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Comfort For The Crazy

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Ever since my wife died in April I have lost what little sanity I may have had before that dark day.

Every clear night I step outside my front door and talk to a specific star in the heavens. It's a star that I picked out shortly after Jeannie's death.

Strangely enough it gives me great comfort to be able to still talk to her and tell her how much I still love her. I know it's crazy and not possible, but somehow that bright star tells me that she still loves me and will patiently wait for me to join her again.

I hate the overcast nights when I can't see her star, but lately most nights have been bright and clear.

To look at me you might think I was a "normal" sane person - I guess one can't always tell a book by its cover - Thankfully :-)

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A star..Jeannie's star! A place that you know every night you and Jeannie gaze upon at the same moment. It's the place that your love shines for each other.....where Jeannie whispers quietly to your heart. God used a star a long time ago to announce his gift of love. For special moments each clear night you and Jeannie share your very wonderful meeting spot. Jeannie deserves nothing less than a special star just for her. And when time reunites you and Jeannie that star will still be shinning tho brighter because the circle of your love will be absolutely complete forever. You and Jeannie are FOREVER!

There will be a time when we are happy again. For most of us "left behind" it will not be as long as there is breathe left here on earth. I too look at the night skies. It's not a star but a silly little cluster of stars that I always thought was the little dipper and countless times Gene pointed out that it was not. It's "my little dipper" and I know Gene meets me there. It brings me peace to talk to him there...I know he's watching too, he hears me, he knows I love him.

I don't know why or how any of us survive this unending pain each moment. I know our love goes on forever....the pain will not. I know that what my soul searches for twinkles in the sky.

Walt...I wish you clear nights and peaceful moments....love under the twinkling stars that bond you and Jeannie.

Always Gene!


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I like that idea, it is neat to think that we could be looking upon the same heavens at the same time.

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Walt, I don't think it's crazy, I think it is wonderful that you can do that and find comfort in it. Recently I had doctor's appointment, I was afraidn it could be something serious - but it wasn't. I was surprised by how peaceful I felt as I was waiting there, and when I was leaving, I thought how happy I am to have Janez in my life! In the same moment I asked myself - where did this thought come from, don't I know he died?!?! But I felt he's there with me, felt more that his presence, it was like he was there telling me I would be fine ...

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Hello all-

It has been a while since I have posted anything. Seeing your post Walt made me think of my Larry. I was actually just going through some pictures of him. I think finding a star is something completely normal. Maybe it has something to do with the sparkle or the innocence and purity a star is. While Larry was in Iraq he really got into looking at the stars. He even picked one out for us to look at so no matter how far apart we were, we were both sharing something. Our star is the middle of Orion's Belt. After he died I could not see it for a while, but about a month later it was back. Lately I have forgotten some about looking for it (living in the city makes it hard to find!) but your post brought back a fond memory- Thank You.

Take Care and Be Strong,


P.S. Hi Spela- Haven't chatted with you in a while. Hope all is well as can be expected. Hope to talk to you soon! Thinking of you.

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Dear Ones,

Like you, I love the notion of looking up and finding our loved ones in the heavens, somewhere out there amongst the stars. When my dear father died, I remembered this beautiful quotation by William Shakespeare, which I had printed on his memorial card:

When he shall die,

Take him and cut him out in little stars,

And he will make the face of heaven so fine

That all the world will be in love with night,

And pay no worship to the garish sun.

— Romeo and Juliet, Act 3, Scene 2

And there is this, from an Eskimo legend:

Perhaps they are not stars in the sky,

but rather openings

where our loved ones shine down

to let us know

they are happy.

I found this one day on a Hallmark greeting card, attributed to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:

Stars are the forget-me-knots of angels

in the meadow of heaven.

And there is this, from The Little Prince, by Antoine De Saint-Exupery:

You — and you alone — will have stars as no one else has them.

In one of them I shall be laughing.

And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing

when you look at the sky at night.

You — only you — will have stars that can laugh!

And when your sorrow is comforted (time soothes all sorrows),

you will be content that you have known me.

Wishing you peace and healing,

Marty T

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