feralfae Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Dear Mary, I am so sorry to hear more about the fatigue. I know I still have bouts of it, and I know for many of us it is related to the years of being on constant call and alert. I will ask SSK for some healing things for you when she returns fro kayaking. She taches the use of flower essences, as well as being a botanist who titrates compounds, and I know she mentioned something called Rescue that is an herbal remedy for high cortisol and adrenalin in stressed bodies, and I have used it for about a year now with good results. It is not an overnight cure, but it helps. Mary, you are one of the most compassionate people I know, and I hope you are giving yourself the biggest dose of compassion, resting and indulging yourself in all ways, and pampering yourself as well. No matter how we may perceive our burden as less or more than others, we still have it in our power to make the best of each day to nurture and care for the most precious person we know: us, individually. I thing when we are so tired, it is difficult to find our joy, to have enthusiasm about life and its gifts, and to feel what we need. So, once again, I know every one joins me in nagging you .... GET MORE REST!!! SLOW DOWN!!! You have a lot going on, and maybe it is time to schedule a couple on one-hour rest times each day when you are not allowed to do anything on any lists, but only sit quietly with yourself and love yourself. Sorry to sound preachy, but Mary, please give yourself ten times the compassion and caring you give Bentley, and all of us here, please. *<twinkles>* fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 ... and if Anne comes here and reads these messages: Dearest Anne, I am sending lots of love and *<fairy dust>* to you, and also breathing a sigh of relief that you have a good team and people you trust, and what begins to sound more like a team plan for your heart. Stay cool and enjoy the misters and pool. I saw a lynx a while ago, sitting by the road, watching the cars go by. I am happy to report no moose today, but more caribou. No bears. Now I am in a small town which routinely has moose walking down the main street, which is also the Alcan. Most definitely not in Kansas. {{{hugs}}} Much Love, *<twinkles>* and all blessings. fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Mary, I am so sorry that you are having those health issues. You know how important it is to slow your pace. We all forget, because I think we think we are invinceable. Your RA markers will make you tired. Bones and joints can be compromised in all that humidity you are in - AZ is dry and would be good for you to visit! Seriously, it is very important that you are in good physical health before those surgeries you have coming up in July and August. I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and concern we have on this forum. We could write a book and how it would sell! I spent most of a better part of three hours filling out paper work and touring the Doggy Resort Benji will be staying at for a few days. Good references and this place is where my grand dog, Fred, stays when folks are out of town. Both Pat & Jerry will be out of town and I really don't want someone coming into the house just to check on Benji. At the doggy resort he'll be well cared for, he'll play and socialize, he will even get a bath, a shampoo, and an ice cream treat. Oh, did I tell you that they even have TVs in each of the rooms!!! A few pictures will give you a visual of this place - it's called Pete & Mac's Doggy Resort. I am scared about them going into my heart on Monday, but I'm hopeful that we can get this setback stable. Mary, we are watching you..... Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted June 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 fae and Anne, I really do believe this extreme fatigue which is on going is the result of the 5 years of caregiving with all the stress, publishing the Voice, seeing clients in Madison and running the house...all at once and the worst of it...watching Bill slowly die...a leaf at a time off the tree. Then the 3 years of grief and all the runninig about I have done. BUT, I guess I expected by now I would feel better after 3 months of putting on brakes...really putting them on...but I feel worse. Maybe my whole being is just now letting down...finally. I feel paralyzed at time with depletion and exhaustion. So the blood tests will help me understand. Anne, I KNOW you are scared about those tests on Monday and maybe Tuesday...I know that the thought of them probing your heart scare the begeebers out of you and I get it. I can't take away your fear but I can share it with you. Remember they do hundreds of these daily in our hospitals and they know what they are doing esp at a cardiac center. And i know that does not relieve your fear at all but grab on to it for a bit of support. I will await a call from your and/or Otto and post accordingly. I will be around this weekend...I will go to the art fair with my Alaska (she is home now) friend. No fae, another friend I am here for you, Anne. Love Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted June 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Mary, you are one of the most compassionate people I know, and I hope you are giving yourself the biggest dose of compassion, resting and indulging yourself in all ways, and pampering yourself as well. No matter how we may perceive our burden as less or more than others, we still have it in our power to make the best of each day to nurture and care for the most precious person we know: us, individually. I think when we are so tired, it is difficult to find our joy, to have enthusiasm about life and its gifts, and to feel what we need. So, once again, I know every one joins me in nagging you ....GET MORE REST!!! SLOW DOWN!!! You have a lot going on, and maybe it is time to schedule a couple on one-hour rest times each day when you are not allowed to do anything on any lists, but only sit quietly with yourself and love yourself. Sorry to sound preachy, but Mary, please give yourself ten times the compassion and caring you give Bentley, and all of us here, please Hi fae, thank you for your concern. I do use Rescue and have a version, non-alcoholic, for Bentley also. I agree, my fatigue prevents joy and even laughter as I just want to cry from fatigue...like tonight and my legs are throbbing and I barely walked today...maybe a mile at most. I am thinking of getting a series of massages to stimulate toxin removal and muscle relaxation...I have a skilled massage therapist here in town. I AM resting. I have slowed down...truly...a LOT...if I slow down any more I won't move. I nap eveyr day, sometimes twice. I diddle a lot. I thank you for your support and compassion. Thank you. NOW you drive carefully...we want you home safely. Love, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Oh tiredness. It's really got me too lately, as you know, Mary. But I hadn't realised how you were suffering because when I moan to you, you reach out to me in a positive way. I feel more tired now than I did soon after Pete died, and after the frenetic pace I kept up after he had the stroke (seven months of activity like I had never known, and then rushing about looking after our daughter and new baby). But I suppose I had expected the tired ness would have eased by now. Next week I am 72 and I feel it, which is more than I ever did (feel my age I mean). I suppose we need to give ourselves permission to rest. I'm glad you are getting tests done, Mary. I should think that it's just everything catching up with you. After Bill died you never let up did you? Doing the Voice all that time must have taken so much out of you, and you still sound pretty busy to me. But the worry of the eye operation is bearing down on you. We can all hear that even though you are so stoical. We will all be glad when that is over , and successful. Let us all make a resolution to make a positive rather than a negative thing of resting. That is a hard thing for me, as I've always defined myself by activity, but I have to be different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 A very important insight, Jan ~ thank you for that ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted June 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Jan, I do like the thought of naps being positive and not viewed as a negative thing resulting from age or whatever we consider to be negative. I had to laugh at my doctor yesterday, as I also reached out to him. He can't do the Tour de France any longer...as he has an irregular heart beat from too much exercise. I laughed because he was laughing...he knows I hate exercise but do walk and stretch and do Tai Chi...and he thrives on it biking 100 miles many days a week....and who is the one...20 years old than he...who has never been in a hospital over night. We also talked about aging and how challenging that can be. I know your birthday, a wedding and an anniversary are in front of you...and more child care with the grands...so take it a day at time and YES, naps. I am a believer and yesterday I slept 2 hours in the afternoon...a record. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 fae, thinking of you as you drive home. No moose, huh? How come no one ever wants to see moose? I haven't seen one, would love to, not too close up though. Are they bigger than elk? Mary, do slow down, less outings maybe, regular naps...what is going on with your legs? I'm sorry you're having health problems too, so many here seem to be. Anne, I firmly believe all is going to go well for you and you will get this under control. I'm so glad you like the doggy resort, wow, so that's how the other half lives! I have to go to Portland and back Sat. night (350 miles) and Arlie will be in his pen, not used to being in there in the evening and I'm worried about him missing his walk and quality time...a neighbor said he'd check on him, maybe give him a ride, I won't be home until probably midnight. I hate that, esp. since I have to be at Morning Worship Team practice early the next morning. I don't have the stamina I once did. We're all finding that out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted June 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Kay, moose are gigantic....you do not want to hit one in your car. We had them in CO. We also had elk and one day a herd of them was thundering across the highway near our home. Big animals and dangerous if you get cornered. We had elk, moose, mule deer, bear, mountain lions in our yard and had to be out WITH our dog to keep him safe. One thing I did NOT enjoy there. Kay, I have REALLY slowed down. I was home alone from noon last Friday until Tuesday a.m. I call that really slow. I did not do anything strenuous. Tuesday I was busy but nothing strenuous. I am thinking it is all coming to a head.....physically, I mean. Bill and I led an active life in the sense of being on the go...hiking, road trips, long walks, no party stuff...hate that, but we went a lot doing quiet things. Then when he was sick we did Mayo a few times, lots of local MD appointments and his decline-stress big time. Then his death and I ran hard staying busy even though when I was home I was doing my grief work but now in hindsight I see that I always had an escape hatch...now I do not. I pick and choose what I do...very carefully. If I am unsure...I stay home. So we shall see. Mark said my D was low a year ago so I know that is an issue and he recommended 2000 mg of D but he seemed unclear about D, D2, D3...so I have to research that. I feel I have to rebuild my body. It is, like my soul, depleted. Kay, I hope the 350 is round trip. 700 is WAY too much for one day. I do know how hard it is to leave our pups...like leaving a child home alone. Drive carefully at night...the moose are out it is mating time. When we have rut time here in November...the roads are a danger as the deer here run out in front of cars. In CO they actually stood at the side of the roads and waited....REALLY!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Dear Mary, Thank you so very much for keeping us all in the loop! Now to write to Anne, fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted June 29, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 29, 2013 Anne will have one of two people call me on Monday to update me and let me (and then you) know that she is ok. I will report ASAP...but I will be a bit out of range in the country at an Amish farm for a short while...not long. fae, where are you tonight? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 30, 2013 Report Share Posted June 30, 2013 I was just wondering how a moose compared to an elk. We have tons of elk, but they don't usually run into your vehicle...I did have one that did once though, I figure it must have gotten spooked because it flipped around right into my truck at the last second, and that is out of character for them. Usually they are level-headed thinking creatures, unlike deer that flit around like they haven't a brain in their heads. I've had run ins with bear, deer, elk, just no moose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 Apropos of something Anne wrote, I think: Resting is taking a mini vacation to restore our mind, spirit and body. Even resting for fifteen minutes can be a mini vacation. An hour vacation is better than an hour at the CAI. Ha! I vote for lots of mini vacations for us all! My Aunt Faye used to sit for a half hour and look at art books, and she called it her time away from time. We are all needing more of these little vacations. Sort of resting in neutral, with no objective, no projects, no worrying: just vacationing for a bit to let restoration take place. Mini vacations. Much love, *<twinkles>* fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest babylady Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 good luck anne. i haven't been around here as much as i should. you did tell me in a PM that you were having some heart problems. i didn't realize how serious. sending you positive thoughts and a hug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 Dear Friends, I am assuming Anne has left for the hospital...and was driven by a friend. Based on the series of emails she sent during the night...contents and number...I know she had a tough nightl, awake for most of it, and pretty frightened. So let us all send healing energy to her today...as I know we will. I do not know what time I will hear from her friend but will post. Though I know Anne is hoping this is a one day event, it is pretty clear to me that they will most likely keep her overnight. She dropped Benji off at a great resort (we should be so lucky to have what dogs have) and the vet previous to her dropping him off gave her a great report. So let us hope that Anne also gets good news and they these tests reveal something that can be dealt with more effectively than has been in the past many months. Peace, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 Thank you, Mary, and yes, we are hoping with you, and sending that healing energy to Anne . . . ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 My neighbor told me last night he wants to come back as his dog. I think I'd opt for that too. I bet Benji is having a great time and will be ready for his mom as soon as she can be back with him. My thoughts have been on Anne today, even while working. Praying that they find what they need to know so they can best take care of her for us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 It is 3:30 pm here (1:30 in AZ where Anne is). i just got home from having my Amish clockmaker here looking at Bill's clocks and taking them with him to repair and hoped when I got back into cell phone zone that I would hear from Anne's friend but so far nothing. I know they were doing two tests today and maybe putting a stent in her heart if they discovered they needed to do that. A third possible test is upcoming based on these today. I have my laptop on and am not going anywhere now so I will post as soon as i hear something. I have the name of the hospital so if it gets to be evening in AZ and I have not heard...I WILL call. But her friend is well informed about calling me or emailing me. Wish I had something for you all. I am weary...my electrician showed up unexpectedly and early and was here for a while putting in some outlets outside and a dimmer switch. I asked him for the name of a handyman and he (at 81) gave me the name of his buddy, age 83, and if he is as good as the electrician...I will be in good shape. It was sort of difficult today showing Jonas Bill's clocks, having him getting them going, seeing them off to his shop....I also know Bill would be glad I am looking after them. Peace Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 Mary, you are fortunate if you get the name of a good handyman, something I'm sure all of us wish we had. It's hard finding someone that doesn't want to rip you off just because you're a woman. Yikes! Still waiting, as all of us are, on word of Anne... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 Actually, Kay, we have some really good handy men. I have a list of several...and keep collecting them. I am so spoiled as Bill did it all and did it so well and before I hardly knew it needed repair. I am grateful. This guy today was so funny. He talks...and talks...and talks...as did my painter...we shall see if the handyman does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 1, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 I was just getting ready to call the hospital when Anne called me at 5:50 central time, 3:50 AZ time. She was still groggy she said but did not sound groggy. She did sound more relaxed than she usually sounds. They did a cardiac left and right catherization where they go into the heart to see if there is narrowing that required stents. There was narrowing but did not require stents. Test 2- took tissue of the heart muscle for biopsy. No results yet. She does not know if she needs the third test yet. Depends on these results. She was able to be discharged today because they used a new device called an angio-seal vascular closure device which means there is less bleed and this dissolves on its own in the body. This instead of having to have firm pressure for 6 hours. So she is home, says she is groggy, cannot bend or lift 6 pounds for 4 days. If she develops a hardness at the point of entry for the cath...that is an emergency. Benji will be picked up tomorrow by Jim's daughter who will also be available all day tomorrow and tonight will fix her a light supper. So far, so good. She will log on later....to see if I said what she wanted However, she did not tell me what to say....so I can't go wrong. Anne, we are all grateful the tests went well and you can now relax a little bit. Peace, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest babylady Posted July 1, 2013 Report Share Posted July 1, 2013 thanks for the update. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 2, 2013 Report Share Posted July 2, 2013 Thank you so much for the update, Mary ~ and Anne, we're so relieved that you are HOME. Now rest! ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumkin Posted July 2, 2013 Report Share Posted July 2, 2013 Praying for Anne all day. Thank God she is home safely and will be reunited with Benji. Thank you so very much for your update. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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