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Alert! Donate Button Added!


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As a follow-up to my announcement of October 21, 2013, I want to alert visitors and members that (as you've probably noticed by now) a Donate button has been added to the pages of our Grief Healing Discussion Groups website, giving members and visitors an opportunity to donate toward its ongoing support.

As I stated in my earlier announcement, members and visitors can donate as much (or as little) as you can afford, and as often (or as seldom) as you choose, either all at once or over time (that is, recurring on a monthly basis). Donations will be accepted via PayPal, credit card or bank account (where available).

Let me say again how difficult it is for me to ask you for financial support, especially since this service has been available for over a decade at no cost to our members and visitors. In return, I can only express my heartfelt gratitude for your loyalty and understanding, and I pledge to you the same high standard of care and the same professional and ethical commitment I have offered to all of you over the last ten years.

Showing your support of our online Grief Healing Discussion Groups through our donation program is greatly appreciated. You have my personal assurance that every donation received will be used to continue our efforts to provide information, comfort and support to the bereaved and those who care for them.

Note that in the future, I pledge to you that I will not be bombarding you with repeated announcements seeking financial support. I will be writing from time to time, however, to update our members on the results of our donation program.
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Dear Marty,

You talk about how hard it is to ask for financial help to keep this site open but in my mind it is I who am grateful to you for moderating such a wonderful website. A place where grievers can come and talk about their pain and find such good resources both from you and from others who grace this site.

I know that I am very grateful to you for your lead in offering solid guidance. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. And please keep us updated as to how the financial situation is going.

Ps – Do you take chocolate as a donation? :P Anne

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  • 4 weeks later...

This evening I donated via payPal...Marty, Mary & many others...You do good work. I've read snippets of this site a few times a week over the past 4 weeks and found lots of helpful reflections, references, links. Thank you.

My husband died almost 3 months ago. I'm mostly a silent reader here, I just don't have the energy to forge new relationships. What I've learned from this site: I can't go back to my life before my husband died because it's not the same, I'm not the same. I have not yet found my new life, so I'm a bereaved in-betweener and I'm doing my best to learn here so I can move on. I gentle push myself towards and thru each surge of sorrow, try to feel it, understand it, move past the ache to the fun and loving memories. If I keep at this, I'll move forward.

Thank you for having this website for bereavement self help. I hope my small donation helps. Regards.

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I'm so sorry to learn of the death of your beloved husband, my friend, but so pleased that you've found your way to this warm and special place, as I know you will feel welcome here. I also thank you for demonstrating your support with your generous donation ~ especially before you've even come to know all of us! I promise that in return, we will be here walking beside you as you move forward on this journey. Welcome!

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I am so sorry for your loss and am so grateful that you have found this site helpful to you...and thank you for your donation. I understand fully the fatigue you feel in terms for forging new relationships and appreciate your choice to be a silent participant. You know from reading our posts that we welcome you to participate by posting when and if you are ever ready to do so. We in turn will support you, listen to you, embrace you with understanding and support. We are here for you. May you find peaceful moments in this difficult journey.


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  • 1 year later...

This actually makes me feel even more sad, I'll explain later.

My story is quite complicated with a great deal of loss in a very short time frame, so I'll try to keep it simple.

Speaking from experience.....money is no longer something I have to even cover basic needs, let alone "luxury items" (i.e. phone service, internet, bus fare, over-the-counter meds, dental exams, eye exams, etc). Sometimes even "basic needs" are not even covered; meaning choosing between food, rent, electric, prescribed med co-pays, and/or co-pays to attend doctor appointments necessary to obtain prescribed meds.

I speculate others' have turned to using your site because they also may be experiencing financial difficulties in seeking grief counseling elsewhere or making a donation. Libraries tend to have internet access and Library cards are free, so using your site is not only a "god send", it's accessible to a population without resources for monetary donations.

Now on the flip side, if I were to use your site back when I could afford said "luxury items" previously mentioned, I would at least make donations equivalent to a co-payment once or twice a month. Probably even once a week just as I would if I were going to group counseling.

So the following is why I feel even more sad.

1. I have no monetary resources to make any kind of donation to your site (you should see how I do my laundry, kinda funny really).

2. There's no where else I can find, so far, in the community (I've been looking for over a year but don't qualify for one reason or another).

3. The other sites I've scoped out don't "feel" right, are not up to date, and/or are too specific regarding loss (I'd have to join way too many groups to cover my losses).

You've accepted me.....and I want to "donate" per say, but how can I "donate"? What about skills, time, something?

It'll take outside the box thinking; however, there's gotta be something members in my situation can do to help out. I know Anne was joking about donating chocolates in her post, but you never know what one can bring to the table that might be useful.

Anyway despite my losses and limitations, I'm talented/skilled/educated/experienced in an array of topics, interests, and fields of study.

So much for being brief :-)


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Oh my dear RainFire,

I’m going to jump in and assure you that you are not the only one who comes to this site and is struggling with money problems. There are many of us who barely make it from week to week and more often than not do not even have money for necessities.

One thing I strongly believe about this site that is owned by our moderator, Marty, is that the request for donations is just that ~ it is a request, not a subscription.

Those who have the means can give and those who can’t should not feel any obligation. The site is open for all and Marty will let us know if there are concerns with keeping the site open. Marty will let us know if I am wrong in my thinking.

It has been said in the past that some people give generously because they can, but those who can’t, need not feel that they are not welcome. We are all welcome here and I so agree with you about how good this site is. However, it can never take the place of personal grief counseling for that is not the purpose of the site. The site is for all those of us who come here to share our journeys and at the same time receive excellent material to read and ponder.

And, by the way, anyone who knows Marty’s love for chocolate knows that she would accept chocolate anytime ~ even as a donation. :P

I encourage you to always feel free to come to this site. Be here with us. Share your journey with us and let us walk with each other as we heal. If there is a concern about keeping the site open, Marty will let us know.

What a lovely gesture to offer your talents ~ I know that will touch Marty's heart.


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I hope you don't feel obligated to pay because you use this site, it is a donation basis and not everyone has the same resources. I am in the same boat, my outlay is greater than my income and I already have it cut to basics. I, too, am in the position of having to pick and choose...do I want to go to the doctor, get my car fixed, or eat? It's hard to have to choose between basic necessities, but there it is. Hopefully it won't always be to this degree though and someday I can do more for others. As it is, I can only make a very meager donation once a month and at my church I volunteer my time as I have more of it than I do monetary resources. I do hope not being able to contribute will not stop you from making use of this site as we all help each other make it through our journeys and each of us contributes in our own way.

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Very well said, Anne and Kay.

Welcome, RainFire, for you are a member of this Tribe, around this healing fire. Here you will find compassion, caring, and understanding for your broken heart. We are each on a unique journey of grief and this is a place where there are no mandatory fees or dues.

We are so very glad you have found this place and come to join us on your journey.



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RainFire, I've been a member here for about four months. It is an amazing resource for all of us in grief. Marty is a wonderful group leader, there is a great moderator staff and a great group of members. Having said that, I want to speak to the donation issue you brought up.

I hope I'm not speaking out of turn here but I think I'm very qualified to make sense of this. I've run an online car related message board community for nearly 13 years. Forums like this are not run by big corporations. The donations go towards helping Marty with the rising costs of running a wonderful community like this.

At my forum, as well as at this board, donations are voluntary. This is a free site to join and post and read. Clearly, just as at my site, not every member is in a financial position to donate. Marty fully understands that.

So RainFire, please don't feel guilty in any way that you aren't able to donate money at this time. Continue to post, and in a way, that's a form of donating and contributing. A forum is only as active and good as it's postings.

On a personal note, I haven't been able to donate yet either, due to poor finances. And I've certainly never felt pressured to do so.

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We try to donate quarterly. I'm late this time, not because I forgot, but because many things are happening here. We'll donate today using PayPal. I asked Jerry to donate a couple of weeks ago, but since I didn't write it, bless his heart, he forgot. Yes, I'm from the Deep South. I was transplanted in California, Jerry's homestate, forty-seven years ago, and my root system thrives well here. I love my second home.


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