New Start Posted June 14, 2013 Report Share Posted June 14, 2013 This will not be the first Father's Day without my dad because he was in the military an was shipped out at times an lived out of state for years. However it will be the first one knowing i will never be able to talk with him, give him a gift or go out to the restaurant an play cards. It is quite different knowing he has died. Has been two months yesterday an i am in an emotional maze. Am not looking forward to Fathers day an cannot even look at a card. Even watching the commercials is not easy. Am planning to go visit the cemetery on Sunday an have mixed feelings. Be glad to see Monday. How does others handle the day after seeing their dad die? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted June 14, 2013 Report Share Posted June 14, 2013 My friend, Father's Day is indeed one of those holidays that can hurt, but there are steps you can take to make it easier on yourself. If you're open to suggestions, I invite you to take a look at some of the articles posted here: Father's Day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted June 14, 2013 Report Share Posted June 14, 2013 New Start, There just is no easy way to deal with this Sunday. I understand the feeling of realizing that you will never talk with him again or doing any of those things you remember. I lost my dad and this will be the second fathers day without him. Since my wife died a year before he did, I was too overwhelmed with grief of her passing that it didn't really hit me till this year. . Even though we miss them it sometimes helps to remember the circle of life. We come, we live, we leave. I think of my two sons and wonder what it will be like for them. I know it sounds strange but then I wonder what it will be like for their children. Maybe by honoring their memories, we can find a little peace in our hearts for them. My dad was my biggest fan and now this Sunday I realize that I will be thinking of him far more than for myself. I suppose I am just now starting to feel the pain of his leaving. I also will remember my father in law who not only lost his daughter two years ago but lost his wife last mothers day. I spent fathers day last year with him so he would not be alone. He died in October and I just remember how kind he was to me. Anyway, as they say life goes on. Even if at times it does hold a lot of sorrow. I hope Sunday turns out to be not as hard as you fear and that you can maybe find some peace knowing he still exists inside you. Stephen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 14, 2013 Report Share Posted June 14, 2013 Have you thought of buying him a card anyway, and writing in it and taking it to the cemetery and reading it aloud to him? Marty included a link that I hope you will visit and read. Yes it will be a hard day, not like spending the day with him would have been, but there are still ways we can include and honor them even while they're not here in physical form. Maybe order their favorite meal and eat it in honor of them, spend the day doing what he would have enjoyed doing, still express your sentiments to him. I know, this is hard if you're not used to it, but none of us are too old to learn to express ourselves, even if it's new to us. And for what you can't express, be assured that he knows. Do let us know how you decide to handle it...my thoughts are with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New Start Posted June 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 17, 2013 I made it to the cemetery two hours ago. Today marks 10 weeks since he died. Still to painful an i really don't want to go thru this. It has been a hard day. Took photos of the grave site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 17, 2013 Report Share Posted June 17, 2013 It seems hard to me to visit a cemetery. That's why, when my husband died, I had him cremated and two years later scattered his ashes in our back yard, under a tree. I can look out over the yard and know he's there. It will be hard one day when I have to move though. My own dad is buried in a cemetery. So is my MIL an FIL, and it's very hard to visit there, I don't know why, maybe because the cemetery is all about death and burial, whereas my own back yard has been filled with life and existence over the years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted June 18, 2013 Report Share Posted June 18, 2013 I suppose I'm lucky because a cemetary is a hard place for me to go. I like having Kathy in the house with me. You know KaC, It is nice that he is under the tree and that you can look out and just know he is there. I think if you ever have to leave there, take some of the earth from that area with you. His essence is all around. You do know of course that he will follow you wherever you go....... New Start, I hope you find a little peace today. Only in time can you see yourself become stronger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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