Hope And Healing For Grievers, With Ashley Davis Bush

[MartyT]

This from author and psychotherapist Ashley Davis Bush, LICSW:

I am pleased to follow up my video series with 6 live teleseminars titled Hope and Healing for Grievers. I will offer the first one for free and it will air this Friday, November 22nd at 6pm EST. The topic of this first live talk will be What to Expect When You Are Grieving. If you register, you will have 1 week to access a recording of the teleseminar for you to listen to or download.

Just click the link below and you'll be directed to the registration page.

Click Here to Register for Friday's Free Teleseminar

I am wishing you light in the darkness,

Peace,

Ashley

[In this one hour FREE live talk, Ashley will discuss the grieving process from Shock to Synthesis. She will describe what is normal, what is to be expected, and what you might encounter on the dark road. There will be time for questions and answers as well. Ashley Davis Bush has been working with grievers for over 20 years and is the author of the book, Transcending Loss: Understanding the Lifelong Impact of Grief and How to Make it Meaningful.]

[enna]

Again, another excellent talk by Ashley Davis Bush. We have heard, read, listened to others tell us what to expect when you are grieving but it is always good to hear more. To me it only proves how very important it is to allow yourself to grieve. To understand that grief is not linear rather it spirals. We are never going to be who we were rather we are going to take on a "new" self. One who will learn to live with the memories of our loved one in our hearts. I think we become more sensitive and compassionate. I am beginning to be more grateful for just being alive.

I am so tired and it is hard work but I believe that this will pass if I allow myself to be gentle with myself. It is all worth it to me. I can't imagine not having known Jim.

Anne

[mfh]

Looking forward to watching this today. I assume we know that Ashley lost her first husband several years ago and recently remarried. Her husband (second husband) went through a round of cancer last year. From what I know he is now doing well. It is not too late to listen to this talk: http://instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=48508266%C2'> Go to this link. The password is hope.

Peace

Mary

[enna]

Marty mentioned the link above to Ashley Davis Bush’s free teleseminar and today I listened to the first of five of Ashley Davis Bush’s paid teleseminars. Tonight’s was titled, Managing the Pain: Tools for Coping. The three tools needed to manage your pain when grieving are Body, Mind, and Spirit – many of her suggestions are not new but I did find her use of the 4/7/8 breathing technique good - breathe in to the count of 4, hold to the count of 7 and breathe out to the count of 8. She also mentioned that a power nap is great for our bodies. Three to five minutes is all it takes and focus on your breathing. There was a web site that she mentioned about focusing that I jotted down – www.focusing.org - it explains what focusing is and how we can ask ourselves the question, “How am I right Now?” Sort of like having a dialog with your self…it is so important to be kind to yourself.

Her Mind Tool said that we have to take breaks from our grief – journal, watch movies, listen to music, read if you can – all things that take you away from your grief for awhile.

When putting words to your grief be more positive – tell yourself that you can do it. Say to yourself that my grief is so painful that this is the hardest work I’ve ever done. It is very important how we speak to ourselves during our grieving.

If you can look through photos or movies they will allow you to see all the wonderful things you shared together.

Also, one of the Mind Tools she mentioned was the use of guided imagery. I have found this to be very helpful to me. Belleruth Naparstek is one who uses guided imagery often. We have several posts from this woman in the meditation thread.

Lastly, she mentioned the Spirit Tool to help us as we grieve. Prayer, meditations, visiting a grave site or do whatever is natural for you. Later we will be able to reach out to others like buying a book for someone or a toy for a child in honor of our loved one.

Being grateful for what we had in our relationship with our loved one. Being grateful for what we have now like our families, our health, our ability to see, feel, hear, touch, and smell. Focus on what we have left – technology, nature, using our creative expressions like art, writing, music, or poetry.

This was a good talk and I only wish it were not one that you have to buy. She will be doing one each Monday until just before Christmas. I find her information positive and helpful.

Next Monday she will talk about, Communities: Those Who Understand and Those Who Don’t. Nothing says I can’t share my notes. Anne

[MartyT]

I think it's wonderful that you're willing to find these programs, listen so carefully to their content, take such good notes, and share what you're learning with all of us, Anne. Thank you! ♥

[mfh]

Thank you for those notes, Anne. The Focusing approach was founded by Eugene Gendlin. His wife was my prof in my Psy. D program and one of the best instructors (and sort of a friend) I ever had. He would pop in once in a while. His book, Focusing, is one you might enjoy. Here is a link to info about him: And about her: http://www.focusing.ec/index.php/en/what-we-do/eugene-gendlin-supports-the-literacy-of-the-pause/mhsupports

It all ties in with Mindfulness before the word Mindfulness was known....as you can see from reading any of the materials. A felt sense, if I remember way back then, is one of the terms used by Gendlin. I do appreciate how you are reading and listening to all these.

Peace,

Mary

[enna]

You are welcome, Marty and Mary.

Mary, I went to the link and found it most interesting and I shall be looking up Gendlin's book but right now, I am off Amazon until I read books that are coming in faster than I can read them. I am sure you understand what I mean!

Anne

[mfh]

Anne, Gendlin's book is an old one so IF you decide to break your promise to yourself about buying books (as I do too often) you can get it for 1 cent plus shipping. Here it is for 1 cent plus 3.99 shipping or $4 if you are a prime member. http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0553278339/ref=sr_1_1_olp?ie=UTF8&qid=1385516203&sr=8-1&keywords=gendlin+focusing&condition=used

As for Bentley, he is doing very well. He is 10 years old now, well over his fever and infection, clean as a whistle post grooming last week and the snow seems not to bother him at all. He will go out and lie down in it as if it is grass. His thick fur helps, I am sure. Thanks for caring about Mr. B as I know you do. Hard to believe it is a year (almost) since your Mr. B came along.

Peace to you,

Mary