Falling

[MartyT]

Dear Ones, this seems to be an issue for so many of our members this year (including me ) ~ so I'm sharing this timely article with all of you: That Falling Feeling

(And Mary, the advice about bare feet does not apply to you ♥)

See also Fear of Falling

[mfh]

Good piece, Marty. I am surely more aware of falling now. I never thought about it much until I fell just after Bill died and broke two fingers and tore the r cuff. Then these close calls in the kitchen. And when I had pneumonia, I almost fell in the bathtub...weak and lost my balance. The author brought up a good point... if we think about it too much...are we making it a greater risk? If we don't think about it, is that a greater risk? I do wish she would not go barefoot as she mentioned at the end...not a wise idea, is it? :rolleyes:

Thanks for posting this. I think so many of us are at "that age" and need to be aware.

Peace

Mary

[MartyT]

Speaking of being at "that age," here's another gem I just found: The Melody of Our Lives: A Lesson in Aging and Grief, by Stan Goldberg. ♥

[Queeniemary]

With two artificial knees, I have a very definite fear of falling. Not only is it very difficult to regain your feet, with two artificial knees...you have the very real fear of damaging one of them, and having to have one replaced!! Several months ago, just after my first toe surgery, I was at Crystal Bridges Museum in NW Arkansas. My friend and I were preparing to join a tour. Joe needed to make a pit stop, so he had hurried on ahead. I walked from a stone floor, onto a carpeted area, my body was in forward mode, however the boot on my left foot stopped dead on the carpet...sending me flat on my face. I caught myself with dominate hand (bad), but ok, and got a real rug burn on left knee. Knee was sore and bruised, but luckily no further damage. However, this type of thing makes me afraid to do a lot of things. That horrible feeling when you realize you are going down, and there is nothing you can do, is just awful. I can almost fall, and get that same sick feeling. It is all about the fear of damaging something, and perhaps being dependant on others. Good articles, thanks for sharing Marty.

[mfh]

Marty, that piece is phenomenal. I love the last line: "We just need to switch from the accordion to the violin." I am learning that same lesson regarding the loss of Bill. NO ONE can ever ever take his place...not even close, but new relationships (those with very special people, with watercolor, with Bentley) give me fulfillment and joy and in the case of very special people...allow me to hear and be heard. We just need to be open to the gifts life gives us following a huge loss.

The Overture Center in Madison (orchestra hall) has a backdrop of organ pipes that mimic the hill of SW Wisconsin...this piece reminded me of that.

I do comprehend the various losses...I know I can no longer hike at 10,000 feet; cross country skiing and snow shoes may be a memory (not sure yet), staying up late two nights in a row creates a disaster. Today I finally caved realizing March drained me...I checked with the paint group and they are all drained by Easter so art got canceled for tonight. We are all "that age".

Peace, Mary

[mfh]

Mary, I can see why you would be fearful of falling with two replaced knees and close calls. It is no accident (excuse the use of that word ! ) that this topic has come up. Many of us here needed the reminders...about falling, about being careful, and about being aware.

Peace,

the other Mary

[kayc]

I can so relate to this thread! The falls I experienced right after getting laid off (June 2011) were horrendous and had serious repercussions, financial as well as physical. Then taking a dive in the snow/ice this winter even though I "recovered the fall", I still did some damage to my knees. Now I have something going on in my left foot that I don't even KNOW how I did! It is indeed "that age".

I like Mary's "staying up late two nights in a row creates a disaster. " Ha ha! That's a for sure!

[Queeniemary]

Kay, I liked Mary's line also..."Staying up late two nights in a row creates a disaster". I relate to that perfectly!!

Everyone take care...no falling!!!

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

[mfh]

Mary, I had to laugh about you laughing at the idea of staying up late two nights in a row. Here I am at 1am, wide awake. I woke up, could not get back to sleep, so went out to make tea.... and found more water on the kitchen floor. After doing everything in my power to figure it out for the umteenth time, I am going to see if I can sleep. I am extremely frustrated...another mystery here on our forum...I thought I had this licked. The puddle is clear, clean water. The cooler has been gone since Monday when I had the guy remove it. It is now early Thursday morning. There is no water near the sink or refrigerator (bone dry) and no source of water except those two. When I found the water, literally a puddle surrounded completely by dry floor, I was, yes, in bare feet-(when will I remember?)..and my bare toes stepped in the water. It is invisible and I would not have known it was there if I had slippers on...so was that a good thing or a bad thing since I luckily did not slip as only my toes touched the water? Between the disappearing posts here on HOV and the appearing water -mysteries abide. Time to see if I can get sleep.

[Queeniemary]

Mary, I wake up a lot in the middle of the night, and have trouble going back to sleep. Last night was one of those, went to bed about 10, woke up at 2:30 and really never went back to sleep. Just lay there with mind racing.

This mystery of your water in the floor is really interesting. We surely think there has to be a logical explaination, but maybe there is not. We talk about signs......could water on the floor be a sign of some kind? It will be very interesting to see if an answer ever presents itself. I love a good mystery!

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

[mfh]

Well, Christa came this morning as scheduled. My brother hired her a long time ago to help me clean when Bill was so sick and I kept her because I was so exhausted and because I cannot vacuum...if I do my back goes out and I am literally on all fours...it twists my back....an old old problem. So she still comes twice a month...and I love it...today with flowers and chocolate She and I sat there trying to figure (I left the water last night so she could see it also...in so doing I discovered that some of it dried around the edges leaving a powder which leads me to think the dishwasher is leaking as it looks like soap. I had run it earlier in the evening. I don't run it too often...sporadic which would account for how sporadic this water appears but I run it more often than I have found water. ????? So tomorrow I am going to run it and sit there and watch (like I have nothing else to do). There is no sign of water near the dw nor is there any powdery remains. Mary

[kayc]

Mary, I love your emoticons, expressing your confused emotions, I too am dumbfounded! How can water from the dishwasher get AWAY from the dishwasher, you'd think it'd be leading away from it at least. Have you checked the hoses you can see? The dishwasher might have to be pulled out to check it (a job for a maintenance person). Are your loads coming out clean? Do they ever have powder on them? Is the sprayer in the middle getting stuck? My son and I did some troubleshooting on my previous dishwasher (and his dad before that) and they can be confounding...he ended up replacing mine and I've never had problems with the new one.

[mfh]

I have not pulled it out but will AFTER my next tests....run a load and sit there while it washes...I can not imagine it is Bentley but I fell asleep in the chair last night and did not take him out...but he NEVER ever pees in the house since the first week we had him over 9 years ago. It has no odor, it is clear. I love all your questions and will consider each one. I will probably have to call Bob's where I assume the previous owner got it.

The emoticons are all from the list here. Off to walk Bentley. Thank you, Kay

[enna]

First of all I want to start off by saying - I know this is a VERY serious topic and I absolutely do not mean to take it too lightly, Marty, but I think I found out the mystery of the water on the floor at Mary's. I tend to agree with Mary from AK on this ... and Kay, I would leave no stone unturned ... I still think it's Bentley ...

...see how water can be transformed by each individual intention...

"Water is the collective unconsciousness that contain all memories from the beginning." Carl Jung

[feralfae]

Well, we know that we have the ability to alter things by our individual intention, so it is nice to see how water can be altered and how it carries memory.

Now if only we can figure out Mary's water puddle mystery! The problem is how sporadic it seems to be! But if you, Mary, can correlate it with the use of the dishwasher, then you at least have a good direction to explore!

Okay, I am still in my trembling, shaking mode from yesterday and earlier today, so I will just go read posts for a while and feel "with Tribe" until I can find my center again.

Much Love,

fae

[feralfae]

Laughing at the fear of falling information. Very good information. I am very, very careful these days, not wanting to mess up the back when it is almost healed.

The message and posts are so appropriate! Having fallen while not quite climbing, but out of harness, and ending up far below with both arms, skull, knee, ribs, shoulder, and one hand being broken (living with both arms in casts is a challenge!) has left me very careful about falling.

I am fortunate to have both original knees and hips, but I know what a difficult time people can have with replacement joints, AR Mary. Dad did well, but felt very limited as his usual mountain goat self after he had an artificial knee installed. And my friend who has an artificial hip has really worked hard to get her balance and stride back to what she wants it to be.

Now I go to read the "Melody " article.

fae

[feralfae]

Wow!

Violins.

That was one of the most beautiful and timely messages I have read in a while, thank you so much Marty!

It resonated with me in a variety of ways. It helped me to know that I can open my heart to the experiences of joy and life, even if those experiences will now be of a different nature, shared with different loved ones, and arriving through different ways, evoking the joy and happiness I have so often taken for granted as my natural birthright.

Our bodies are different instruments than we were at 20 or 30. We have new skills and insights to bring to our life experiences, however, which lend new richness, color, and beauty to our days. Our awareness is wider, shifted, and more acute. We appreciate the happenings of the days in new ways that hold deeper meaning. We not only play different instruments, but we also hear with different appreciation.

I will ponder on this new insight for a while. I participate in life these days from a new vantage point, and a new sense of understanding. What lies before me will be richer, fuller, and more filled with the layered images of all my experiences that have brought me to this day. It will be all right.

Thank you Marty, for the richness, compassion, and loving fellowship of this fire. I am honored to be in this Tribe.

*<twinkles>*

fae

[kayc]

I am VERY curious to see Anne's video, but alas I have no sound on this computer and it doesn't offer CC option.

[mfh]

Well, there is a slight chance it IS Bentley. He has never had an accident in the house...ever but this could be happening at night. I talked to a friend who is extremely knowledgeable about dogs and cats and I talked to the vet tech and it seems that dog urine will be clear and non-odorous IF the kidneys are not working properly. So I will drop a sample off tomorrow on the way to grooming and pray that it is the dishwasher....now I am very suspicious of Bentley. Not a good birthday gift but I am trying not to think the worst. I will let you know. I doubt I will get an answer tomorrow but I hope I do. He has been lethargic but he is getting older and if I am busy what else is there to do but sleep. He is very responsive when I interact but sometimes when I call him to go in the car, he ignores me.

Pretty scared but trying to be positive,

Had a lovely lunch with 9 friends, cards, gifts, singing the works. Now for a hair cut.

Mary

[kayc]

Oh Mary, do let us know as soon as you find out. I'm glad you had a good lunch with your friends.

[enna]

Dear Mary,

I am so sorry for causing you any concern about Bentley. It was not my intention. When I first brought Benji home I found a wet spot on the kitchen tile and I thought it was an ice cube from the ice maker. No smell and clear. I think what happened is that he was in a strange home and probably didn't know how to wake me. He has done it twice now and I know it is not the ice maker. Benji has been checked out by his vet twice now with blood tests and his kidneys are fine. I feel so terrible to have brought you this concern on your birthday. I am so sorry. Anne

[kayc]

If Bentley is drinking a lot, that could account for it being clear and odorless. If he is consistently drinking excessively, it could be kidney problems but it might be Diabetes...my boss' dog has that but they're able to control it with medicine. Your vet should be able to rule out any problems. My son's dog drinks a lot too but he doesn't have kidney problems.

[mfh]

Anne, I LOVE that video..I eat that stuff up. Thank you for it. And if anything, I am glad you alerted me to the possibility that this puddle stuff is from Bentley so I have him checked out which I do tomorrow....IF I can get him to pee on time. I want to prevent them from having to "take" the urine as it is not pleasant. So do not feel badly as I am glad to know and of course, I am still not sure. I had y hair cut today (I can now see again...) and my gal said her dog went through a pee thing and had a kidney problem but it was in a hundred different places in the house. She also said she had puddle in her kitchen a while back that was not near the sink or dw and so they watched it as I plan to do tonight and it WAS the dw even though it was a few feet away...????? So we shall see. I won't panic. I need info. Thank you.

fae, I am sorry you are having a tough time right now. Just remember we are all here, we have all been through this or for some ...are going through it and we have your back.

Peace,

Mary

[mfh]

Folks,

My former neighbors just stopped (a couple and their 34 year old daughter who was brain damaged at birth and who is so so sweet and lovable. When Bill died, these folks were there and still are and I have been there for them also. Jim is the world's best hugger...as is their daughter and her mom so I have been hugged a LOT today and that has felt so good..how I miss touch...It still makes me weep. Kathy is a wounded healer. I can't begin to tell you how much tragedy she has had in her life...so she gets me big time and I get her and she throws in a lot of humor with the compassion. Two weeks before her college graduation (she is a teacher and the one who started the food pantry where i volunteer) her mom who worked at Land's End, down the road, was killed in a winter car crash coming home from work. That is one in a list of 18 or more that she and I listed one day....all close people. Jim, is a jack of all trades, so I told him my puddle problem. He went over to my cupboard, took out a huge glass, filled it with water, poured it on my floor in front of the dishwasher and we all stood and watched as it went directly to where my puddle has been and as the water in front of the dw dried. I had done that at 1am this morning but I only put down maybe 1/2 cup and it just sat there but he poured perhaps 30 ounces and instantly it ran to "the spot". So it appears I need a new dw but will call the repair guy first. I will still have Bentley's urine tested tomorrow but I suspect it is the dw....that is the best birthday gift ever and I hope to confirm that Bentley is ok.

[feralfae]

Dear Mary,

Gosh, I'd say you had a visit from Angels! Hugs, laughter, shared sorrow, sweetness, and - hurray! a puzzle solved! I am sure Bentley is fine, and just felt bad because he was not able to figure out how to fix this problem for you. I am going to hold that thought until I hear the report tomorrow.

I would send Happy Birthday wishes again, but it appears we have sent sufficient wishes already. *<twinkles>*

I love you so much, and I am so incredibly thankful that I have found this place, you, so many others who touch my heart with healing love. Thank you so very much for your beautiful spirit and heart.

Today, I was starting to worry how Doug's biofamily was going to react to my proposed post to Caring Bridge, where I offer everyone who reads there, and would also send to others, the file numbers of the Courthouse records of our marriage, because of the lies of the nephew and the consternation it is causing with our friends.

It is only a proposed post, not yet posted, asking for prayerful responses and comments from four friends and two of Doug's family who were compassionate to me when Doug escaped. But I imagine it is getting around, and today, as I began to feel weak and susceptible to their anger energy, I realized that I could go inside my golden egg filled with white light, and if they direct bad feelings toward me, they will simply feel white light where they send mean thoughts. A nice practice I learned as a young adult, but not very well. I am becoming much better at it these days. I am surrounded by healing, loving, protecting, and restoring light. And I will try to remember to be here more often.

As Doug instructed me concerning his family, I am not allowed to show them mercy, but must "let logic roll." So many things are happening just as Doug said they would. I am in awe.

*<twinkles>*

fae