ShanN Posted May 1, 2013 Report Share Posted May 1, 2013 I just turned 40. My husband is away in a nursing home. I have just begun treatment for cancer. I lay awake at 1:45 in the morning ACHING for my Mama. She should be here with me. Not my SIL. I should still have her here. I feel like a little girl again. Scared, tired, alone, sick. And my step father killing her when I was 15... Has robbed me of her and is robbing me of her when I have never needed her more. Only a Mom can "make it better" for certain times. And now is one of those times. When my Nana was dying from cancer, she told me whenever I needed her or missed her to put my hand on my heart and breathe and she would be there. I hold my hand on my heart tonight and tears are flowing from my eyes. I am trying to feel both my Nana and my Mom here. I think I do... But in a way that's just not enough. Mothers Day is coming and that is one of the most difficult days for me missing my Mama AND my Nana. They were so alike. They looked so much alike. No one compares to them. I know though with my hand here on my heart, that my Mama and her Mama are together and that is comforting. I better try again to rest.... 6am comes fast. Second chemo treatment. After bloodwork. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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