Eyes - Mary's, Queen Mary's, Kay's And Anyone Else Here...

[Wifflesnook]

Mary I am so so happy for you. No one deserves good news more. I believe in miracles (never used to but I am very different these days). Get home ASAP and back to Bentley (so long as its safe to drive)

Jan

[mfh]

My dear friends, I thank you so very much for your support. I just slept for about 2.5 hours....woke up not knowing where I was or what day it is or whether it was morning or evening. Instantly my eye started driving me nuts but i expected that. it is like having pieces of broken glass in it and every once in a while a "piece" digs in. I do not know what causes it. I am not allowed to touch my eye. I do know that this too shall pass and I have NO complaints...just gratitude. But it does feel good to say it. If I say it at dinner tonight I will get another platitude of some sort... so I speak little though again I am grateful for a place to be this week and will head out tomorrow morning to get my Bentley.

fae and Marty, you said I AM a miracle. That is a powerful statement. I can only say that I thank you, I must add that you are also both miracles as is everyone here.

Jan, Harry, Kay, Mary Queen of Hearts, Deborah, Anne-I thank you all so very much. I am still sort of shocked by the week...the surgery was not as frightening thanks to drugs, I have had no pain to speak of just irritation locally (that drives me nuts-like having something in your eye but no ability to get rid of it) and to top it off...my cornea is fine. Now THAT is the miracle. I thank you all and love you all. Once I get home Mary, we can chat so I can tell you all about cataract surgery...and hopefully alleviate some unknowns for you.

Peace

Mary

I shall now join the 5 members of this community who have been out in the field working all day... One got called from dinner last night as someone in the next parish was dying at home and the family called him to come instead of their own pastor. He left dinner and scooted out the door like lightning. Jim did administer the anointing of the sick to me before we went to the hospital yesterday. Each one of these men does their work even as they age...except the newbie who is 27...a kid, just ordained and learning the ropes. He is cute...and sweet. I can not wait to get home tomorrow. If I get out of here by 9 I will be home by 3 including picking Bentley up from the kennel...having pulled off to do eye drops en route...a 45 minute process. He will dance around the room when he sees me...just so excited he will be beside himself...though Bill did not dance around the room he got just as excited to see me whether i had been gone a week or a couple of hours...as I did him....and will someday.

[HAP]

Dear Mary,

Be careful on the road tomorrow. Have a good--and safe--trip. Bentlley will be glad to see you whenever you get there.

Peace,

Harry

[mfh]

Harry, I will be careful. I have these monstrous glasses that go over my glasses and ironically I can see to drive but if I close my non-surgical eye...it is blurred so I am on guard but overall I can see well. With the surgical eye I can read the TV words without glasses...already. And it will improve. I think I will go to Walgreen's, get a cheap pair of glasses that match my left eye Rx (except for the astigmatism Rx part of it) remove the right lens and drive home. Rain tomorrow....that will actually help unless it is torrents in which case I will wait. Too tired to fight rain. Thank you.

[kayc]

Mary,

Drive safely, stop and rest your eyes frequently. Give Bentley a big hug from me!

I live with that irritation on a daily basis, and have for years. I got a cyst on my eye a few years ago, it looks like a jellyfish...if I have it surgically removed it can grow back in two weeks or two years, no way of knowing, so I live with it. Now I have a hard cyst on my other eyeball, even more uncomfortable. Every time I blink, it hurts. It does feel just like having something in my eyes that I can't get out. I know how very annoying that is! I have a tiny bottle of $200 drops to help make them smaller when they get real bad, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I need to get a new bottle (I hate going to doctors!). I miss my old doctor that I had for 34 years.

Only one more to do and then you'll be done? I hope so!

[Queeniemary]

Mary, I do look forward to chatting about your surgery. Already just seeing what you have posted makes me feel so much better when thinking about Nov. and Dec. for me. Be safe today, and hug Bentley when you pick him up (silly, of course you will!!). We will talk soon. (Mary, Queen of Hearts, I love that!!!)
Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

[enna]

I am sorry about the discomfort you are having with your eyes, Kay. You are in my prayers as I offer a prayer for Mary's safe trip.

My morning prayer today is for the safe trip of Mary as she returns home after her surgery. Dear Father of our universe, keep Mary safe as she returns to her home. Thank you for the good news we received about her first eye surgery. May her healing continue and may she find comfort in knowing that Bill was/is with her during this time. We are all blessed with Your Goodness and we ask that each day we accept what we are dwelt and open our hearts to those around us. Today we focus on Gratitude. We are all grateful for the sun and moon and stars. We are grateful for the waters and land and all things that grow. We are grateful for all furry things on land. And, we are grateful for dolphins, whales, and every living thing in the waters. We take time to see just one of these things today and thank you for our eyesight.

[mfh]

I AM home. Long challenging drive…heavy rain half of the way, vision compromised as no glasses work, gapers’ back up 45 minutes, construction, headache and I feel like someone beat me up. Other than that I am fine. It took a lot longer than usual. I am going to close my tired eyes and hopefully sleep. It feels good to be home…even with the tears…always hard to come home to empty house. I stopped for Bentley. Just want to let you know…after I get a nap I will post more. I will also read posts later.

Love

Mary

[KarenK]

Mary,

I am glad that you are home safely. I have to say that you are one tough lady. I had not realized in the beginning that you were making the trip alone, so, many kudos to you for your bravery.

My eyes are so-so at my age, and like Kay, I used to get the little "jellyfish" bubbles. The first time that the doc came at me with that razor blade was a little scary. The second time, less so, but I'm sure glad you were "out" when they used the needle for your eye.

Get lots of rest now and hope to see your smiling face soon.

Karen

[feralfae]

I am so glad you are home. I hope you and Bentley have some EIM tea, and you are now resting with no shoes, feet up, Bentley nearby, or else that you are asleep for the night. You are probably road-wired. I hope you can take a nice warm shower or bath and toss on a cozy robe or gown.

Sleep gently and in Peace, dear Mary.

*<twinkles>*

fae

[Wifflesnook]

Mary, so glad you are home. I am surrounded by little ones, one of whom arrived in my bed at five am so am busy busy busy, but still trying to read postings, especially as they relate to you. I take them back tomorrow and drive home on Monday. Then another visitor on Tuesday to Saturday though not stopping with me. I need silence and rest soon. Please take care of yourself and recover from what must have been such a tough time.. Peace. Jan

[Guest babylady]

sending you a big hug mary.

[mfh]

I have either been sleeping or feeling extremely emotional with lots of tears since i got home. Perhaps a letting down after so much fear. Wouldn't life be easier without fear? Think about that. it is either fear or love. i work hard to live at the love end of this continuum. Thanks for reading all my lengthy posts. I share a lot of stuff here that I have not shared elsewhere...especially since being in Chicago alone for all practical purposes.

Karen, you have had major surgery and PT so I think YOU are the courageous one...also a long recuperation time. So many here have had health issues...our immune systems compromised, issues postponed while caregiving, and more.

I believe I am releasing and letting down after living on guard for so long anticipating this surgery and being without Bill for it and the possible outcome. The tears are profuse and missing Bill has escalated to an all time high I.e. as in the first and yes second years. Exhausted also...but grateful and relieved. I will lay low all week as I need to drive back down on Wednesday and i do eye drops every 4 hours and that takes about 40 minutes. I have had perhaps six or seven friends offer to go with me but the thought of talking all that time or just being "on" is too much. Bill and i could easily drive to Mahler or Wagner....and not talk for stretches. My brother will not be there next week as he left on vacation today. I might treat myself to a nice motel room Wednesday instead of the monastery....I will drive home on Thursday but should be able to see better because i will go to Walgreen's or Walmart this week and see what i can find for distance. i do not need the rx in my right lens at all for distance now and do need the one in my left lens. i am also going to take my old glasses to see if the gal at Walmart (where i get computer glasses made)can remove the right lens for driving and get a cheap pair of readers. i do not get a new rx until sept. 20. Boring details of Mary's life.

After Thursday I am free until Aug 20 when I do this all over again for my left eye. I think if I can get the image of a needle going into my eye (which I have absolutely no recollection of) out of my head, this one will be easier except for the unknown about the cornea's survival but even that feels more positive.

Thank you all for walking with me on this journey. Your messages mean so much to me.

Peace,

Mary

[MartyT]

Mary, my dear, please know that, while certainly a part of it, this is more than "letting down after so much fear." Any kind of surgery is a major assault to your system, physical as well as emotional, and it is only natural that your body will need recuperation time. Give in to it, and don't try to analyze it ~ just go with it, and rest whenever you can. Caring for Bentley is more than enough for you to "do" right now. You are the only person there to take care of you around the clock, so you must take special care to pamper yourself this week, and give in to those moments of feeling weak or tired or weepy. All of this is to be expected. Listen to your body and give it what it needs to heal. ♥

[mfh]

Thank you, Marty. I do agree that my entire being/system has been assaulted...in spite of the anesthesiologist saying to me as he explained what would happen, "this is more of a procedure than surgery". I'm sorry but when someone cuts into my eye, removes the lens, replaces it with a new artificial lens...sewing it in place I guess, puts a needle into that eye to put you out completely and then partially...all while not knowing if the cornea will decompose...I will call that surgery. I think that guy needs to have some surgery. He might sing a different tune.

Except for my MD, I felt minimized through the entire thing...from the nurse to arriving home safely finally and knowing you and others "get it" and hear me.

I WILL and AM taking care of me...through this whole thing and that, I see now, needs to include less typing. I love reading some of the posts but need to cut back on typing as that is more tedious to my eyes. The posts carry me.

Thank you for the reminder...Bentley is clinging to me. I am not prepared to walk him today as I am still wobbly. He will survive. Love, Mary

[Queeniemary]

Happy you are home safely. And that you and Bentley are resting. Please just do that throughout the weekend, I do think resting your eyes, not trying to type, or even read a lot is good. Put on some meditation music, or some good old time rock and roll, and just float!

I will talk to you soon.

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

[mfh]

Dear Mary,

I will get in touch with you via phone early next week....and share what I know. I do plan to rest my eyes and my being.

Thank you,

Mary

[Guest babylady]

mary -- it's okay to be emotional. i started crying just reading your post. i have so many fears. someone said to me a few weeks ago "faith is stronger than fear". i'm not sure exactly what you had done, but i had cataract surgery on both eyes (a week apart) in '05. i remember they put me out for a few minutes so they could numb the eye. i'm assuming they put a needle into it. i was awake during the procedure -- i remember the doc saying "i'm removing the cataracts now" and I'm putting the lens in now". it was all done very quickly -- we were lined up in the OR like an assembly line. i was able to remove the covering after a few hours and i remember my eye just looked like it was floating around. in my case the surgery had a great outcome. i no longer have to wear contact lenses or glasses except for reading.

[HAP]

Dear Mary,

Glad to hear you made it home safe and that Bentley came home with you. Go easy between now and the next as best you can. Marty is right about the strain of any medical procedure--especially when you are alone afterward. Even my last stress test left me more emotionally drained than I expected--and the results were super positive. You were under anesthesia, had a needle in your eye, a lens cut out, a new one sown in--worried about the cornea decomposing--woof. I'm exhausted just thinking about it all--and you had it actually done to you.

Then dealing with your brother, dealing with the monastery, the drive home through the rain and the construction... If you sleep for a week none of us would be shocked. And being that tired lets all the emotional stuff out all over again. I get a taste of that every time my insomnia flares up--but the exhaustion of all you have been through this week makes the occasional sleepless night pale by comparison.

It's normal but that doesn't make any of it any easier to deal with, I'm sure. Rest my friend. Play with Bentley as the spirit moves you. We are all here if you need us.

Peace,

Harry

[mfh]

mary -- it's okay to be emotional. i started crying just reading your post. i have so many fears. someone said to me a few weeks ago "faith is stronger than fear". i'm not sure exactly what you had done, but i had cataract surgery on both eyes (a week apart) in '05. i remember they put me out for a few minutes so they could numb the eye. i'm assuming they put a needle into it. i was awake during the procedure -- i remember the doc saying "i'm removing the cataracts now" and I'm putting the lens in now". it was all done very quickly -- we were lined up in the OR like an assembly line. i was able to remove the covering after a few hours and i remember my eye just looked like it was floating around. in my case the surgery had a great outcome. i no longer have to wear contact lenses or glasses except for reading.

We all have fears, Arlene...you are not alone with that. Our journey here is, in part, to develop trust in life and let go of all we can let go of. I had cataract surgery but because of a disease I have in my eyes, it was possible that the cornea would decompose during or following surgery. Yes, I was also alert during the surgery but relaxed and if that sounds crazy to others as someone cuts my eye...it sounds crazy to me also. No assembly line...it was quite personal and respectful just a few interfering factors...I am glad your surgery had a great outcome. I think mine will also but until it is all over, I am hanging in there in trust. Thanks so much, Mary

[mfh]

It's normal but that doesn't make any of it any easier to deal with, I'm sure. Rest my friend. Play with Bentley as the spirit moves you. We are all here if you need us.

Harry, thanks so very much for your empathy and understanding. As for being tired...I can hardly believe I was out of breath just getting dressed today. I started getting a massive headache and realized I left my blood pressure meds in Chicago and discovered it 5 minutes before the pharmacy closed today...so I called and they know me (I got a lot of meds there for Bill), got dressed and went over for a two week supply. I do not normally get headaches and it could have been the absence of my meds or something to monitor for an ER call to the surgeon. It is now gone...meds did it. I also stopped at the grocery store in the village for a few things and by the time I got back I was exhausted...I am limited to a 10 pound lift so the kid took the two bags to my car and I made 4 trips into the house as I did not know how much they weighed. Lesson learned. I will not leave the house tomorrow. I will call a friend to do any errand I need. One brought a nice lunch today, another flowers and watered for me, and another is "on call" so I am well taken care of....in spite of this silent house that is missing Bill so very much right now. The tears flow. You know how it is...everyone here knows. My eyes tire easily so I am monitoring how much I do. I read little, watch movies and plan to watch Sound of Music which fae sent me among others. How sweet is that?

Peace to all,

Mary

[HAP]

very sweet. Enjoy.

H.

[Queeniemary]

Mary a phone call will be wonderful. I am in and out the first two days next week, but Wednesday should be home all day, but you are traveling. However, feel free to call me any time you want, if I am out of the house, I will let you know and we will reschedule. I screwed up last week, I thought the appointment card said I was to take Sassy on the 25th to be groomed....it said 24th, and so I was a day late. She was totally booked, so I have to take her Monday the 29th instead. I am doing that more and more lately. I am beginning to rely more and more on writing my appointments down in the calendar on my phone, if I had done that, I would have been there on the correct day. One of the things about growing older that I do not like. Hope you are resting today, and taking care of yourself and enjoying Bentley.

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas 76 degrees here today, loving it.

[kayc]

Mary,

So glad you made it home and got Bentley back. How is your vision doing now, will you have to have new lenses made when the other surgery is over?

My eyes were bothering me greatly this weekend. Yesterday I noticed pieces of white stuff in the corners of my eye and then I noticed one of the cysts (not the clear one but the hard corpuscle one was breaking up, which relieved some of my discomfort. It's so weird to have something like that right on my eye! I've been using the medicine on it, that helps reduce it, so maybe it's doing it's job...sometimes it works well, sometimes not.

Mary,

I had a mole "zapped" with some freeze-dry stuff that basically killed the mole and made it go away a couple of years ago. I got a bill for it that described it as surgery. Thinking it was a mistake, I called the ins. co. and told them all she did was spray something on it...the ins. agent told me nonetheless they call it "surgery". I reckon if spraying something on a mole can be called surgery, certainly what you went through qualifies as such!!! It will take time for you to get over this traumatic event and I hope and pray you continue resting the next few days and just enjoying Bentley and being home.

[kayc]

Q. Mary,

I keep track of everything through my Google Calendar...I even have a calendar for work related things to remember. I set it up to remind me through "pop up" or email, and I love this calendar as I can reach it on any computer or my cell phone.