kayc Posted July 16, 2013 Report Share Posted July 16, 2013 Oh Mary, it seems you are always counseling others, whether on the clock or not. Even getting trees planted! I know when I lost George it was "all about me" for a long time, I'm sure I tired my sisters, kids, etc. but it does take time. When you are in extreme pain, that is all you can see/feel. But I do know that here we share openly and that helps others that are going through this journey. Anne, you are always blessing us, so are you Mary, and fae! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 16, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 16, 2013 First of all thank you for all your kind comments. I will reply to those later. I have to take a deep breath before I plunge into this bit of good news. I do not believe in miracles but I do believe that we are being watched over and cared for and protected by a force far greater than ourselves. I also believe that situations come into our lives and there are no explanations for them. Today I had my post hospital visit with my cardiologist. I won’t give a full account but the bottom line is - the doctor is happy with all results that they explored when in my heart. Today my EKG was ok. Yes, I have heart failure, yes I still have high B/P and rapid heart rate but my heart is healthy except for the thickening muscle around the heart which causes the blood to pump out of the left ventricular slower than it should and they are going to continue to work on lowering those vitals with meds. I do have to see a pulmonologist to check for full lung function but my kidneys are not a concern to him at this time. The best news and this had me in tears – I do not have to go back for three months! Someone is watching over me…. I also have the go-a-head to fly. It has been way too long for that news. This is a gift that I was not expecting especially after the last seven/eight months! Tonight I am grateful and I really do think someone is watching over me. Yes, those of you who know me – I am crying happy tears. I am taking this time to thank all of you who have had me on your ‘prayer’ list. Don’t take me off just yet. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 17, 2013 Report Share Posted July 17, 2013 Oh Mary, it seems you are always counseling others, whether on the clock or not. Even getting trees planted! I know when I lost George it was "all about me" for a long time, I'm sure I tired my sisters, kids, etc. but it does take time. When you are in extreme pain, that is all you can see/feel. But I do know that here we share openly and that helps others that are going through this journey. Anne, you are always blessing us, so are you Mary, and fae! Kay, Bill and I bought some stuff out there several years ago at that nursery and so when I returned I learned about her husband about a month ago. So today I asked her if she wanted to just let the young man do the digging so she could talk about what is going on now with her husband and his Dx of Alzheimer's. Just a gesture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 17, 2013 Report Share Posted July 17, 2013 Anne, this is the best possible news. I am so relieved on your behalf and i know you have wanted to fly to see your daughter also. Congratulations!!!! We are all dancing with you. I am sorry I could not talk when you called. I was in a place I rarely go...a bar. Our art group decided to get a burger after our art group tonight...something we have never done. So, of course that was fun. So we went to this local small town bar as we were painting in Plain which is 10 miles from Spring Green (we have an exhibit there now) and there is not a restaurant in the town but there are 4, count them, 4 bars. Welcome to rural Wisconsin. Noisy...loud...fun....good company...glad to leave. Kathy, on of our group seemed to know all these men at the bar (about 8 of them). So I asked her how she knew them all....she said they were all her students when they were in Middle School. One was my tree guy. A beer and burger and we were all out of there after an hour. I will return your call shortly. Again, I am delighted with your news. 3 months...wow. You won't know what to do with your time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted July 17, 2013 Report Share Posted July 17, 2013 Dear Anne, This is truly wonderful news--especially the three months between visits. Take that deep breath you have been holding off on and let it out. Be well. Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted July 17, 2013 Report Share Posted July 17, 2013 Anne I just read the email you sent me (7.25 am here). I am so happy for you. Yes Jim is with you. Oh such good news for a change. I am so happy for you. Keep taking care of your precious self. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 17, 2013 Report Share Posted July 17, 2013 Yes! Dancing, jumping up and down, shouting for joy ~ All of that, and more! So happy for you, dear Anne! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 17, 2013 Report Share Posted July 17, 2013 Anne, That is such great news! I was driving home from work when you posted it...when I got home I walked Arlie and then collapsed...waking only when it stormed in the middle of the night. I want to reiterate that you can call me any time. Do you have my cell number as well as my home number? You may not call it a miracle, but that's what I call something for which there is no explanation that results in good. We are all so elated...now, when are you jumping on a plane? Don't worry, our prayers for you are continuing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 17, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2013 Wow! I’m going to try and play ‘catch up’ to all your kind posts – first of all, Marty – I also like the name of my thread. I like the whole idea of ‘being in this together’ – it makes our journeys less lonely and scary. I like the idea that we can openly talk about our faith and how we each call on someone, something higher than we are to help us on this path. I so appreciate how you continue to encourage us and give us little ‘pats on the back’ to let us know you are pleased with something we have said. And thank you for ‘dancing, jumping up and down, and shouting for joy’ over the good news I received yesterday in my cardiologist’s office. We are blessed to have you as our moderator. And I for one do love you. Fae, dear Fae – I love your ‘nattering’ as you put it. I read all your posts because I find them interesting, funny, sad, and serious. I am getting to know a beautiful person who has graced my path. And as we all know, we come here to share and receive strength from one another. Dear Kay, what can I say! You have been an inspiration to me since I first came on this forum. I love your very wise pieces of wisdom. You are always tuned into our concerns. You are a kind and thoughtful person. You are kind and so conscious of how you word your own concerns about those who are important in your life. What a beautiful person you are – Welcome Karen – I am so glad you are here. You do have a journey ahead of you but the best thing in your favor is that you found this place. It will be good to watch for your posts. I for one am glad to have another Arizonian along for this ride we are all taking! Harry, your words have always been so encouraging to me. I am in awe of all the work you are doing for NET research. I really like your ‘positive’ thread – it has gotten me through some rough times. It’s fun to be connected on FB and your other web sites. You are a very busy man. I am glad that you take those ‘breaks’ that we all need. Jan, my friend – I really like knowing you. We are two of a kind. I love how we can be clean across the ocean and it is as if we are next door – perhaps this is why Marty loves social media so much – it really does bring us all so close together. I have had to call on old Webster more than once for things you have said. I love hearing about the place you live in across the ocean and getting to know your family… Thank you for being my friend. Mary, oh Mary – what can I say? My gratitude for your openness and concern for me has been very touching. I’m going to embarrass you if I say too much because you’ll come back and say something like, ‘I don’t get it’ - ‘I just respond to what’s in my heart’ and that would be so correct. Your heart is very, very big. We go back to a little over one year ago and I truly have valued your comments to my posts. They have always been kind, too the point, and all times very informative. I have had to think about some things you say and be in that ‘moment’ you talk so much about. You have been patient with me when we talk on the phone and when there is that ‘silence’ and you come back with ‘I’m here, it’s ok’. You knew that I was crying and you never tried to hurry our conversation along. You are a dear friend and I am blessed to know you. I really like the quotes and meditations you supply us with. I like how you are tuned into all of us and how you share so much with us. It allows us to feel 'normal.' Thank you for being the beautiful person you are...please wear shoes or slippers now so you are used to having them on after your surgeries. I am not intentionally leaving anyone out of this post. I am only catching up to posts from people on this thread. I have come to value everyone who comes here. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted July 17, 2013 Report Share Posted July 17, 2013 Anne, it's evening here. Almost nine pm. Thank you so much for bringing me into our circle of fire. I have learnt to cherish this group. Our sadnesses (many), our triumphs (sometimes and yet always, because we survive), our sharing of quotes, videos, photos, etc etc are so precious to me. It's obvious that we are all in this awful grief journey together and we connect on a deep level. I am so happy that your latest news is good and I am now thinking particularly of our lovely Mary as she prepares for surgery on her eyes. We may not have our beloved partners physically alongside but we do have each other to talk to, confide it, seek support from, and be honest with. What a blessing. I am more grateful to this forum and its members than I can possibly express. I need everyone here. I know you all know how I feel. I feel your pain and that empathy does not make my pain greater, it just connects me. Peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted July 17, 2013 Report Share Posted July 17, 2013 Yes Anne, Someone is watching out for you. I am so happy for you too. Stephen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 18, 2013 Report Share Posted July 18, 2013 Anne, what a lovely post. I celebrate your good news and I am happy to have played a small role in your healing. Thank you, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 18, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 18, 2013 This made me think of all of us....I hope we are all taking good care of ourselves and not becoming too busy to stop and breathe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 18, 2013 Report Share Posted July 18, 2013 Honestly, Anne, after the day I've had, I just want desperately to go home and go to sleep. And tomorrow is my day to take my sisters around (handling walker and wheelchair, lots of driving), I can't bear the thought of facing it, I'm truly exhausted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 18, 2013 Report Share Posted July 18, 2013 Very dear Kay, I'm wondering what would happen if you told your sisters what you've just told us: that you've had a very hard day, that you're totally exhausted, that you honestly don't have the energy to be with them tomorrow, and that you need to REST. Knowing your sisters, wouldn't they understand that, and be willing to let you off the hook? Please, please take care of YOU, dear Kay, and get some R and R under your belt. Otherwise, you know how we will worry . . .♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 Dear Kay, Ditto! Everything Marty said. You need to give yourself some recovery time. What do we need to do to encourage you to take your own health and well-being most seriously, and primarily? We mean it! {{{hugs}}} *<twinkles>* fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 Kay, I so so agree with Marty. The first thought I had when I read how tired you are and what is on your plate for to,or row was that you will hopefully draw on your self compassion and cancel this. I remember lifting epwheelchairs in and out of cars and helping when exhausted and all that happens is more exhaustion. You are very faithful to your sisters and now they have an opportunity to be faithful to your exhaustion...to do something for you. I hope you do for yourself what you would tell any one of us to do for themselves...and postpone this event. Please! I will wear slippers for a month if you cancel. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 19, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 "Honestly, Anne, after the day I've had, I just want desperately to go home and go to sleep. And tomorrow is my day to take my sisters around (handling walker and wheelchair, lots of driving), I can't bear the thought of facing it, I'm truly exhausted." from Kay I hear what you are saying and I really hope you can hear, also - I know that your sisters count on you and that you have always been a reliable person to them. Please listen to what you have just said - "I can't bear the thought of facing it, I'm truly exhausted." You need to step back and be assured that your sisters will understand - there are times when we have to take care of ourselves and this time seems to be one of those times. You are always thinking of others, Kay, and this alone can be very exhausting. Listen to Marty, fae, and others who are concerned for you. A day of rest and pampering can bring new energy to you. We all love you and want only the best for you. We want you to rest. We want you to renew yourself. We want you to just sit with Arlie and do nothing. We will be watching to find out what you do. Remember, we are watching... Anne ps - I just read Mary's post as I posted - please do this for it will be SOOOOO good for our Mary!!! She sometimes needs a valid reason to do something that is against her nature. And she knows that we all will be watching her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 Kay, when Anne says she is watching that means you could open your front door and there she stands. I would heed the advice. And if your sisters can not understand...that is what it is and you just have to take care of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 19, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 Yes, dear Mary. I am watching you. Fae's quantum theories are too deep for me tonight, also. I listened to Hameroff and Chopra twice and I still don't know what they are talking about!! You said you are tired. You need to listen to yourself. You need to be in good physical health for Wednesday. You need to wear slippers even if Kay does not heed your advice! Love you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 Kay, we really mean it. fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 Points to Anne. Right. Mary, you will wear slippers because it is a good thing to do for yourself right now, and also, it will help to focus you more on self-care starting today. *<twinkles>* fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 I have socks on...does that count? Today's was bizarre. The door bell rang on and off all day. A VERY intense 2 hour session. Workman. Cleaning lady. Garden group leader. And enough tears to fill the Mississippi in between all these. Just too much to deal with right now and I cry. I watched about ten minutes of the Chopra YouTube and did get a lot of it but knew I could not hold the energy it took to get what I got..But I will....I love this stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 And Kay, if you don't listen to them I'll have to try to get my brother to come down from Seattle and arrest you. Harry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 19, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 Now we'll all be in trouble if Harry starts to come after us!!! We won't know which way to turn. You better listen, Kay. Being Tired and Weary reminded me of Simon and Garfunkel’s song ‘Bridge Over Troubled waters’ – ‘when you’re weary, feeling small’ – it seems like we all go through seasons when we feel weary and discouraged. Today seems to be one of those days when many of us are just plain tired. Grief does that to us. Sometimes when the responsibilities build up I think we are not really sure where to turn. I think that this is the time we pause and reflect on our own needs. Am I tired because I’ve been doing too much? Am I tired because the week’s work has been too heavy? Is there a way to slow down and not be involved in so many activities. Am I sleeping well? Am I eating nourishing meals? Do I take time to play? Do I take time to nourish my soul? Most of us really do not take care of ourselves. Those of us who have been caregivers are slowly learning that it is our turn now to be cared for and attended to. It is time to slow down. It is time to listen to our own needs. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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