Constant Crying

[Guest babylady]

i'm a very emotional empathetic person. about 12 years or so i started to cry a lot -- whether it be a sad movie, seeing a dead animal, etc. i cried when my granddaughter's aunt passed and i never met her. i cried uncontrollably when ted kennedy passed away. i cried when i found out my friend's husband (an attorney) did something wrong and was disbarred. i didn't cry for him -- i cried for her because she had no idea until the story hit the NY Times. i cried with joy when obama was elected -- especially the first time when i saw all those people in grant park crying.

since john passed it's worse. i'm crying as i write this. remembering the happy times together makes me cry. if i see miami beach on tv i cry as we spent many vacations there.

i cry when i think about my family -- my aunts, uncles, grandma, etc. who are all gone now. i cry when i think about the happy times we had together.

my friend howie said "you cry when you see a rabbit walk across your property".

i've tried 5 antidepressants with no luck. i was on celexa the longest and i cried one day for 10 hours -- almost non-stop.

sometimes when i'm out in public i try to hold back the tears and i start to hyperventilate or i have an anxiety attack. as soon as i make it to my car the flood gates open.

is there something seriously wrong with me?

arlene

[zeeks]

There is nothing wrong with you. My granddaughter has endured the death of her mother, then two years later the death of he papa; my husband. She adopted my philosophy, do not let anyone see your grief but then for no apparent reason and usually in secret she cries like a faucet being turned on. There is no stopping it. I think your way is better, feel when you feel it because if we do not identify with our emotions they can backfire in us or turn up at inappropriate times. We need to acknowledge our emotions as we feel them or they will encompass our whole lives and rule us to the point we do not know who we really are. You know yourself and that is great! My granddaughter is only 12 herself, her father lost his mother when he was young and when papa went, his dad he climbed into a cloud of illegal "bliss" shall we say and lost most of his world. By not acknowledging his heart he has all but lost it. The only ones who know the loving sensitive side are me, and his 2 daughters of which I have guardianship of and always have. The younger granddaughter buries her feeling and is too impulsive whether it be negative or positive. So keep crying, let it out , you know yourself and you will do great things in life! I promise, God promises. You are quite normal, and we only wish we could let it out as you do!

[HAP]

Dear Arlene,

Deep breath. Let it out slowly. Take another and let it out slowly. Repeat 5-10 times. Do not, however, hyperventilate. This is to help you control your breathing--not lose control of it.

It's ok. The tears are good for you. Let them flow.

But do take walks, they will help. Drink lots of water. That will help keep you hydrated. Eat regularly. Sleep on a regular schedule. Do all you can to establish regular routines. All of this will help.

There is no right or wrong way to do any of this. There is only the way that works for you.

If there are times you need to be more in control, focus on controlling your breathing. How we breathe controls almost everything else.

But when you need to cry, cry. There is nothing wrong with that.

Peace,

Harry

[mfh]

Dear Arlene,

I am wondering if you have seen a grief counselor to help you with your pain. I believe in tears and the release and healing they bring but to cry for 10 hours straight is weakening at the very least. You are concerned about this and that is enough reason to seek out the assistance of a qualified grief counselor. Do you have a Hospice center around you to call for references? We do not have to do this journey alone. Bill and I are/were both sensitive people who cry easily. Since Bill died that sensitivity has increased which I did not think possible. But what you described here merits some intervention with a bereavement counselor who can sit with you and help guide you through this.

Mary

[kayc]

You asked if it was normal...that I don't know, but I would ask my doctor that question, because while it could be grief, it could also be compounded with hormonal imbalance which might be corrected with the right medication...it could also be side effects from the medication/s you're already on and might warrant adjusting them. Some people cry more easily than others, too, and if you've always been like that, perhaps that is just the case with you.

[Guest babylady]

mary -- i had grief counseling through hospice of the valley. also had 15 sessions with a psychologist. i just e-mailed her and said i want to start seeing her again.

today i planned on going out to eat, but woke up with IBS acting up. my health problems also contribute to my crying -- CFS, IBS, scoliosis, herniated discs. feeling sick and being alone is scary.

[mfh]

I am so glad you are getting back in touch with your counselor. Good for you. I agree that our health issues can bring us to tears also. They are exhausting and then the tears flow. Keep us in the loop about how you are. This is a tough journey and we will all make it through this channel.

Peace

Mary