Dusky Posted December 3, 2005 Report Share Posted December 3, 2005 Hello to everyone,I recently wrote a message describing what grief is to me. I thought I would share it all with you. For me this is what i am experiencing even months after the loss of my dear Jack. Here it is: What grief is to mePretend just for a moment that someone was capable – and did do it – of pulling all the electrical wires out of your home and all your plumbing – after the house was perfectly built. The house would appear to everyone as if nothing was wrong – it would still look to be whole and the outer shell would still have all the pretty paint on it and the landscaping in the yard would remain untouched. But when you went to use your beautiful home you would have no electricity and no water – not because electricity and water were not available to the area – but because someone had pulled all the wires and pluming out of your perfect looking house. It was now just a shell.What a dilemma – how would you fix it – you would have to actually rewire that house and re-plumb it to make it whole. You would not want to bull doze it because the shell was still perfectly good – it is the inside – the deep inside – behind the walls and plaster that would have to be accessed to fix your home. It would take months of careful painstaking work to find just the right way to fix it all so it worked again properly – and in the meantime you would have to try to live in that empty shell and make do with what you had.For me this is what grief is like – The shell of me is still here – but all my internal wiring/plumbing has been destroyed and must be reconnected to work again. It is a terribly slow and difficult process to reconnect it all back together – and it will be new wiring - with some of the old used material put back in - where it will fit. You desperately want to use some of that old wiring – as these are the memories of your loved one – all the material is there – it’s just in a large tangled pile of wire and pipes – and its your job to find what you can salvage and make it work with the new wiring and pipes you know you will have to buy. Slowly you take it a room at a time and begin the process – because you really love all those wires and pipes that appear to be in such a shambles – and you know what that house (person) will look like again – given enough time.So many people don’t recognize the shambles your in - because they look at the house and it appears from the outside to be normal – but reality lies in the pile of wires and pipes that need to be reconstructed. Somehow – in some time – this project will become reality – and the lights will be turned on and the water will run again – hopefully even better than before.For me - this is grief - a life long task to reconnect with life.John - Dusky is my handle on hereLove you Jack - More than you will ever know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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