Guest babylady Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 stephen -- is mindy your dog? i have it in my will that my ashes be combined with john's, but didn't make a decision as to what to do with them. howie is 2nd executor of my will. he said they should be scattered in my back yard. my friend michael passed in '01 and we scattered his ashes on my property. the house hadn't been built yet. his SO of 25 years and i climbed up the mountain and did a little ceremony before we scattered them. arlene Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosel Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 I haven't written an a long time but i read the forum every night. Yesterday was a hard day for me; it would have been our 49th anniversary. My husband has been gone for 2 years 8 months and 4 days. I made it through the first year fairly well, but the second year is when I fell in a black hole . Slowly over the past year I am doing better but I still have some bad hours and bad days. I have tried to become a little more social but it is hard for me to do things alone. When I do leave the house I am ready to return in a short while; but when I get back home it is so quiet and lonely. The loneliness really gets to me. I have family but they have their own lives and are busy. I know eventually things will get better but I am the one who has to make it better no one can do it for me. Anne, you can add me as another in the Phoenix area. Cosel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 Dear Cosel, Yeah! Another person in beautiful Arizona. I am so sorry that you are having a difficult time. I am only beginning my second year. The 'fog' has lifted and I now face the reality that my Jim really is gone and this is really going to be my new 'normal.' I think that most of us are having trouble with loneliness. It is such a different life for us especially when we have spent most of our lives with our partners. No one could have prepared me! We would have celebrated our forty year wedding anniversary in December of 2012. Yes, family do have their own schedules. That is life. This forum is one place that we all come to draw strength from one another. Welcome to our 'fire.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest babylady Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 the loneliness is awful. like anne i'm in my 2nd year of grieving. don't have any family here. i have my friend howie, but he has his massage practice and a wife. my other friend is sick and has agoraphobia. several of my friends here in phoenix got sick. makes you kind of wonder. here we are in this beautiful place and can't really enjoy it. don't know if i ever mentioned it but john called me "babylady". he gave me that name when we first met. we were together almost 42 years and he was with IBM for almost 43 years. i have a few friends back in NYC who i stay in touch with. one friend e-mails me every day. my other friend came out to visit in april. we talk on the phone every week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 Loneliness is a constant isn't it? And home is a comfort but still the place where we are most lonely because this is where our beloved ones were and are with us. We run a mth trap (well I suppose I should say I do now) and its very hot here ate the moment by English standards (80 degrees) and its good for moths. I decided to go,out in the dark and look to see them flying in but I couldn't do it. Checking them in the morning without Pete I can do but being alone in the garden looking at the trap is too sad. It will be our 51 st wedding anniversary on 28th July. Pete didn't make our 50th, but I still count them up. He is with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 Thanks for asking Mary. I'm okay but woke up this morning crying. Still happens once and again. But alas, just another day. I bet I will laugh before the day is done. I am enclosing a pic that my friend Bob's wife painted. She donates one every year to Hospice for their art auction in Phoenix. I get to donate the framing. She still paints and is damn good. And yes Arlene, Mindy was our dog. Kathy's baby really. I met them when Mindy was two. They let me into the pack. Stephen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 20, 2013 Report Share Posted July 20, 2013 Stephen, Even I still have the crying bouts, had one this week, but it's becoming much less frequent, although that doesn't mean I miss him any less. I think about him all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted July 20, 2013 Report Share Posted July 20, 2013 Yes Kay, I know what you mean. I doubt they will ever completely stop but that's okay. It's hard to love forever without the sorrow still lingering. Do rest this weekend if you can. You've done a lot today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest babylady Posted July 20, 2013 Report Share Posted July 20, 2013 Thanks for asking Mary. I'm okay but woke up this morning crying. Still happens once and again. But alas, just another day. I bet I will laugh before the day is done. I am enclosing a pic that my friend Bob's wife painted. She donates one every year to Hospice for their art auction in Phoenix. I get to donate the framing. She still paints and is damn good. And yes Arlene, Mindy was our dog. Kathy's baby really. I met them when Mindy was two. They let me into the pack. Stephen beautiful painting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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