First Father's Day Without My Dad

[SunShine3]

This is going to be the first Father's Day without my dad here, and it's becoming more difficult as it approaches. I'm not sure what to do with myself this Sunday, I feel that I need to celebrate even though he's not alive. But I don't know how to do this, I can't celebrate or enjoy this holiday as ones around me or as I once did. It's becoming more straining on me as I see the advertisements and as friends and family are preparing. I'm left out, I stand alone around others and their parents and seem oddly misplaced among them. Is it okay that I still celebrate, and how should I? I guess this is just another first experience with this new life, without my father. I love you Dad, and happy early Father's Day! I miss you..

[hockeymom]

You absolutely should still celebrate. On my grandmother's first birthday without her here we all wrote her individual notes. We tied them to balloons and found the highest spot we could and let them go. There was a break in the clouds where the light was shining down and my son said to me the mailman reached down through the clouds to take them to Gee Gee.

[MartyT]

SunShine, as I just mentioned in another thread, many adult children whose fathers have died have shared the creative ways they've found to honor their beloved dads on this special day, and you'll find links to their writings here: Father's Day ♥

[kayc]

SunShine,

My sweet beloved husband passed away on Father's Day eight years ago. Today is his birthday. My kids go to celebrate Father's Day with their dad (we were divorced) so that I am alone every year on the anniversary of his death. I have had to face and tackle each anv. of his death alone.

I make a pie for the other fathers in my church (each one gets a pie on Father's Day) and I do so with George in mind. When he lay dying in the hospital, he was worrying about getting his pie. I think someone up in heaven, most likely my MIL, is making him one of his own until I get there. I think about him. The first year, I put messages in balloons and released them. They went up and popped and came back down, messages and all. It made me laugh for a moment, as I thought it might be his way of getting me too...I hadn't expected them back! But as Marty has shared, there are different ways we honor them...some light candles, some go to a place special to them, some celebrate the day doing what they would have enjoyed.

[KATPILOT]

Kay, I realize reading this what an emotional time this must be for you. I don't doubt at all that he received the messages and sending them back to you was his way of responding. That was truly a sweet story. Thanks for sharing that.

You know, after Kathy was gone I learned to bake. It was a way of honoring her because she was a terriefic cook and if I ever wanted to taste them again I was just going to have to learn. I may have to plan for days, and set out all the bowls and ingridients the night before but when I follow the recipies exactly, it works out. I know she is with me when I do this. Trouble is all the weight I have gained during the last year.

So to you Kay and Sun Shine, may you have some peace on Sunday.

And here's to all the dads looking down from above

[kayc]

I like to bake too and understand the added pounds. I made a strawberry -rhubarb pie yesterday for my son and he thoroughly loved it. I also fixed a Basmati Rice dish for lunch and Noodles Alfredo for dinner. He's here for a couple of days and it's nice to have someone to cook for!