ErikP Posted November 1, 2013 Report Share Posted November 1, 2013 Hello all! Let me first say that, like many others, I found this forum via google search and I've now spent the last few days reading every post that relates to my situation. I'm not sure why, but it's comforting to know that there are others out there that are going (or have gone) through the exact same thing! I know I probably shouldn't start a new topic on situations that been addressed plenty of times before, but I don't want to hijack another thread, so here we are. Let me start from the top... My girlfriend and I starting dating back around the first of June. Things took off almost instantly. We would talk/text for hours a day (at the time she was home about 1,300 miles away). She came and visited me twice over the summer, and we fell in love pretty quick after only about 2 months of dating. Which I know is quick, but the feelings were that strong, and I know she felt the same way I do. Just before she was going to come down to visit for the 3rd time in August, her dad very suddenly had a massive heart attack and died right in front of her. No warning signs, and to our knowledge, he wasn't even experiencing any chest pains or anything like that. In the first few weeks since his passing, things were relatively normal between us. I even flew up for his memorial service, in fact, that was the first time I actually met her family...which I understand is a little strange, but nonetheless, everyone seemed to be very accepting of me. Then around mid-September (about a month since his passing), she started to become more distant. She would have trouble holding my hand, showing affection, intimacy, etc. But we were still very good at communicating with one another (one of the best parts of our relationship). Since then, she has only seemed to crawl more inward, though we are still talking daily, things are very different than what they were. She has since told me that she needs a little space, and doesn't feel like she can be invested in a relationship right now. We're not broken up, but obviously, things are way different now than they were a few months ago. Like I said, we do still talk daily, and we are actually going out tonight, but any affection is limited to hugs and maybe a peck on the lips. That in itself, is unusual, because she has openly admitted that she is a very affectionate person. I'm trying to give her the space that she's asked for, but by the same token, I don't want to make her feel like she's alone so I'm trying to just let her know that I'm here for her in whatever capacity she needs. I can't imagine the agony she is going through losing her father so suddenly, and I don't pretend to know what she's going through, nor do I tell her "it's going to be alright". I'm letting her go through her grieving process in her own unique way. However, I think she is starting to question our relationship and whether or not her feelings for me are true (which I 100% think they are). This does hurt me a little, because I still love her dearly. I guess I don't really have a question, other than, can this relationship ultimatley work out? I believe we can get through this, those close to me believe we can get through it, and even her own mother thinks we can get through this. But this is a hard pill to swallow right now, and I'm glad I found this forum. Thanks all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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