Roman 'lottery' system for romantic pairing was deemed un-Christian and outlawed. Later, during the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February -- Valentine's Day -- should be a day for romance. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. The greeting, which was written in 1415, is part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England. Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois. In Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the seventeenth century. By the middle of the eighteenth century, it was common for friends and lovers in all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes. By the end of the century, printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings. Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began to sell the first mass-produced valentines in America. According to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated one billion valentine cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. (An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.) Approximately 85 percent of all valentines are purchased by women. In addition to the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France, and Australia. Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages (written Valentine's didn't begin to appear until after 1400), and the oldest known Valentine card is on display at the British Museum. The first commercial Valentine's Day greeting cards produced in the U.S. were created in the 1840s by Esther A. Howland. Howland, known as the Mother of the Valentine, made elaborate creations with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known as "scrap" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted February 14, 2013 Report Share Posted February 14, 2013 For those who may be interested, this is an interview with Tara Brach, the author of the wonderful piece (Meeting Our Edge and Softening) that Mary posted yesterday: Where Do We Find Peace and Freedom? An Interview with Tara Brach, PhD Thank you MartyT, for the link to that wonderful article. I know I need to be more faithful in my practice of mindfulness and RAIN. And in exercising. And in so many things. I am slowly getting there, and also being compassionate with myself when I need days to cocoon and be here, and to simply be. Thank you for a wonderful article and resource. *<twinkles>* fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted February 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2013 Mary, how wonderful that there were the four of you who could all meet each other on such a loving level of knowing! Your post is beautiful, and thank you for taking the time to share. Happy Valentine's Day to you. I am glad you are finding comfort and love in the day. *<twinkles>* fae Thank you, Fae. I am happy to share whatever I can...it helps me and others to share. It also felt so good today to share with Cathy...and know she and I were crying together over email...who would have guessed that was possible. I am blessed to have met Cathy so many years ago. A rare and treasured friendship...I just enjoyed a wonderful time with a great group of women...the youngster in the group turned 65 today and is celebrating Medicare...she is the one who just retired as a forest ranger in the Alaskan wilderness and is looking forward to being here all year round...with a few side trips. I love these women...backgrounds so varied...intelligent and also fun filled conversation. and we got rather loud at one point also. Peace and a peaceful day after all you have been through...addressed in another post. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted February 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2013 For those who may be interested, this is an interview with Tara Brach, the author of the wonderful piece (Meeting Our Edge and Softening) that Mary posted yesterday: Where Do We Find Peace and Freedom? An Interview with Tara Brach, PhD Thanks so much for this, Marty. I will read it this afternoon. In keeping with this, Tara Brach has a weekly lesson available via iTunes...she teaches at the Insight Meditation Community that she founded and it is podcast each week. If you go to iTunes Store and search her name, the page comes up. The talks are wonderful... Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted February 14, 2013 Report Share Posted February 14, 2013 Dear friends, Here is my poem for Jane today. For Jane, Valentine’s 2013 The birds of winter flit from tree to bush To feeder, pecking, flying, landing quick And moving slow as mourning. Snow surrounds Their actions, frames their hungry ambitions. The diamond whiteness eases into gray And cold—and still their souls are warmed by flight And fueled by bits of seed. Night rises soon— A night of cold and snow like grief’s own heart. Your grave is buried. Snow and frost encase The stone and vault. No bird does more than rest A space before it seeks some other spot beyond Its grief. Yet there I stand, my soul entrapped By absent joy and present memory, Scattered diamonds across the snows of loss. I spent the morning at the cemetery, where I built her a snowman and left behind the wreath I built yesterday, her poem, and a card. The daylight hours have slipped away. I don't quite know how. It has not been unpleasant. I seem to have lost myself in inconsequential things. The focus for writing has simply not been there. Maybe later. Peace, Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted February 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2013 Mary, What you and Bill and Cathy and Larry all shared was very special. George and I had a couple friend like that, but they pulled back after he died...they haven't asked me over once since...some just cannot continue once something changes the dynamics. It is good that you and Cathy can still share, the laughter and the tears... Yes, Kay, it is rare...to be heard and loved. I miss that most with Bill, of course. Mary with love Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 14, 2013 Report Share Posted February 14, 2013 Oh Harry, you make me cry! I love your poem! Your writing is exquisite! And I love that you built her a snowman! Maybe I should do that for George, I'm supposed to get some this weekend. I remember the first snow after we got married...this man had so much zest for life, so much personality, he went down in the yard and made a snow angel! I loved it! Of course, I had to join in! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted February 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2013 I spent the morning at the cemetery, where I built her a snowman and left behind the wreath I built yesterday, her poem, and a card. The daylight hours have slipped away. I don't quite know how. It has not been unpleasant. I seem to have lost myself in inconsequential things. The focus for writing has simply not been there. Maybe later. Harry, you are such a feeling man and playful..building a snowman for your love. How tender is that? I know it was a bittersweet morning for you. It is so easy to get lost in "inconsequential things" on days like this. I am just about all over the place today...no focus....scattered in pieces that fly here and there...thoughts, feelings, memories...like watching a slide show that is constantly interrupted by whatever is in the air. I think, truly, this is the first Valentine's Day that has been difficult for me. My lunch with friends was fun and a great distraction but now the roller coaster has once again swung down into a ravine as I am home again...alone with my memories and my sadness....the evening ahead feels long and empty....and tearful. I do not know why this Valentine's Day and not previous ones. Peace Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted February 15, 2013 Report Share Posted February 15, 2013 I understand that feeling about Valentine's Day also mfh. This one is hitting quite hard as well. Last year didn't seem so bad. This is the second one without Kathy and I pulled out the cards she had saved which I had given her for all those years. I put one up next to her with flowers I had bought. Somehow these lilies smell so much more intense. She always loved flowers and I keep fresh ones in the house all of the time. I think she likes that I do. I am leaving Saturday to fly myself to San Diego. (one of our favorite getaways) It will be the second anniversary of her "heaven day" Just killin time till I join her. Have a love filled evening everyone and if you are very still, perhaps you can feel them with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted February 15, 2013 Report Share Posted February 15, 2013 Thank you for sharing your lovely poem to Jane with us Harry. It is beautiful. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted February 15, 2013 Report Share Posted February 15, 2013 Thank you, Harry, for that beautiful and healing poem. I could feel the cold, smell the snow, and the sense of emptiness and silence settled in to me as I read your beautiful poem. Thank you for sharing such a special and personal message. I wish you peace and gentleness this day. *<twinkles>* fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted February 15, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 15, 2013 I understand that feeling about Valentine's Day also mfh. This one is hitting quite hard as well. Last year didn't seem so bad. This is the second one without Kathy and I pulled out the cards she had saved which I had given her for all those years. I put one up next to her with flowers I had bought. Somehow these lilies smell so much more intense. She always loved flowers and I keep fresh ones in the house all of the time. I think she likes that I do. I am leaving Saturday to fly myself to San Diego. (one of our favorite getaways) It will be the second anniversary of her "heaven day" Just killin time till I join her. Have a love filled evening everyone and if you are very still, perhaps you can feel them with you. Dear KATPILOT, The day is over and for me it was another one of those days of lessons and transformation. I do hope you have a safe flight...and that this second anniversary of her " heaven day" finds you experiencing not only sadness but peace in knowing someday you will be reunited. I do believe that the more quiet we become, inside and out, the greater are our chances of feeling them with us. Peace, mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted February 15, 2013 Author Report Share Posted February 15, 2013 For those who may be interested, this is an interview with Tara Brach, the author of the wonderful piece (Meeting Our Edge and Softening) that Mary posted yesterday: Where Do We Find Peace and Freedom? An Interview with Tara Brach, PhD I just finished reading this piece, Marty, and as usual I find Tara full of wisdom and assistance. I followed a link in the piece and also read this piece: http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfulness/2013/02/3-steps-to-evolving-valentines-day-a-day-of-connection-and-compassion/#more-3470 and also found it to be a good Valentine Day practice...maybe for next year or actually as a part of loving kindness practice each day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted February 15, 2013 Report Share Posted February 15, 2013 Katpilot, I think it's sweet that you keep flowers in the house because of her. Those little things we do become a loving tribute to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumkin Posted February 16, 2013 Report Share Posted February 16, 2013 Harry, Thank you so much for sharing that beautiful poem for Jane. I bet Jane smiled down on you while making her a snowman. Peace to you. Pumkin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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