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Coming Up On 1 Year


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This is my first time to post here and I am needing some words of ... something.

A year ago on November 28 we had to have our beloved Terrier Mix, Abby pts because of Congestive Heart Failure.

My world ended that day. I love my husband and kids and Grandson (who lives to far away for me to see hardly once a year) but Abby was my soul mate, my world. She gave me more of everything that I needed then anyone or anything else in my life. To be honest, I'm surprised I am still alive myself because I was happy and content for God to take me then also....but He didn't.

Somehow I have continued on but there are days, many days when I'd be happy yet to go. I believe in Rainbow Bridge and that Abby and I will be together again one day so there are days when I want to go now. I don't know how I'm going to manage the 27th, the night before when we held her in our arms all night to keep her breathing and comfortable, and the 28th, the day the Vet said she was suffering as her lungs had filled with blood and fluid, and put her to sleep. She died in my husbands arms with me holding her sweet precious face in my hands, kissing her head.

That was last November and it took until August for me to stop crying and now as I approach her 1 year death anniversary, I am feeling the same pain and heartbreak.

Thanks for listening.

Jwatrlily [attachmentid=14][attachmentid=15]


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She gave me more of everything that I needed then anyone or anything else in my life.it took until August for me to stop crying and now as I approach her 1 year death anniversary, I am feeling the same pain and heartbreak.

Dear Jwartrily,

I'm very sorry for your heartbreak with the loss of your beloved Abby. You sound like me, taking a long time to stop crying ( although it took me even longer, actually ), and finding your beloved furbaby was your soulmate who gave you more of what you felt you needed in this world than anyone else did/does. It was and is the same for me with my Sabin (cat). So it doesn't surprise me to hear you say that this one-year anniversary is so hard for you. I was a mess for anniversaries 1 through 3. However, it's also perfectly and absolutely normal for anniversaries, birthdays and other occasions to bring up the same intense feelings as when we first lost our beloved ones. While it may help some to know this is completely common, I think what we really want is something to just take that intense pain away, or at least dull it to where we had progressed to before. Unfortunately, there is no easy out and one must just allow those feelings to surface - hence the truism about there not being any way around grief, but only through it. It's just as true on each important date, or any other time that arises, as it is in the beginning.

I think it's very important on such dates to honour both our feelings and our loved one by taking time out to do something special to help you get through it. For me, I'd take the phone off the hook, play my CD of sad and poignant 'grief' songs, sometimes write in a journal for Sabin, light a candle to bring him close and generally just give myself full permission to feel as lousy as I was going to feel anyway...plus give my husband the head's-up about how I would be feeling and what my plans were to memorialize Sabin for the day....so that he would understand my mood and try not to do anything to upset me further that day! ( doesn't always work, but it's worth a shot! ) I've noticed a number of people also use these boards on those days, as a means of letting out some of those emotions that plague us on difficult days.

I'm glad you've found this board and hope you can find compassionate hearts and helpful suggestions here, whenever you need them, for whatever part of your journey. No one comes to these places unless we're needing some help in some way, so you're not alone in that need. I hope the 27th and 28th will be days that bring more healing for you, no matter how it feels in the moment.

Edited by Maylissa
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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest Guest_jwatrlily_*

You, Abby and my Sandy Clarese have given me a gift. My Sandy Clarese looks exactly like your Abby.

Thank you.

Hi Lita,

Has your Sandy Clarese also went on to Rainbow Bridge ahead of you? Please tell me more about her because I have never found another person who had a baby that looked like my Abby. If my posting her picture brought you some comfort then Abby and I are happy about that.





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  • 3 weeks later...

I am so sorry for your loss of your soulmate, Abby. How are you doing with the anniversary? I hope that you did fine. I know exactly how you feel. Feb 2006 will mark the second anniversary for my dog Oscar, and the first anniversary of my other dog Itchy. I've lost both my dogs within a year of each other. I won't go for walks anymore, without them. Have you thought of adopting another dog? I know no animal will replace the ones that we lose. I would adopted another dog, but I'm caretaker for my parents and my step-mother doesn't want me to get another dog. It's very difficult for me. I miss my dogs, they were both my soulmates. I know how much you love Abby, from your description of her. But you did choose the best thing for her. I also believe in Rainbow Bridge, it sounds like heaven to me. I know one day I will be reunited with my human loved ones and my dogs. Best wishes for the upcoming year.

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You have my condolences. I just lost my beloved pommie, Sweetie, on January 4, 2006 to drowning. I don't know what happened, but I went into the back yard looking for her and found her in the fountain. This is the 3rd pet I have lost during the holidays. I know that January 4, 2007 will be difficult for me. I am attempting to cope day by day, but it's difficult to look into the back yard and having to look at the fountain. She also LOVED to lay in the back yard under the lemon tree.

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